Sunday, July 15, 2007

Sexual Desire Then and Now

How would you define and describe "sexual desire"?

Thirty years ago. I would have said, "Sexual desire is a driving urge of attraction. I feel tingling in my genitals, and a feeling of physiological hollowness yearning to be filled. I fantasize touching my lust object, kissing him, discovering (or rediscovering) what he looks like, smells like, what noises he makes, how he makes love." There was an urgency to my desire, a need.

Today, at age 63, I'd answer differently: "Sexual desire is a yearning for intimacy, for touch, for bonding with my beloved man. I fantasize arousing him, connecting with him, becoming joined in intimacy and ecstacy. It is both physical and emotional, though without the electric arousal I used to feel. The sexual urge for me now starts in my heart rather than my genitals and spreads to my whole body, slowly, like a slow-motion wave washing gently over me."

What about you? How would you define and describe sexual desire now, compared to when you were younger?

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