Sunday, June 17, 2012

What You Should Never Say/Send to a Senior Sex Educator, Part 1

I make it easy to contact me via email or Facebook because I do want to hear from you. I love reading your stories, questions, and concerns. 95% of you are totally respectful -- you understand that I'm on a mission of senior sex education -- not titillation or exhibitionism -- and you engage with me on that basis.


But part of making myself easy to contact is that sometimes (rarely, thankfully) I get creepy emails and inappropriate messages.

Here's a sample. They're all real. I couldn't make this up. Names withheld so the writers won't be more embarrassed than we need them to be:


  • "i must say nothing more sexy then some one over 60 nude i just love it. ever get to pa" and later he added, "could i say you would not need that toy" Uh huh, and what have you told me that will make me want to get nude with you in Pennsylvania?  Listen, guys, just because you can type without capital letters and you feel like propositioning someone, that doesn't mean you should. And even if you're God's gift to women, don't presume that you'll replace my Hitachi.
  • "I like what you said tonight. Okay if I send you some drunken, dirty texts?" This was said to me after I gave a bookstore reading. No, thank you, do not send me either drunken or dirty texts, and certainly do not combine drunken and dirty. That will never interest me in the slightest.

  • Do not ever, ever send me a picture of your penis. I like penises a lot. Some of my best friends have penises. All of my lovers have had penises. But that's the thing -- I like penises that are owned by men I like. A photo of a penis all by itself, hanging out of unzipped jeans (as was the one a 22-year-old man sent me recently), will never make me go, "Yum."  

(To be continued with Part 2 soon. I have so many examples that I'd go on for much too long if I tried to fit them all in one post.)

5 comments:

  1. Spare us, please. I've only just had my breakfast.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hilarious! I love the reaction shots of Joan!

    Rae

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJune 18, 2012

    Joan: Just found this blog. I am a Senior. Wondering why I am MORE motivated for sex than I have ever been before. (And by the way, the comments that you shared with us were disgusting....)

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousJune 19, 2012

    Just discovered you and I am an instant fan. I'm a few years under 60 , a cancer survivor and know what it is to fight for a reborn sexuality.

    ReplyDelete
  5. As an introduction to your blog, this was hilarious!

    I imagine that this may just be the tip of the iceberg that you have shared with us - my sympathies !

    Very pleased to make your blogging acquaintance,
    LadyP

    ReplyDelete

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