Saturday, October 24, 2015

Book Roundup #1: Interviews with Arlene Schindler, Lynn Brown Rosenberg, and J.F. Silver

I receive review copies of many books that the authors and publishers hope I find of interest to you. Even restricting my choices to those that treat older-age sexuality specifically and positively, I'm unable to keep up. So instead of reviewing these books singly, I'm going to do a series of roundups of books aimed at our age group by authors who understand us. This is the first in this series of mini interviews with the authors. Enjoy, and please support these authors who are writing with candor and fire about sex and aging.



Arlene, describe your book and what led you to write it:

Midlife was freeing for me. My novel explores relationship possibilities for single women past 50. I used to say, “My dating pool is so small, soon it will be a shot glass.” If I was lucky, a love connection would last about as long as a good haircut. I knew others felt the same. I wanted to shout out the absurdities of these experiences with a madcap, defiantly spirited outlook. 

Why would my readers want to read The Last Place She’d Look?

Arlene Schindler
Women of a certain age become invisible in our culture. In reality this is the time of life when we become bolder, braver and more adventurous. We’re peaking, and no one is looking. Exploring why we should be noticed, my novel exposes our desires, passions and relationships. 

What drew you to write a story about a woman finding herself attracted to other women on her fiftieth birthday?

Too many women think that if they are not with a man, their life is incomplete. Yet friendships we have with other women grow deeper with maturity. A possible alternative for a world of lonely women who’ve been influenced by outmoded values and religious beliefs, but hungry for appreciation, is being responsive and open to deeper, intimate experiences with women whom we know, love, and admire.





Lynn, describe your book and what led you to write it:

My Sexual Awakening at 70 is about my search for sexual freedom at a later age, and at the same time an exploration of my past and the effect that decades of repression had on me. Despite that upbringing, midway through my journey, I was having the best, most exciting time! I realized I couldn’t be the only woman who had a distressing sexual education or no sexual education, and I thought it could help others.

Why would my readers want to read your book?

Lynn Brown Rosenberg
It is a roller-coaster life about my search for love, self-confidence, creative expression and sexual expression that will resonate with other women of our age. Men also enjoy my book because it gives them hope for the future, and helps them understand women better. Plus, it has erotic stories in it that both men and women can get pleasure from, individually or together!

How has your life changed after writing this book?

It has opened up a whole new world for me. I am now speaking about my journey, writing articles, doing podcasts, writing a monthly column for XBiz.com, and most of all, I love that I'm connecting with people who tell me they've been inspired and empowered by hearing me speak or reading My Sexual Awakening at 70




 J.F., describe the Mr. and Mrs. Average Joe series:

Mr. and Mrs. Average Joe is an erotic series about discovering new pleasures later in life. Joe and Elaine are baby boomers and empty nesters with a healthy sexual appetite. They had fantasized about inviting others into their bed, and one night the scenario presents itself in a ménage with another woman. From here it becomes a polyamorous tale of two sexually adventurous couples. There are three books available and a fourth releases in November 2015.

What led you to begin writing erotica?

I didn’t start writing until I turned 50, nine years ago, when I wrote my first erotic story as a birthday gift for my wife of 30 years. After receiving that first story, my wife began feeding me plot lines and to this day remains my inspiration and muse. Writing hot, arousing tales for my wife turned into a crazy and secret hobby!

How did this “secret hobby” develop into a published series?

J.F. Silver
About three years ago, we decided to try publishing them. It was a challenge to find a publisher interested in an erotic story about a couple in their fifties, but we did it. Before we'll write it, it has to work for us. Being a male author in a field dominated by women, my wife helps me keep the stories "women friendly." 

Friday, October 02, 2015

Maia Twistty Wand: Yes!

The Maia Twistty Wand from LoveHoney.com is an unusual two-in-one sex toy, with two independent motors. Use the "head" end on your clitoris for strong, rumbly, widespread vibrations, or use the "tail" end for buzzier, pinpoint vibrations either on the clitoris or shallowly inserted in the vagina to target the G-spot.

You get quite a variety of possibilities in one lovely vibrator! Each motor offers three vibration intensities and seven patterns. Both head and tail are ridged for extra sensation.


Pros:

1. It's powerful! You know how discerning I am about intense vibrations, and I found the rumbly head strong enough for me on its highest setting. (The motor at the head is stronger than the tail.)

2. The ergonomic design and light weight make it easy to hold, even for those of us with arthritic wrists.

3. It's rechargeable via USB -- no cords while you use it.


4. It's completely waterproof.

5. The material is body-safe silicone with a matte finish, very smooth and comfortable. (Of course you're using water-based lubricant with it.)

6. It's pretty! Mine is a lovely shade of purple, and the controls glow with a soft backlight so you can find them in the dark.


Cons:

1. It's difficult to avoid pressing one of the control buttons accidentally while you're using it, unless you hold it at the end instead of the middle, which defeats the ergonomic benefits. But I don't know where those control buttons could go instead, so I guess we just need to be careful and use a light grip.

2. The so-called instructions are worthless. They tell you how to clean and recharge it and how to turn on 6 different Maia products, but nothing specific to this one. See below for a problem I resolved on my own.


Problem I Resolved On My Own:

Image result for photo of power button
It was obvious from the familiar power icon that the middle control button turns the power on. Press and hold for a couple of seconds and the light flashes. Then it took a minute of experimentation. We're used to the top control button being "+" and the bottom one "-" -- but not this one. The control with a wavy line nearest the head turns on the head's vibrations, and the control nearest the tail turns on the tail's. Of course.

But what if you want to use the head for a while, then switch to the tail? When I did that, the head was still vibrating in my arthritic hand. Ouch. Aha, I needed to power off the vibrator entirely to turn off the head, and then power it on and press the tail's button, right? Although that works, it's a buzz kill to turn it off and start over.

Then through experimentation, I discovered the secret: if you're using the head and you want to switch to the tail, start the tail's motor going then press the head's control for two seconds and only the head's motor turns off -- no need to power everything off, no break in the action.

I know, you only save about 5-10 seconds by knowing the trick, but when our aging bodies make arousal slow and often difficult, keeping the momentum going without a "stop action" is important. So why aren't these steps in the instructions?


Overall Evaluation:

Applause! I get to test a lot of vibrators (I know, tough job, but somebody's got to do it), and I leave many saying, "Eh. It's ok, but nothing special." I don't even bother to review many of those for you, figuring that your time and mine are better spent with the exceptionally good or bad ones. The Maia Twistty Wand, however, is a winner. I look forward to using it often.

And if you don't love it, LoveHoney.com is that rare sex toy retailer that offers your money back, whatever your reason for returning it, as long as it's within the first year. Read their return policy here. Thank you, LoveHoney.com, for sending me the Maia Twistty Wand!