Friday, June 30, 2017

Over 50? Your sex toy store experiences

Joan at Smitten Kitten Minneapolis
6/30/17 update: So many folks in our age group have never shopped in a sex toy shop, or think they're all dark, scary, and sticky-floored. I describe today's progressive sex toy store, demystify the experience of shopping there, and encourage you to find the closest store and visit in "How to Shop for Sex Toys" for Senior Planet. I quoted several of you! I hope you'll comment there and copy your comment here, too. Thanks for being part of our community.

original post 6/10/17:

How old were you when you first visited a sex toy store? If your first visit was after age 50, what was that like for you? How did the staff make you feel comfortable (or not)? Was it difficult for you to ask questions? I invite you to share by posting a comment.

Good Vibrations San Francisco
Many of my events are in sex toy stores. At 73, I'm comfortable in stores whose walls are populated by shelves of vibrators and dildos. I love to visit to see what's new. I pal around with staff members, delighting in the kinds of discussions that sex nerds enjoy.

Yet I frequently hear from people of my generation that they don't feel comfortable even going into a sex toy shop, let alone asking intimate questions of strangers who look to be the age of their grandchildren. I know what terrific resources these stores are, staffed by trained sex educators and filled with sex toys (aka "orgasm tools," as I sometimes call them) that can intensify your sexual pleasure in ways you thought had disappeared or at least decreased after a certain number of birthdays.

Pleasure Chest NYC
I'd love for this post to become a discussion. Whether you love sex toy shops or you've never dared go in one, or anything in between, please share your experiences and views as comments on this post.* You don't have to use your real name (choose something other than "anonymous," please, just so we can keep track of who's saying what), but please give your real age.

I might want to quote from your experience in an upcoming article. I won't identify you, except by age, unless you want me to. Thank you!

* Please, though, don't post a comment aimed at promoting your own business. If you want to advertise on this blog (a very good idea if you want to reach our age group, but only after I scrutinize your site, the quality of your products, and your customer service), email me to inquire. Any commercial promotions disguised as comments will be swiftly deleted.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

"He Wants Me Naked When I Fling the Front Door Open" - Roz Warren reviews Ageless Erotica

6/22/17 update. I was just telling a friend about this hilarious review and decided to bring it to your attention, too. This post is from March 2013. Yes, Ageless Erotica is still available, from either my website (autographed!) or Amazon. The book and I are 4 years older now; otherwise nothing has changed!  -- Joan


When I read Roz Warren's review of Ageless Erotica at , I laughed so hard that I immediately asked the writer for permission to republish it here. Enjoy! -- Joan

If you want a glimpse into the erotic imaginations of sex writers who’ve been around the block a few times, pick up a copy of Ageless Erotica, a new collection of sex writing by, for, and about seniors.

Joan Price, 69, is on a mission to “talk out loud about senior sex.” She gives lectures. She holds workshops. And she writes books. Better than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty was followed by Naked At Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex. And now there’s Ageless Erotica, described as a “steamy assortment of erotic stories and memoir essays written for a mature audience.”

The book collects tales of seniors from all walks of life, gay and straight, vanilla and kinky, taking their clothes off and having a good time. I’ve never found erotica a turn-on, but I still got a kick out of reading it. I even learned a few things. (Masturbation clubs for women? Who knew?)

The stories in Ageless Erotica are a fascinating mix of the sensual, the medical and the humorous. The writing itself is all over the place. Laughingly abysmal. Unabashedly smutty. And, often, oddly moving.

Here’s a sampling of my favorite lines:

“My yoni was a ravenous hollow.”

“In a flash, he was butt-naked except for his socks.”

“I came in places I didn’t know I had.”

“My first blue cock. Would anything else on earth ever feel so good?”

“I played his instrument with my mouth as if it were a flute.”

“You are amazingly well constructed,” he said. “There’s evidence of too much sun on exposed areas, leaving a coarseness to the skin, but,” he added, stroking my ass, “the hidden parts are the silkiest I’ve ever felt.”

“Lifting her breasts away from her chest, he kissed his way down, until he found her sparse, gray pubic hair.”

“A lifetime of hard work let me afford trendy cashmere sweaters.”

“You have such beautiful, manly nipples, sweetheart.”

“I skipped teasing him with the knitted glove and went straight to the surgical one — in my actual size.”

“Filthy incoherence is always a positive sign at that point in our lovemaking.”

“He wants me naked when I fling the front door open.”

“It’s my boyish charm, as I’m told, that hangs around, unlike my hair.”

“I’ve included the inevitable butt plug.”

“A heavy date requires a slow day beforehand and a preparatory nap.”

“Off to the bedroom?” I asked with a wink.

“I clutch the sheets and yell, 'Fuck, oh fuck, yes, yes, yes, do me, oh do me, thank you Sir, oh fuck, fuck, yes, yes, yes!'”

“We were naked before we even washed our vibrators.”

“I couldn’t remember if I had shaved the gray hairs from my lollipop just in case it was going to get licked.”

“Barry took my legs and spread them like a wishbone.”

“Tom Maynard, you’re as hard as a prize salami!”

“You can thank my hormone supplements. They do wonders for this kind of thing.”

"His first question when we met was, 'Do you know how to gut a deer?'”

"He says, 'I’m prepared,' code for the Levitra pill he took a half hour ago.”

“My heart resumed a normal rhythm, all fears of another infarction vanished.”

"His tongue slid around my clit, which I’ve named Ethel, and over it, and too soon, I flooded with warmth."

Intrigued? You can find Ageless Erotica at your local indy bookstore.

If it’s not in stock, just give the salesperson a lascivious wink and ask him to order it for you. And Ethel.

He Wants Me Naked When I Fling the Front Door Open: Joan Price's 'Ageless Erotica'
Roz Warren
Roz Warren writes for The New York Times and The Funny Times. Her work also appears in Good Housekeeping, The Christian Science Monitor and The Philadelphia Inquirer. Visit her website.

This review (c) Roz Warren first appeared at on March 30, 2013. It is reprinted here with Ms. Warren's permission.

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Monday, June 19, 2017

Why Don't They Ask Us?

I'm sure you've seen news stories that announce how often seniors are having sex or how much we enjoy the sex we're having. A problem I have with many of the studies about sex and aging is that they often don’t define “having sex.”

Does "having sex" mean partnered sex only? (Solo sex is real sex!) Heterosexual intercourse only? Orgasms? Are they asking whether we're having the same kind of sex we used to? What if we're enjoying new ways of having sex?

If we give a partner an orgasm and the partner gives us an orgasm, but there's no PIV (penis in vagina), did we have sex? I say yes. If we haven't had partner sex for a year but we give ourselves weekly orgasms with our favorite vibrator, are we sexually active? I say yes.

I don’t think we know much about what kind of sex seniors are having, once we broaden the definition of what sex is. My definition: Sex is any activity, solo or partnered, that gives us sexual pleasure, arousal, orgasm -- and maybe, but not always, all three. Does that cover the kind of sex you're having? Help me finesse this definition.

Let's discuss this. How would you define sex at our age? And how has your definition of sex changed over the decades? If you're willing to share your definition, or you have a comment on this topic, I invite you to post to the comments section. Your turn!