Monday, May 30, 2011

Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex: preview of chapter titles


I'm thrilled to announce that Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex from the fabulous publisher, Seal Press, is officially out on June 1, 2011!

Each chapter is filled with reader stories and questions, with advice from experts. Read the list of experts here, with links to their websites and books.

Take a look at the chapter titles -- and do let me know which chapter(s) you're particularly eager to read:




Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex
by Joan Price

Introduction

Foreword by Betty Dodson

Chapter 1. The Old Ways Don’t Do It Anymore!

Chapter 2. Reviving Desire

Chapter 3. Sex Toys: Now More Than Ever

Chapter 4. Together yet Alone: Is This My Marriage?

Chapter 5. Talking about Sex

Chapter 6. Off the Beaten Path: Nontraditional Sex Practices and Relationships

Chapter 7. Surviving Divorce, Breakup, Betrayal 

Chapter 8. Sex with Myself

Chapter 9. Unlearning Our Upbringing: Women’s Stories

Chapter 10. Unlearning Our Upbringing: Men’s Stories

Chapter 11. When Sex Hurts: Vulvar/Vaginal Pain

Chapter 12. Reclaiming Sexuality After Cancer

Chapter 13. Erectile Dysfunction: What Men Don't Say Out Loud

Chapter 14. Erectile Dysfunction:  Women Speak Out

Chapter 15. No Way Back: When Your Partner Has Alzheimer’s Disease

Chapter 16. Death, Grieving . . . and Then What?

Chapter 17. Sensuality for Hire

Chapter 18. DWO: Dating While Old(er)

Chapter 19. Safer Sex—Yes, At Our Age

Chapter 20. Better Now than Than Ever: the Joys of Older-Age Sex

Meet Our Experts



To purchase an autographed copy directly from me, click the PayPal "Buy Now" button below. I'll ship immediately!


You can also order now from Amazon.

If you haven't read my earlier senior sex book, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty, I hope you will! It celebrates the joys of senior sex--including my spicy love story with Robert! Order an autographed copy from me here:


  Or order from Better Than I Ever Expected on Amazon. It's also available as a Kindle edition.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

He Said What? book review

He Said What? wins the best title award! As if you couldn't tell what the memoir anthology from Victoria Zackheim is about, the subtitle is Women Write About Moments When Everything Changed.

I've read and enjoyed all Victoria Zackheim's anthologies. She's our age, and she knows the themes that affect our lives and haunt our memories. She has a knack for gathering top-notch writers to share their personal moments, and she's at the top of her game with He Said What?

Victoria Zackheim
The essays are powerful revelations of a moment when something a man said changed how a women saw herself, or made a life decision, or knew a relationship was over. As you'd guess, some of the personal essays (and they're very personal!) revolve around bad boys, bad dates, bad lovers, bad husbands, and bad liars. But sometimes the man uttering the life altering words is a father, a teacher, a doctor, or a brother, and sometimes they're not bad people, just bearers of bad news.

Some of the essays are funny, especially those about the "demented dance of dating," as Jane Ganahl calls it. Some are searing. All are worth reading.

Most of the writers in this anthology are over 50, Zackheim tells me. Sometimes you can tell that from the context of the essay: a 6th grade bathroom in 1964; a miniskirt, tie-died shirt, or Grateful Dead song at 15; marrying a naval officer before he ships out to Vietnam. Writing these essays with the perspective of decades after the pivotal event makes them even more powerful to a reader, especially readers our age.

I'll bet this review is making you think about which "He Said What?" incident you'd choose. Please feel free to comment with your own memory here. Men, "She Said What?" memories are welcome, too!

Friday, May 20, 2011

Sharing Body Heat

"Sharing Body Heat" started as a blog post, then changed and developed into a longer personal essay about love and loss that I submitted to the Modern Love column of the New York Times. Modern Love rejected it.

Then I discovered Modern Love Rejects, a new website with a fabulous idea -- they would publish the best of the essays that Modern Love rejected! "Sharing Body Heat" appears on their website today -- read it in its entirety by clicking here.



