Thursday, October 27, 2011

Zini Ran: A favorite already!

I confess that although I delight in reviewing new sex toys, the more the merrier, I have favorites that I keep returning to when I'm indulging my own pleasure and not blogging about it. The Zini Ran, I'm happy to tell you, became an immediate favorite! Thank you, EdenFantasys sex toys, for sending it to me for review.

 I like the size, the shape, the function, the materials, and the ergonomic design of this lovely pleasure tool. The Zini Ran is designed to be used as either a clitoral vibrator or a vaginal/G-spot stimulator, and it works well for both. The controls are easy to see and use -- they even light up when you press them! -- and you can hold it comfortably even with wrist arthritis. Just be careful to keep your slippery fingers (I assume you're using lube) away from the controls when it's in action, or you could accidentally -- shudder! -- turn it off or change intensity or pattern.

Used clitorally, you can either hold it perpendicular to your body and position the tip on your clitoris, or, as I prefer, hold it against your vulva so that it wraps and cradles the clitoris and surrounding areas. Though I didn't try it this way, the shape would likely work well between partners without getting in the way.

Used internally, it's a joy. It's tapered and slim, and once inserted, you get a feeling of fullness from the bulb-like section (1-3/8" at the widest part) while the slimmest part -- about half an inch in diameter -- sits comfortably at the entrance to your vagina. Women who like penetration but don't find girth comfortable will appreciate the shape and size of this lovely creature.

The vibrations can be mild or strong, not super turbo strong like the Hitachi Magic Wand, but for most, it's impressively strong, especially for a rechargeable vibrator this size. The vibrations feel deep and rumbly rather than buzzy. It's surprisingly quiet -- just a soft, whirring sound, more like the sound of the refrigerator that you barely hear. Internally, it's barely audible.

The materials are top grade silicone and plastic. The silicone is so velvety smooth that you may just want to stroke it for a while. It has a bit of a "drag" (friction is good!) which I found very enjoyable. If it's too much for you, just add more water-based lube.

Zini Ran has plenty of cool features -- patterns which light up in different colors, rechargeable, comes in a pretty box with a nice pouch. I like it a lot and think you will, too!

I love to hear from you and welcome your comments about any sex toys I review, because our experiences are all different, and your experience will help readers as much as mine. (However, if you're a sex toy retailer, I don't permit links that compete with the retailers I endorse, so don't even try -- spammy, highjacking comments and links won't see the light of day.)

Please see my other vibrator reviews by clicking here. Keep scrolling down -- there are many!

Sex toys - EdenFantasys adult toys store

Monday, October 24, 2011

Older women wear lingerie

11/10/2011 update: I did a second lingerie shoot, as I was about to turn 68. See it here.

10/23/2011 update: My goodness, two years after I originally wrote this post on 10/11/09, it continues to be the most often read! Hmmm. Ruth and I are actually planning an update -- a new photo shoot this week, results to be posted as soon as they're ready. My reasons are maybe the opposite of what you might think: No, I'm not fixing to show off a youthful body. Rather, I've aged a lot in the past two years, have stopped coloring my hair, and want to celebrate my authentic self by re-doing this photo shoot. Yes, I'm nervous. Of course I am. But if I keep insisting that we should stand up for what's real at this age and celebrate our aging process, then I have to walk (or pose) my talk . 

"I'm photographing real women in lingerie," Ruth Lefkowitz of Ruthy's Real Meals told me. "Would you be willing to model?"

Wow. A "real woman" I am, all 65 years of me, and I do love lingerie, but I've only worn it for intimate hours, not a photography session.

I'm not shy, I just don't think my 65-year-old body looks as good as it used to. But whose does? And if you can't do something new and outrageous as an older person, when can you do it? "Sure, Ruth!" I said. "And if I love the experience, I'll blog about it."

I loved the experience.

The wonderful people at HerRoom were happy to provide some lovely garments and were enthusiastic about a woman my age modeling them.

We met in a garage converted (roughly) into a photography studio. Ruth made me feel comfortable with her relaxed, matter-of-fact approach to posing me and complimenting me. We had many giggles, too.
Ruth was exuberant about what she called my "curves," and when I expressed alarm that the sags, folds, and puckers would come to light, she reassured me that she was there to capture the beauty in real women.

By golly, I think she did it.
Photos by Ruth Lefkowitz. If you live in or near Santa Rosa, CA, and would like to be photographed by Ruth, please email me and I'll put you in touch.

HerRoom 125 x125HerRoom-Huge Clearance Sale

Lingerie provided by HerRoom Lingerie We Buy For Ourselves

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Spontaneity is Overrated -- Especially at Our Age!

When I give my workshops, I always get startled looks from participants when I recommend that we schedule our sex time, even (especially!) when we're in a long-term relationship. You tell me, "But sex should be spontaneous!"

