Friday, March 20, 2015

Womanizer Clitoral Stimulator: Clitoral suction!

The Womanizer from is a sex toy that sucks your clitoris -- and that's a rock-your-world sensation!

Let's get this part out of the way first, though -- this is the ugliest, tackiest looking sex toy that has ever graced my nightstand. It looks like a design by sixth graders assigned to figure out what a girly ear thermometer might look like. It's a garish shade of fuschia, with animal print decoration. The "+" button is a fake jewel.

And the name --  Womanizer. Seriously?

And yet... it's wonderful! This magical sex toy isn't quite a vibrator, although it does vibrate. The essence of its power is suction. Position it so that the silicone attachment surrounds the nub of the clitoris, turn it on, and waves of gentle suction tug around the clitoris. It's an exquisite feeling. And yes, the rhythmic suction does lead to orgasm. Oh yes, it does.

This might be a deal breaker for you: it's very expensive, about $200. (Yes, it should be less ugly for that price.) But if the idea of having your clitoris gently and rhythmically sucked for as long as you want makes you squirm, save up for it. It's worth it. And if you don't love it, is that rare sex toy retailer that offers your money back, whatever your reason for returning it, as long as it's within the first year. Read their return policy here.

The Womanizer charges via USB, so there are no cords to wrestle with while you're using it.  It comes in a hard case in an unattractive shade of bubble gum pink.

The silicone part that nibbles and sucks your clitoris comes off for easy cleaning, and there's an extra in the case in case you need it. One caveat -- the manual says that you can use silicone lubricant, but you cannot. The tip, which is the part you need lubed, is silicone, so use  water-based lubricant with it.

Bottom line -- Give me that clitoral suction sensation -- I love it. I can get past ugly by closing my eyes.

Thank you,, for sending me the Womanizer.

Sunday, March 15, 2015

SensaVox and Lula Noir Kegel Balls reviewed by David Pittle

ElectraStim SensaVox and Lula Noir Kegel Balls:
 Electro-Stimulation Sex Toys

Guest post by David M. Pittle, Ph.D., M.Div

Erotic Electro-stimulation is the new wave of sex toy. It takes the TENs unit that physicians, chiropractors,  and physical therapists have used for many years and with some modification, applies that to the exquisite nerve-endings of our erogenous areas.

This is new territory for many people. If you’re new to Electro-stimulation, read my earlier post -- “EroticElectro-Stimulation—Reviews of ElectraStim Flick and Erostek ET232” -- for some background information.

Recently, Hella Walkington from ElectraStim, one of the premier providers of electro-stimulation, contacted me about doing an independent review of two new products: the Silicone Noir probes and the SensaVox Stimulator/Power Box. I enlisted my loyal cadre of testers, three men and three women, and we went into action.

 The SensaVox (pictured above) was a source of pleasure for all my testers. For male bodies, it can be used with penis bands and prostate stimulators. Each man tried the box with the penis rings, anal probe and sticky electrodes. Each woman used both probes and electrodes.

The results were amazing. All my testers praised the new Sensavox. Here’s what they loved:
  • The box has a wide variety of pulse patterns and intensities.
  • It has several new features like the Boost button which gives an extra burst of energy.
  • There are two channels so you can have one set of electrodes stimulating one location and a second set stimulating another. For example, an anal probe can be plugged into one channel while two electrodes can be attached to send pulses through the penis and perineum.
Aura probe
The SensaVox has a much greater range than the previously reviewed EM60. It begins with very gentle stimulation but goes up from there slowly until it enters the stratosphere. Even at its highest intense settings, it’s still a pleasurable kind of pulse form and pattern.

The probes are aesthetically pleasing, Matte black with unobtrusive holes for the small pin plugs, they are gentle and soft to the touch, perfect for the sensitive skin of the vulva or anus. The Aura Multi-Probe felt comfortable entering. It took a higher level of stimulation for the tester to experience pleasure. Reinserting with the leads perpendicular to the g-spot location afforded more sensation for the female-bodied testers.

The Silicone Noir Lula Electro Kegel Balls probe provided the peak of pleasure for the women who tested them. Lula consists of two small balls, one of which is tightly captured in an upper sphere of black silicone. There is a short neck and at the other end another enveloping sphere with another ball. The second ball is loose inside and it reacts to the pulses and patterns from the stimulator. With the moving balls providing vibrations, each of the women reported the absolute pleasure of this probe.

Lula is being used as a Kegel exerciser by many women. With the proper depth of insertion and combination of e-stim, Lula can aid in developing the pelvic floor muscles. 

These are just two of the five Silicone Noir probes available. In retrospect I wish I had requested the Silicone Noir Sirius Prostate Massager and the Silicone Noir Ovid G-Spot Dildo as well. They look like they are designed with pleasure in mind!

There is much to like in the ElectraStim line of products. They are user friendly in small ways:
  • They use the standard connector for cables to plug into the Stimulator/Power box. This connector has advantages over the less expensive but often used 3.5mm plug.
  • They use pin plugs at the electrode ends of the cable. This is less messy and, in the midst of passion, simpler than banana plugs or snap connectors. Sticky electrodes are less expensive if they come with pin plug connectors. 
  • I have found ElectraStim customer service to be very responsive. 
If you haven’t yet decided to try e-stim, you are missing a delightful option in your sex life. E-stim should be as ubiquitous as the vibrator. It provides a level of sexual stimulation that is hard to match in a simpler sex toy. While the cost of entry can be daunting, ElectraStim and others provide an entry level power unit for a reasonable price. The probes, penis bands, and sticky electrodes are comparable to other dildo prices.  If you have a little income to spare, you probably can’t do better than the SensaVox. But, if you need to watch the finances more closely, the EM-80 dual-channel or the EM-60 are also good options.