Sharing Body Heat
by Joan Price

I crawled into Robert’s bed and wrapped my body around his. If I could only get close enough to make the last hour, the last months, disappear. If I could magically erase the despair, the finality of our separation.

I hugged Robert tightly, my own need to be close to him one more time overriding his lack of responsiveness. I wailed his name and listened to his silence, remembering his murmurs, his words of love. I nuzzled my face into his neck as I had many times before, but there was no warmth, no “I love you, sweetheart,” no kiss on the top of my head, no strong arms pulling me into him.

I covered his thigh with mine, snaking my arm under his pajama top so that I could stroke the chest hair I had first touched seven years before. I willed him to respond.

But he didn’t.

I willed him to come back to life.

But he didn’t.

 "Do you need some time alone with your husband before the mortuary takes his body away?" the hospice nurse asked me gently. I nodded, shut the bedroom door, turned off the light, and crawled into bed with Robert’s dead body....

Read the rest of this essay by clicking here.



Tuesday, May 17, 2011

What did Dean Edell, Candida Royalle, Peggy Brick, and Pepper Schwartz say about Naked at Our Age?

On the back of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, you'll see glowing testimonials from Dr. Dean Edell, Candida Royalle, Peggy Brick, and Pepper Schwartz.

Due to space, those testimonials on the back had to be abridged, but here I can share the entirety of what these amazing people wrote. I'm grateful, even tearful, to see the response this book is getting already!


“At last the void is filled. Hang on, because Naked at Our Age  breaks all the barriers and goes where  ordinary books on this subject dare not….some readers may be shocked and challenged, and others delighted by this  bold, direct,  honest and completely uncensored approach.    An eye opening challenge for anyone who dares to think that sex ends at 60.   The message is clear...as far as sex in the senior years.… the best is yet to come. While this groundbreaking book will have some of you  blushing, you won’t put it down."

- DEAN EDELL MD, Emmy Award-winning host of the Dr. Dean Edell Program, and author of the best-selling book, Eat, Drink and Be Merry. (Scroll down to view Dr. Edell debunking the circumcision of African men to prevent the spread of AIDS.)



"Told through the voices of real people interspersed with great advice from smart professionals, Naked at Our Age is an important resource for anyone who wants to keep pleasure and sensuality in their lives as they move in to their later years. I especially like Joan Price’s warm and supportive tone and her ability to get people to share their stories, from which we learn a lot!"

- CANDIDA ROYALLE, Pioneer of woman-friendly erotica and author of How to Tell a Naked Man What to Do.


"Joan Price tells it like it is, 'The Old Ways Don’t Do It Anymore!' Then, with irresistible enthusiasm, she tackles all the outdated expectations and promotes a plethora of new ways to celebrate sexuality throughout the later years. Poignant quotations from seniors aged 50 to 90 illustrate the distress caused by the common sexual problems of aging. Succinct responses by professionals describe a rich variety of alternatives. 'Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex' is exactly what we do in my course, 'Older, Wiser, Sexually Smarter,' so Naked At Our Age will be the perfect text.

- PEGGY BRICK, M.ED, CSE, President, Sexuality and Aging Consortium at Widener University; co-author,  Older, Wiser, Sexually Smarter: 30 Sex Ed Lessons for Adults Only


"Naked at our Age is a terrific book for adults of any age-- but especially written for Baby Boomers and beyond. I loved the mix of voices- personal stories, various expert's advice- and no sugar coating anywhere- just facts, feelings, and how to have fun. There is plenty of advice - from dating to safer sex-- but most importantly, the impact of the book is as much inspirational as it is educational.  Reading this book will help women and their partners  understand their sexuality better, negotiate what they want more successfully,  and make it more likely that sex will be a comfort and thrill their whole life long."

- PEPPER SCHWARTZ, PHD  Past President of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, author, Prime: Adventures and Advice about Sex, Love and the Sensual Years


Order an autographed copy directly from me -- be sure to let me know to whom to autograph it -- by clicking the PayPal button below...




