Saturday, June 21, 2008

Eye-Catching Thong Worn by 52-yr-old Woman

A 52-year-old woman is suing Victoria's Secret because a metallic ornament popped off a thong she was trying on and hit her in the eye, damaging her cornea, according to

I read the article, then started perusing the reader comments. I stopped in my tracks when I read this:

this woman is to old to be wearin a thong , eeeeeeeewwwwwwwww. what she needs to be wearin is some big grandma underwear. 52 years old is to old to try and look sexy at that age.

It seems I can't go a week without encountering anti-sexual, ageist stereotypes like this. The flying ornament aside, can we focus for a minute on what this reader is saying (with apparent disgust and shock): a woman over 50 is too "old to try and look sexy."

It's what I call the "ick factor": society's view of aging women as either sexless or ludicrous and pathetic if they see themselves as sexy. No wonder women fear aging and do everything they can to hide it, convinced they lose their attractiveness at age 50 (or 40!). They fret that they can't look sexy for themselves or their partners if they have a few wrinkles or their bottoms and bosoms hang heavier than they used to.

I've railed about this before, and I'll keep on railing as long as I keep reading statements like "eeeeeeeewwwwwwwww...52 years old is to old to try and look sexy"!

Friday, June 13, 2008

Trolling for Dates... for Dad

Father and son, they're an odd pair to be enmeshed together in the dating scene.

Bob is gay, 40, erudite, picky, fashion-snooty, and he recoils from dating anyone who resembles him. Joe is 81, a widower, sloppy, grudgingly willing to brush the accumulated trash off the passenger seat for a date (though not willing to turn off the baseball game), seeking a nice, Jewish woman who plays bridge and is willing to do more than hold hands.

Joe sends Bob into a squirming fit by telling him he wants Bob's help answering the personals ads.

Assisted Loving is a thoroughly delightful and funny memoir of Bob and Joe and their dating travails. More, it's a story of how Bob, so judgmental at first that you wonder if he even likes his father, comes to see Joe's deeper qualities -- and his own. Highly recommended.

Of course I must chastise Bob for seeing his father's desire for sex as "unseemly" and embarrassing. Joe had an affectionate, dynamic relationship with Bob's mother, and of course he would want to share this kind of intimacy with someone else rather than stay lonely. (We understand this better than Bob did, I think.) Why should sex be "unseemly" just because Joe has wrinkles, a paunch and a hip replacement, and talks with his mouth full? More power to him if he feels sexual vigor and wants to express it, don't you agree?

If you're a dating, elder dad, this book would be a marvelous gift for your grown kids! Be sure to visit Bob Morris's website, too -- it's very funny.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Please tell me: Why do women bikini wax?

OK, here's the question I've always wanted to ask someone who would answer me honestly -- maybe my readers can help me out: Why oh why do women get "Brazilian bikini wax" treatments?

I understand bikini-line hair removal if you're talking about the hair that shows when you're wearing a bikini. (Duh.) But I DON'T understand why women are waxing the whole pubic area (or creating cute designs). To make sure I wasn't misunderstanding, I went to's Beauty site and read this:

Basically, with the Brazilian, hair is removed in the front, back & everything in between. Most of the time a 'landing strip' is left in the front, but some clients opt for everything removed.

Whoa. "front, back & everything in between"? How can our most sensitive areas withstand this kind of torture? Are women who inherited the perks of our feminist crusade putting themselves through procedures more painful than four-inch heels? Is it for a lover's delight? Is it to -- oh dear -- look prepubescent as a thrill? I don't get it.

Is it an age thing? Something young women do, like piercings (more than earlobes) and tatoos? Is it a fantasy thing? (If so, whose fantasy is it, and where did it come from?)

Call it a generation gap (I'm 64), but I'd really love to understand this. I think it has something to do with sex, though it's hard for me to figure out what. Seems to me that hairless friction would be rough and unpleasant on our tender "front, back & everything in between." And what happens when the hair starts to grow back bristly?

Clearly I'm out of touch. If you have an opinion or experience to share, please comment, whether you're female, male, in favor, against, waxed or bushy. I'd appreciate it if you'd state your age, just so I can get a sense of whether this is an age thing or not.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

"Best of" links added

I've been blogging here since October 2005, and recently I started fretting about the older but still relevant posts disappearing from view unless you look through the category list or the archives.

To resolve this, I just assembled a new page element -- Best of Better Than I Ever Expected (older posts I don't want you to miss!) -- which you'll find in the right-hand column. Please explore and share your thoughts by commenting -- I love to read about your experiences and attitudes from your unique perspective, and I know the rest of our community is interested, too.

If there are any other posts that you'd nominate for the "best of" list, let me know!