Thursday, May 18, 2017

The Wish from We-Vibe

There's a lot to love about the Wish by We-Vibe. Relatively small, the Wish is powered by two motors that work independently to give a variety of 10 patterns. For its size, it packs a powerful punch. It is made of body-safe silicone, is light and small enough for travel, and can be used solo or during partner sex for extra clitoral stimulation. It's quiet, even at the highest settings. And it's fully waterproof!

As an external vulva vibrator, the Wish is designed to curve over the whole surface of the vulva, sending vibrations to the nerve endings of the external and internal clitoris. (If you're not familiar with the parts of the clitoris that reside under the skin, my ring illustrates this in miniature, and click here for an explanation.)

You can also use the tapered tip for pinpoint vibration, if you like. The tip is pointy, soft, and squishy, so you can press down for a delightful and intense sensation.

My only problem with the Wish is that it's not quite strong enough for me. Almost, but not quite. It packs a lot of power in its small size -- it's not at all a wimpy vibrator! But at 73, I often need the turbo power of the Magic Wand, the Doxy Die Cast, or the Sybian. I acknowledge -- and you've told me this, readers -- that most of you don't need the same level of intensity that I do. In that case, I think you'd love the Wish. And if it's not quite strong enough, it's a lovely warm-up to whatever you choose as your main event.

The Wish is rechargeable using a magnetic charger. The silver plates that you see at one end are for charging. The controls are the less visible, raised white button. I found the button difficult and slightly painful to press with my arthritic hand. Pressing with my thumbnail solved the problem, and I recommend that technique. Or, use the app:

Power Pulse setting
We-Vibe offers We-Connect™, a free app that you can download from your app store, that lets you control your Wish via your phone or tablet. You can turn it off and on, choose a pattern, and turn the intensity up or down.

At first I was indifferent to this idea -- why not just press the button? But I tried it, putting my iPad on the bed beside me,  and I found I liked it!

Massage setting
I could swipe up to get to full power. I could swipe right or left to choose a pattern -- which was nicely illustrated on the screen -- instead of pressing the button until I happened upon one that I liked. I understand that I can also create my own pattern using the app, but I didn't try that.

I think We-Connect™ would be particularly helpful if you have a disability or condition that makes pressing the button difficult. There's also the option to let a lover control your Wish via the app from anywhere in the world. I didn't try that -- let me know if you do, and how you like it.

Although We-Vibe promotes the Wish as a vulva stimulator, and it definitely works for that, I think that any set of genitals would enjoy the sensations. It also works nicely as a whole body massager, curved to fit the body's peaks and valleys.

Thank you, Good Vibrations, for sending me the  Wish by We-Vibe in return for an honest review.

Sunday, May 14, 2017

How did your mother's teachings about sexuality affect you?

Shirley Kassman and
daughter Joan
I originally published this on Mother's Day, 2013. I'm bringing it back on Mother's Day, 2017.

Let's do something different here for Mother's Day: Looking back, how did your mother's teachings about sexuality affect how you matured, interacted in relationships, saw yourself as a sexual being, enjoyed your sexuality?

I was born in 1943. When I came of age, my mother, Shirley Leshan Kassman, taught me nothing about sex other than a little about menstruation. The birds-and-bees talk was left to my obstetrician/ gynecologist father, who gave me a pamphlet about how women got pregnant accompanied by "ask me if you have any questions."

Joan 1961,
senior year high school
Sure, I had questions. No, my parents weren't the ones I asked. Since my father regularly saw girls my age who were "in trouble," as unplanned pregnancy was called at the time, his point of view was decidedly and strictly a "don't do it!" warning.

So when I started having sex at 17 with my high school boyfriend, I knew I would be in big trouble if I got discovered (I did, but that's another story), and I knew nothing about pleasure.

Pleasure -- or why anyone would do these strange things with each other -- was totally omitted from my sex education. That's a weird and dangerous omission! When kissing and "petting" got me aroused, I was surprised and thought something was happening to me that didn't happen to other girls. What to do about that arousal remained a mystery, however.

In those days, no one mentioned the clitoris, not in the laughable "hygiene class" that was supposed to teach sex ed, not in any books I could find, and certainly not in the pamphlet that was supposed to ready me for adult sexuality. I had heard that women could have orgasms (no idea where I learned that), but how to make that happen? I had no idea -- neither did my boyfriend.

I have two chapters in Naked at Our Age called "Unlearning Our Upbringing" -- one with women's stories, one with men's stories. They're poignant, provocative, compelling. At a certain point we either look at our upbringing and realize it doesn't serve us any more, and we change -- or we don't.

I hope you'll add your comments and share your own experience. You don't have to use your real name (choose a first name of your choice instead of "anonymous"), but please tell us your real age so we can see how the era in which we were raised affected what we were taught about sex.

(A much shorter version of this post was published on Mother's Day 2011.)