Or order from Amazon here.

=====

If you are a Dr. Dean Edell fan, as I am, you've heard his arguments against circumcision. In this video, Edell debunks circumcision as AIDs prevention in Africa:

Friday, May 13, 2011

Did you tell your story in Naked at Our Age?

I've emailed all of you whose stories appear in Naked at Our Age and all our experts about receiving a copy of the book. Several emails to my interviewees came back as undeliverable. If you should have received an email from me but didn't, please email me now with your updated address. I hope you see this!

If you aren't in the book but you sure want to read it, yes, it's available now! Read about it on my website here and in previous blog posts here.

Order an autographed copy directly from me -- be sure to let me know to whom to autograph it -- by clicking the PayPal button below...




Or order from Amazon here.

I am thrilled by the compelling reader stories and the immediately helpful advice and action tips from our experts. I know you will learn plenty and enjoy it thoroughly!

Sunday, May 08, 2011

Meet the Experts of Naked at Our Age

Meet the Experts
of
Naked at Our Age:
Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex
by Joan Price 

Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex is unique because it presents real people, ages 50 to 80-plus, telling their stories and describing their sexual challenges, with immediately helpful tips and solutions from top sexuality educators, therapists, and medical professionals.

I am indebted to these experts for contributing their valuable advice. I encourage you to read their books and explore their websites to see what else they have to offer.



Isadora Alman, MFT is a board-certified sexologist, California-licensed relationship therapist, and author of Doing It: Real People Having Really Good Sex. Her Ask Isadora advice column has appeared in news weeklies worldwide for more than twenty-five years. Visit her website at www.askisadora.com.

Lori Anafarta, MA, LAMFT is the clinical director and founder of Beyond Diagnosis Counseling, LLC, in St. Paul and Forest Lake, Minnesota. Visit her website at www.BeyondDiagnosisCounseling.com.

Megan Andelloux is a board certified sexuality educator (AASECT) and sexologist (ACS), who lectures at colleges, works as a gynecological teaching assistant and runs The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health in Pawtucket, RI. Visit her website at www.ohmegan.com.

Charles (Chip) August is a Personal Growth and Couples Intimacy Coach, host of Sex, Love & Intimacy, an internet radio show, and author of Marital Passion: The Sexless Marriage Makeover. Visit his website at www.chipaugust.com.

Ellen Barnard, MSSW is a sex educator and counselor on topics of aging and sexuality, cancer and sexuality, and facilitating intimacy at the end of life. She is the co-owner of A Woman's Touch Sexuality Resource Center, www.sexualityresources.com.

Libby Bennett, PsyD and Ginger Holczer, PsyD are clinical psychologists and coauthors of Finding and Revealing Your Sexual Self: A Guide to Communicating about Sex. Visit their website at www.psychobabbledocs.com.

Violet Blue is the author and editor of more than a dozen books on sexuality, including The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus: How to Go Down on a Women and Give Her Exquisite Pleasure. She is a sex educator who lectures at universities and community colleges. Visit her website at www.tinynibbles.com.

Sage Bolte, PhD, MSW, LCSW, OSW-C is an oncology counselor at Life with Cancer®, an Inova Health System service in northern Virginia. Visit the website at www.lifewithcancer.org.

Stephanie Buehler, PsyD is a licensed psychologist and sex therapist, and director of The Buehler Institute in Irvine, California. Visit her blog about sex and intimacy at www.theblogerotic.com.

Michael Castleman, MA is the author of twelve books, including Great Sex: The Man’s Guide to the Secrets of Whole-Body Sensuality and Sexual Solutions: For Men and the Women Who Love Them. Visit his website about sex after midlife, www.GreatSexAfter40.com.

Michele Cauch, MA, MSW is the executive director of Toronto-based SageHealth Network, www.sagehealthnetwork.com, an agency promoting seniors’ sexual health and positive aging. Visit her blog at www.seniorsex.blogspot.com.