At our age, we need more time for arousal, and that works best if our arousal time starts long before we're fondling each other in bed. It starts with anticipation: looking forward to our time together, getting heated up on our own with our fantasy of what we'll do together. It starts before we're physically in the same room: leaving notes or text messages or voice mail or even just writing it on our calendar days in advance.

It starts with coming together non-sexually: talking together, bonding through laughter, and especially by doing something physical together: a walk, a bike ride, a yoga class, dancing in the living room. Doing something physical together makes us aware of our enjoyment of our own and each other's bodies, and it gets the blood pumping, which makes for better sex later.

Besides, when have we ever really been spontaneous about sex? When we were young and just discovering sex, didn't we anticipate it for days? Didn't we prepare with fantasies and plans? Didn't we (we girls, anyway) try on clothes, including underwear? Didn't we shower and shave with care, even with relish, as we looked forward to being soft to the touch and sweet smelling with our lover? We've always prepared for sex!

Let's celebrate the pleasures of our slower arousal by scheduling our special times!

Your thoughts?

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

How the Heck Do I Date at This Age?

"How the Heck Do I Date at This Age?" is the title of a new workshop I just debuted in Milwaukee, and I'm ready to take it on the road! I discovered it needs to be a three-hour workshop because it covers so many topics, questions, and interactive discussion.

Here's my description of the workshop:

How the Heck Do I Date at This Age?

 You’re ready to connect for dating, sex, love, companionship – but dating as a senior feels awkward and downright weird. What are the guidelines? How do you navigate online dating and avoid the pitfalls that send potential dates running in the other direction? When do you bring up safer sex, your personal sexual issues, or sex at all? Whether you’re widowed, divorced, or a longtime single, you’ll find this interactive workshop illuminating and fun, and you’ll get to find out how other single seniors meet and mate (or try to). All genders and orientations welcome; sense of humor helpful. Thirty million Americans age 55 and older are single, so welcome to the club with no rules! Joan Price, author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty and Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex – and a widow trying to figure out how to date at her age – leads this workshop.

During this fun-filled workshop, you'll create a list of the qualities you're seeking in a date/lover/sweetheart/mate, because if you don't know what you're asking for, the answer is "no." You'll also write your profile, should you wish to pursue online dating. You'll get plenty of information and honest (polite, but honest!) feedback about your dating situation (or lack of dating situation). By the end, you'll have an action plan and plenty of food for thought. Bring paper and pen or a laptop -- and a sense of humor!

"So where do I have to go to attend this workshop?" you ask. Ah, I don't know yet. Invite me to come to your region to present it, or email me to put yourself on my contact list for an upcoming workshop in the San Francisco/ Santa Rosa, CA area.

10/11 addendum: For use in this workshop, I'm collecting online dating profiles (our age only) that are either terrific, appealing examples or awful, waste-of-space examples. If you encounter either, please copy it without identifying the person except by gender and age and email it to me privately. This isn't about whether the person meets your personal taste requirements -- just whether the profile is a great example of how to write one, or a terrible example that no one would want to answer. Again, do not identify the person even by handle or URL -- this is not about embarrassing people, just giving us content to discuss.  

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

More about Submitting to the Senior Erotica Anthology

Please read my original Call for Submissions before reading this post.

What a response I've received since I posted my Call for Submissions on September 21! Several dozen writers sent me their contact info and author bios to let me know they're planning to submit by the Feb. 1 deadline. Quite a number of these have already emailed me their stories.

As I read through the early submissions, some are indeed steamy and celebrate senior sensuality while acknowledging the realities that are very different from the way sex (and life!) used to be when we were 20, 30, even 45. The best of these stories are provocative, innovative, and beautifully crafted as well as sexy.

But far too many of the stories I've received strike me as youthful erotica with an older chronological age slapped on. No, let's do something truly different here!

Those of you who are over 50, 60, 70 (and I specifically asked for writers over 50) know that our changed and changing bodies, responses, and need for stimulation are not mirrors of our youth. The dynamics of our relationships are different. The contexts of our lives are different. What we find sexy is different. What takes us over the top is different.

I'm looking for erotica that faces and embraces these changes -- erotica that makes us older folks shiver and tingle. Erotica of high literary quality. Erotica unlike what turns on younger readers.

That's what we don't find in the bookstore yet. That's what we want to read! That's why I proposed this project.

If you've already submitted your story and realize now -- reading this -- that you need to craft it further, please email me to withdraw your submission for now, and re-submit it when it's ready.

If you're younger than 50 and won't be turning 50 by Spring 2013, realize that I'll give preference to older writers, because one of the aims of this collection is to give older writers a voice.

And if you already did everything I'm asking for, thank you! I'll be in touch.