If you are loving yourself, give yourself a gift of the Sensavox. If you also have a partner to love, find the e-stim toys that will bring you together “magnetically.”

ElectraStim is offering our readers a 10% discount by using the code "BTIEE" at ElectraStim's website.

David M. Pittle, Ph.D., M.Div., is a therapist in San Rafael, CA, who has been helping people with sexual issues for over thirty years. Many of his clients are age 50-80, when good sex is important, and dissatisfaction may lead to loss of shared intimacy that can threaten the total relationship. David specializes in helping women who are not experiencing sexual satisfaction and men with non-medical and medically-related erectile dysfunction or other issues. Visit his website here.

(I am sad to tell you that my friend, sex therapist David Pittle died December 2017. We value his sex toy reviews. Read his other reviews here.)

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Daring to Date Again by Ann Anderson Evans

3/11/15 update: This Sunday, March 15, I'll have the pleasure of being on a panel with Ann Anderson Evans called "Never Too Late to Date" at the Tucson Festival of Books. I'm moving this post, originally published 11/13/14, to the top so that you all know about Ann's book and our discussion of safer sex:

When a sixty-year-old, twice-divorced woman starts to date again, she's not pinning her hopes on an invitation to the prom. She is financially stable and professionally creditialed. She is a matriarch, a pillar of her church, a member of a choir. She has children and neighbors who might disapprove. She has a lot at stake.

So begins Daring to Date Again, a lusty memoir by Ann Anderson Evans about looking for romp-in-the-hay partners after 12 years of celibacy.

Evans is smart, sassy, articulate, and a darned good writer, pulling you right into her adventures. You’ll laugh, empathize, and sometimes worry as she jumps into bed with her Mr. Right-for-the-Moment parade. She wears her heart on her sleeve—or she wears nothing at all—and we share her adventures, her thoughts, her desires, and her evolution from repressed and unhappy to evolved, sexy, and joyful.

Evans finds many men who are interested in having no-strings sex with her, but towards the end of the book, she wonders whether true love even exists -- and if so, where is it hiding? I'm not ruining the book by telling you that she meets Terry -- a fellow professor and a bachelor at 63. They fall in love and marry. But that's not until the last chapter!

I enjoyed this well-written book, and I recommend it to you, whether you're exploring sexual possibilities yourself or you just want to share her escapades vicariously.

However! As a safer-sex advocate, I was concerned because there was no mention of safer sex or any discussions of condom use with the men Evans bedded. I questioned her -- no, they never used protection. Then I challenged her to explain her decision(s). She wrote this to me:

Joan chided me for not mentioning safe sex in Daring to Date Again. Logic suggests that simply interrogating a man regarding his sexual health is not sufficient protection, but that is what I relied upon. Why was I more concerned about cleaning the chopping block after cutting up chicken than about having unprotected sex? Why would I maintain the prophylactic habits of regular dental visits and colonoscopies, and yet have unprotected sex? Good question, Joan.

Indulgence was part of it. Pregnancy had been such a persistent worry when I was a young woman that having sex spontaneously was a joy. It was like winning the lottery.

Growing up in the 50s and 60s, I was taught either nothing or nonsense about sex. The bogus teachings were embedded in religion. “Chastity is the cement of civilization,” I read in the Christian Science scriptural companion, the Science & Health, when I was a student in a Christian Science college. I closed that book and have never reopened it.

The nonsense of the times I grew up in was also embedded in school. My only sex education was a couple of gender-divided classes in 7th grade that explained menstruation twinned with the unforgettable fact that when we brushed our teeth we should also be careful to brush our tongues. I was stunned when I got pregnant at 18. I thought I had to want to become pregnant in order to be so.

Between the church and school, I felt manipulated, demeaned, and endangered. Many of those who matured in the 60s rose up in mighty defiance of the bullying traditions of ignorance. In answering Joan’s challenge, I am surprised at my resurgence of anger when I think back.

Perhaps unconsciously, I placed barrier protection during sex in the basket which also included the bogus virtues of chastity, heterosexuality, sitting primly with your legs crossed, wearing a girdle, avoiding nudity, and virginity upon marriage. These virtues are so often ignored that they can only be seen as vacuous wishes. My failure to protect myself was a visceral, instinctive, and senseless act of defiance.

I take responsibility for my own actions, but it would have been helpful if the doctors (including gynecologists) had asked me if I was sexually active during that time. One general practitioner did ask me, and when I told him I had had sex with four men within the last two years he sidestepped the issue, saying, “I think you should talk to your gynecologist about that.”

I sympathize with the doctors. Discussions of sex with patients are probably minefields of religion, politics, family tradition, and personal history. But the medical profession has obviously given up the fight. How often do you see an ad for condoms displayed in your doctor’s office alongside the latest drug for depression or high blood pressure?

I felt embattled during my three years of promiscuity. Not one of the men I was involved with ever mentioned using a condom. If any of them had one in their pocket, they didn’t mention it. Joan might be better equipped to say whether men are just as likely as women to insist on condom use. In my experience, this has not been the case.

The problem of unprotected sex is far more pervasive than that of a single American raised before the Enlightenment. Our failure to identify and rectify the sociological, psychological, historical, and political reasons why people do not use condoms or other barriers has guaranteed that AIDS and other STDs continue worldwide. Saying the answer is education is simplistic. Why we don’t use them is baffling. The reason begins in the outside world of church, school, family, and government policy and all of these play themselves out in the bedroom.

Thank you, Ann, for your eloquent explanation. I can't help hoisting my 4'10" self up onto my soapbox again to remind my readers: Have all the fun you want, but please have it safely!

Ann Anderson Evans - Daring to Date AgainListen to Evans read an excerpt from Daring to Date Again here.