Glenda Corwin, PhD, author of Sexual Intimacy for Women: A Guide for Same Sex Couples, is a clinical psychologist providing gay-affirmative psychotherapy and sexual-intimacy workshops for women who partner with women. Visit her website at www.drglendacorwin.com.

Carol Denker is the author of Autumn Romance: Stories and Portraits of Love after 50. Visit her website at www.autumnlove.org.

Barb DePree, MD is a women’s health provider specializing in menopause care in West Michigan. She founded MiddlesexMD to help women enjoy sexuality for life, offering clinically sound information, practical advice, and intimacy aids. Visit her website at http://middlesexmd.com/.

Jed Diamond, PhD, author of Male Menopause and Mr. Mean: Saving Your Relationship from the Irritable Male Syndrome, is a psychotherapist working with men and women over forty. Visit his website at www.MenAlive.com.

Betty Dodson, PhD, artist, author, and sexologist, has been a voice for women's sexual pleasure and health for more than three decades. Her books include Betty Dodson: My Sexual Revolution, Sex for One: the Joy of Selfloving, and Orgasms for Two: The Joy of Partnersex. Visit her website at www.dodsonandross.com.

Dossie Easton, a long time player on the San Francisco S/M scene, is coauthor with Janet Hardy of several books on BDSM, including The Ethical Slut and When Someone You Love Is Kinky. She is a licensed psychotherapist in private practice. Visit her website at www.dossieeaston.com.

Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD, MSEd is a certified sex educator and the author of several books, including Sultry Sex Talk to Seduce Any Lover, Better Sex Guide to Extraordinary Lovemaking, and The Hot Guide to Safer Sex. Visit her websites at www.yvonnekfulbright.com and www.sensualfusion.com.

Francesca Gentillé is a clinical sexologist, relationship counselor, and contributing author to The Marriage of Sex & Spirit. She hosts the Internet radio show, Sex: Tantra & Kama Sutra. Visit her website at www.lifedancecenter.com.

Charlie Glickman, PhD is the Education Program Manager at Good Vibrations. He offers workshops and classes on a wide range of sexuality topics including sex-positivity, sex and shame, and sexual diversity and practices. Visit his website at http://www.charlieglickman.com/.

Joe Hanson is a life coach, grief and loss counselor, and the author of Soaring Into Acceptance: Moving through Change and Loss and into Acceptance. Visit his website at www.lifelessons.info.

Gerald Haslam is the author of eighteen books, including Grace Period, a novel about prostate cancer, and the editor of eight anthologies. Visit his website at www.geraldhaslam.com.

Ken Haslam, MD, leads workshops educating senior citizens to be comfortable about their changing sexuality. He is a ten-year polyamory activist who founded a collection of polyamory archives at the Kinsey Institute, Indiana University, Bloomington, Indiana.

Dr. David Hersh is clinical director of The Hersh Centre for Sexual Wellness. He is a sexologist, psychotherapist, and marital therapist in private practice, with offices in Calgary, Alberta; Nelson, British Columbia; and San Francisco, California. Visit his website at www.sexualwellness.ca.

Anne Katz, RN, PhD is the author of Woman Cancer Sex, Man Cancer Sex, and Breaking the Silence on Cancer and Sexuality: A Handbook for Health Care Providers. She is the sexuality counselor at CancerCare Manitoba in Canada. Visit her website at www.drannekatz.com.

Susan Kellogg Spadt, PhD, CRNP is a vulvovaginal pain specialist and Director of Sexual Medicine at the Pelvic and Sexual Health Institute of Philadelphia, www.pelvicandsexualhealthinstitute.org.

Daniel Kuhn, MSW is Community Educator for the LIFE Institute of Rainbow Hospice and Palliative Care, based in Park Ridge, Illinois. He has authored or coauthored more than fifty publications, including Alzheimer’s Early Stages: First Steps for Family, Friends and Caregivers.

