Saturday, April 26, 2014

Miriam Kura's Advice for Shy-When-Naked Women

Miriam Kura wrote me about her experience posing nude for photographs at age 60. Her experience was so empowering and delightfully sexy that I encouraged her to share it with you, along with the steps she followed to become comfortable enough to embrace this racy adventure. 

I invite you to post your comments. Enjoy!
-- Joan

For my 60th birthday, I asked my sex friend if he would take nude photos of me -- this was the youngest I was ever going to be again! We set a date to do it two weeks out.

During that time I looked on the Internet under “nude photos” and got ideas about props and poses, picking out what I thought fit my style – natural and elegant. I collected scarves, pearls, a white boa, a leather jacket, a man’s crisp white shirt, translucent white curtains, gold lace fabric.

When the day came, we had three hours of creative and collaborative fun. He took over 700 pictures! It was like adult arts and crafts. I felt beautiful, sensual, comfortable, sexy, at ease, and appreciated.

It was a gift I gave myself, and he gave to me. And we both enjoyed it immensely. I never could have pulled it off if I hadn’t prepared the year before to fully occupy my nude sexiness in these nine easy steps:

1. Believe your lover when he says that he loves the way your neck/ breasts/ waist/ legs/ butt/ hair/ face/ feet/ whatever looks.

2. Just do it. Look at yourself naked everyday, while you’re doing something else, like brushing your teeth. Get used to it. Blow-dry your hair while naked. Put on your makeup while naked. Make it part of your routine.

3. Go naked until it’s so normal that you don’t cringe any more.

4. Do it until you get curious about how you look at different angles.

5. Look at yourself in the mirror naked and try to see what he sees.

6. Do it until you sincerely enjoy looking at some part of yourself, with pleasure.

7. Walk naked around the house as you do some little chore, like put the wet towel from your shower into the dryer, or when you go to put some music on, or lay out your clothes. Work up to spending more time naked around the house.

8. Take time taking your clothes off when your lover sees you do it. Practice doing it in an unhurried manner. Then practice as though you enjoy him looking at you. Then start to actually enjoy it. Then flaunt it a little while he looks. Then give him a sly, proud, slow smile while you do it.

9. Ask him to take your clothes off – slowly.

This experience showed me that every body looks good from some angle. You just have to find it.  Some pictures were totally not complimentary. But overall we found the angles that worked. It was surprisingly fun to see myself as the art subject.


Miriam Kura, 61, is a business owner who lives in Portland, Oregon. She contributed to the anthology, Ageless Erotica, edited by Joan Price. She is delighted to learn that sex in late mid-life is a whole lot more fun and meaningful than it was in earlier decades. 


  1. Amazingly empowering - a photographer friend asked me to pose for him when I was sixty - it was so much fun! Four years later we are still working together - have learned a lot and now have a lovely portfolio! I gained appreciation for my aging body seen from the perspective of a mature man who found me beautiful and showed me it was so!

  2. What wonderful advice! I tend to try to cover whatever areas of my body I'm least comfortable having show and so far have taken my lingerie and fashion outfit photos myself - an arduous process. It would be nice if I felt more confident and someday, hopefully, I'll have the treat of having someone take hundreds of photos like that. I'll try to remember the nine steps for the future.

  3. Miriam, you are a dear to share this. When dating in my late 50s, I developed a test. When I found a lady I liked and was starting to think about us being lovers, I needed to see them see me watch them naked; more important than seeing them naked was how they felt about themselves. Needless to say, some did not pass the test. One did. I married her.

    I love your list and would add going to a clothing optional spa and sitting by the pool and putting in a journal your thoughts about seeing and being seen. What is love and making love but that? Being yourself naked and loving yourself--so important in a relationship
    -Dan, a guy, 66

    1. Miriam KuraApril 27, 2014

      Thanks, Dan. Yes, I'm a big believer in journaling, for just the reasons you give it. And I love your definition of making love.


  4. I'm wondering to what extent men have a similar issue. I've heard for years that men have a basic "so what" attitude about their physique, au naturale or clothed. But do men have the same reticence to be admired by their lovers while naked? Could we hear a bit what it's like for the other gender?


  5. Men do have similar issues. I was born weighing 250 pounds (Actually both my parents did weight that.) My life has been about my weight. So concern for how others might view my nude body has been second only to how I view it.
    But it has led me to embrace social nudity as a value. I regularly (In warm weather) spend a weekend or so a month at one of our local naturist resorts. I am nude in my home as often as possible, moreso in summer of course, but even in winter, putting on clothing only when I have visitors who are not initiates to social nudity. As often as possible I introduce others to this. I am doing them a service as serious research has shown great positive results in self-esteem in this.

  6. AnonymousMay 25, 2014

    It's a wonderfully liberating and empowering thing to do at any age, to stand naked, proud of your body, whatever shape or form, but like Miriam, I too posed (for a professional photographer who was publishing a Nudes book), when I was 55, the photos taken were in nature which I love. I would do it again as I feel comfortable in my skin, and expressing myself this way is a very sensual experience.

  7. AnonymousJune 29, 2014

    I'm 5'5" and I weigh 108 pounds and have very small breasts. A recent lover asked me if I had had an eating disorder, and when I asked if he thought I was sexy, said no. Nonetheless, we had some terrific sex, although my feelings were hurt and I did not feel comfortable being nude around him. Too many men want women with large breasts - and some of us just don't have them, but we can be sexy anyway.!

  8. OK.... So.... are you going to share - Your photos that is :-) Great set of tips - I have run into a number of women who looked great to me naked, but they would not accept my compliments.


My readers and I appreciate your thoughtful comments. Please share your views! Comments are moderated, so yours won't appear until I've seen it. Thank you in advance for commenting!

Some people have reported problems commenting. If this happens to you, please email your comment (with the name under which you want it posted) to, and I'll post it for you.

Retailers please note: I delete comments that attempt to hijack my readers to a commercial site. If you'd like to advertise, contact me at and I'll be happy to send you information.

Authors, therapists and sex educators who have helpful information for readers are welcome to post links to their sites.

-- Joan