Saturday, March 26, 2016

Let's Talk Louder about Senior Sex

I've been writing and speaking about senior sex for 11 years now. Since 2005, I’ve made it my mission to advocate for and educate about older-age sexuality.

At first, my message was simply this: “Yes, we’re having sex after 60 and beyond, and it can be the best sex ever.”

Then, after many responses  and questions from my readers and the media, my message focused on this: “Yes, aging can bring changes that interfere with having good sex in the ways we used to, but for every problem, there is a solution, and here are the facts and tips that will help you enrich your sex life.”

Despite the growing acceptance of older-age sexuality these days, I still find that huge numbers of people who can use this information are not being reached. So many of you don’t know that there are solutions to the problems that aging brings. My email and workshop audiences and private conversations are filled with sentiments like these:



  • You don’t talk to your doctors about sexual problems that may have medical causes -- or if you do, your doctors don't have good sexual information either, and they're reluctant to talk about sexual issues. 



  • I hear from single people, "I don't have a partner, so I don’t have sex," not realizing how important solo sex is for sexual health, general physical health, and emotional well-being if you’re unpartnered.



  • I hear from partnered people, "We can't have sex the way we used to, so we've pretty much given up," not realizing that sexual expression does not have to mean intercourse or anything else that it used to be. 



  • Often you tell me that you've given up on sexual pleasure and sexual expression -- and this tears my heart. 

  • I implore you to talk out loud about your sexual issues, learn the facts about sex and aging (my books are good resources), and seek out professionals in your community who have made it their business to educate themselves about senior sex.

    If you're working in a sex education or health field, update yourself with the latest knowledge about sex and aging, and reach out to seniors who may not be seeking you out. Make sure that you welcome my age group and have resources for us.

    Readers: what resources would you like to see available or more easily available about older-age sexuality? Have you had experiences trying to locate resources and not finding them? I invite you to join the conversation. You can submit a comment under any first name (it doesn't have to be your real one), and please include your real age. (Email me with the subject header "blog comment" if you have trouble posting your comment, and I'll post it for you.)

    I look forward to hearing from you.

    3 comments:

    1. I'm also troubled by the number of women who have experienced "sex" as something to put up with because their husbands "are entitled," and quit when the husband is gone, divorced, dead.

      ReplyDelete
    2. I bought one of your books in Santa Monica some years ago. Since then, I've shared it with several good friends.

      This is a note I sent to our daughter some time back.

      **For me** sex has always been about the quality of spiritual (transcending the physical) oneness.

      I am not articulate on the subject. I, actually, think I understand it, though.

      Not unlike when you pass another driver on a road, and look at them, and they instantly whip their heads to meet your gaze. There is energy in attention and intentions - that is absolutely perceptible.

      I can touch a woman with my fingers with an intention of simple feeling of pressure or I can add my attention and intention to stimulate her sexual energy.

      She will know the difference.

      Same physical touch.

      The difference is the additional attention and intention.

      back when I was 15-16

      Beth and I would sleep together overnight in her little twin bed

      there was a warm cozy oneness that I had never experienced in my lifetime

      I took that oneness everywhere I went

      my dog and I would do the Vulcan mind melt

      friends, who I had never met before, would lock eyes with me, and we would know, with no reservations, that we were friends, and 50 years later, the truth of that statement is self evident

      What I found had nothing whatever to do with the physical universe, cultures, goals, purposes, etc

      It was a simple sharing of beingness between two people - merging in and out of oneness

      I don’t know of anything more powerful than that foundation of oneness

      ReplyDelete
    3. Hi Joan,

      Congratulations for your work about relationship. I have see it years ago, I was happy with your work. Success and blessings for you and family.

      W. Ricardo

      ReplyDelete

    My readers and I appreciate your thoughtful comments. Please share your views! Comments are moderated, so yours won't appear until I've seen it. Thank you in advance for commenting!

    Some people have reported problems commenting. If this happens to you, please email your comment (with the name under which you want it posted) to joan@joanprice.com, and I'll post it for you.

    Retailers please note: I delete comments that attempt to hijack my readers to a commercial site. If you'd like to advertise, contact me at joan@joanprice.com and I'll be happy to send you information.

    Authors, therapists and sex educators who have helpful information for readers are welcome to post links to their sites.

    -- Joan