Erica Manfred, divorced at sixty, is the author of He’s History You're Not: Surviving Divorce After Forty. Visit her website at www.heshistory.com.

Michele Marsh, PhD is a certified sex therapist and licensed psychologist practicing at the Council for Relationships in Wynnewood and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. She works with people of all ages and uses EMDR for trauma resolution.

Susana Mayer, PhD is a board certified clinical sexologist with a doctorate in human sexuality. Her Ageless Sex Life™ is a philosophy and program of techniques to assist with sexual drive/desire issues. Visit her website at www.SusanaMayer.com .

Laurie Mintz, PhD is a licensed psychologist, professor at the University of Missouri, author of A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex: Reclaim Your Desire and Reignite Your Relationship, [] and a tired woman who has regained her once-lost passion. Visit her website at www.drlauriemintz.com.

Loren A. Olson, MD is a board-certified clinical psychiatrist, recognized as a Distinguished Life Fellow by the American Psychiatric Association, and author of Finally Out. Visit his blog for mature gay men at www.magneticfire.com.

Lou Paget is the author of five books, including How to be a Great Lover and How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure, translated into 28 languages; CEO of Frankly Speaking Inc.; an AASECT Certified Sex Educator; and a regular media expert on all things sexual. Visit her website at www.loupaget.com.

Carol Queen, PhD is a writer, speaker, educator, and activist with a doctorate in sexology. She is Staff Sexologist at Good Vibrations, and founding director of the Center for Sex & Culture. Visit her website at www.carolqueen.com.

Marnia Robinson, science journalist, is the author of Cupid's Poisoned Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships. Visit her website at www.reuniting.info.

Candida Royalle, known for pioneering the genre of woman-friendly erotic films and the Natural Contours line of intimate massagers, is the author of How to Tell a Naked Man What to Do. Visit her website at www.candidaroyalle.com.

Rebekah Skoor, MA, MS, iMFT is a professor of Sexuality Studies and Counseling in San Francisco, California. She also counsels individuals, couples, and families, specializing in relationships and healing from interpersonal trauma. Visit her website at www.rebekahskoor.com.

Jeane Taylor, LCSW, a psychotherapist in private practice in Santa Rosa, California, has been helping people for more than thirty years.

Tina B. Tessina, PhD, “Dr. Romance,” is a licensed psychotherapist and author of thirteen books, including How to Be a Couple and Still Be Free and The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again. Visit her website at www.tinatessina.com and blog at http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog.

Yolanda (Landi) Turner, EdD is a therapist who specializes in online relationships. She is a professor at Eastern University (St. Davids, Pennsylvania) and Widener University (Chester, Pennsylvania). Visit her website at www.drlanditurner.com.

Rabbi Ed Weinsberg, EdD, DD, specializes in reigniting intimacy after cancer. He is a prostate-cancer survivor and author of Conquer Prostate Cancer: How Medicine, Faith, Love and Sex Can Renew Your Life with Robert Carey, MD. Visit his website at www.ConquerProstateCancer.com.

Diana Wiley, PhD is a board-certified sex therapist, clinical sexologist, marriage and family therapist, and gerontologist affiliated with the Seattle Institute for Sex Therapy, Education and Research. Visit her website at www.DrDianaWiley.com.

Myrtle Wilhite, MD, MS is a physician and epidemiologist who specializes in prevention strategies to help maintain sexual health and wellness. She is the co-owner of A Woman's Touch Sexuality Resource Center, www.sexualityresources.com.



Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex is now available! Order an autographed copy directly from me -- be sure to let me know to whom to autograph it -- by clicking the PayPal button below...




Or order from Amazon here.




Saturday, May 07, 2011

Mr. Evasive and the date that didn't happen

A year ago, I knew I wasn't ready to date yet (see grief posts), but I wanted to start getting social and meet new people. I was planning a week in New York City for a conference, so I decided to explore finding a few dates for my time there.

I joined OK Cupid and perused the NYC options. I emailed several.

Most weren't interested in meeting with someone from across the country who wouldn't be a relationship possibility, but a couple were intrigued. I ended up meeting one man for a gym workout and a walk. (Tthat's my kind of date!) There were no sparks between us, but it was pleasant.

What I really want to tell you about is the date I did NOT have. I'll call him Mr. Evasive.

Mr. Evasive's profile was appealing and we had plenty in common -- both writers, dancers, teachers, readers, exercisers. We had a jaunty exchange of emails, and finally agreed to meet during my trip. But he never gave me his real name (just his handle) or his phone number. Whoops. I kept asking.

Finally, I'm in NY and he's emailing me plans for our meeting. I replied that he still hadn't told me his full, real name, and that was a prerequisite for meeting.

He admitted that his profile was not completely honest. He shrouded anything identifiable because he needed privacy -- he was "sort of famous" in his profession. He suggested that we meet in at Grand Central Station and he would produce ID and let me phone his workplace for confirmation. But only after we meet in person.

Here are excepts from his long response:
  • I am older than my stated age.
  • I'm better looking and better educated than I present myself, and younger in ways that matter.
  • I am on a site that any felon can get on with any gender age or whatever, looking for ID's to steal.
  • What you write includes fun, instructive, examples of stories from real people. I do Not want to be one, OK?
My response? Exactly what you'd expect:

No, it's not okay that you won't give me your name until we meet (that's completely against my personal requirements for dating, even for dating once). No, it's not okay that you tell me you've posted lies but I should believe you. And I'm a professional writer who writes personal experience, so I don't agree not to write about you if we meet. I think it's best not to meet after all.

Now I'm planning another trip to NY in July -- should I try again?

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

I-Vibe Rabbit: "It's not you, it's me"

"It's not you, it's me," I said to my I-Vibe Rabbit, a dual-action vibrator made by Doc Johnson and sent to me for review by the nice folks at SexToyFun.com. There's a lot to love here, but it's not my perfect toy.

I loved the shape and cuteness of this vibrator. I liked that the shaft has a penis head and isn't too girthy, and the clitoral part (shaped more like a dolphin than a rabbit, though vibrators of this type are called "rabbits") is flexible.

But for other reasons, this toy won't be one I reach for often.

It's a handful -- 10 inches total length (5.5 of that is insertable) -- uses 4 AA batteries, and becomes a bit heavy for arthritic wrists when we need to keep it going for a long time, as we seniors do.  That may or may not be a problem for you -- it was for me. It made me wonder why we weren't designed with longer arms, then I wouldn't have had to extend my reach and crook my wrist to hold it properly angled. Like I said, it's me -- if you have longer arms proportionate to your torso length, you'll wonder what I'm talking about.

Another problem for me was the "pearls" that rotate in the shaft. This initially seemed like a good idea -- the penis head rotates (it seems to wave, actually, very cute) and the pearls jump around. But before long, the pearls were irritating. Fortunately, the clitoral and shaft vibrations have independent levels of intensity, but even at the lightest level, the pearls became unsexy, and I ended up turning off the shaft vibrations altogether.

The control panel that looks complicated is actually easy to use. There are three different functions: F1 vibrates the clitoral stimulator (I'll call this part the "ears") fast and rotates the shaft. F2 vibrates the ears slowly and swings the shaft front to back and side to side. F3 pulses the ears and rotates the head and reverses directions. Each function can be powered to go faster/more intensely or slower/less intensely.

Don't worry if all this seems to be too much to figure out -- just try pressing buttons, and find what you like. If you're operating this vibrator in the dark, you'll get a laugh from all the lights -- I felt like air traffic control guiding the I-Vibe home. I didn't manage to capture the light show in the photo, but it's showy.


The I-Vibe is supposed to be waterproof, though I didn't try it in water. Let me know if you try it in the tub. (I don't have a tub, so I rely on my readers for this and much more!) As with all vibrators, be sure to remove the batteries when not in use.

Thank you, SexToyFun.com,  for sending me the I-Vibe.