Thursday, November 10, 2011

Older Women Wear Lingerie Revisited

  I wrote "Older Women Wear Lingerie" in 2009 about my photo shoot at age 65 with photographer Ruth Lefkowitz. It was a liberating experience, both during the shoot -- I had no idea how much fun it would be to disrobe and flaunt my underwear in front of a camera! -- and afterwards, when I viewed the photos.

Two years later, I knew I looked older. Grief ages us, and I could see it in my face. I had stopped coloring my hair. My skin was looser, more wrinkly. My thighs and fanny were bigger.

But I felt beautiful, because I've really internalized the message I keep communicating to you:

We don't have to buy into our youth-obsessed society's view that only young, firm, fertile bodies are sexy and alluring. We are beautiful, handsome, sexy at our age.

That statement is true for you, too, no matter how many wrinkles or extra pounds you see in the mirror. It doesn't matter.

If you accept yourself, enjoy yourself, and feel sexy within, it will show. 

Ready to walk my talk (or pose my talk, more accurately),  I approached Ruth about doing a repeat of our photo shoot, with new lingerie, a new attitude, and two more years under my belt -- I mean camisole.

She said yes. We did it two weeks ago.

Again, I loved the experience. We laughed, we romped, I posed, she clicked the camera.

 I am delighted to share our photos with you today, on my 68th birthday.

If you live in Sonoma County, CA, and would like to talk to Ruth about doing your own lingerie photo shoot, please email me and I'll forward your email to her.

As always, I welcome your comments! How would you feel about posing in lingerie?

Ruth Lefkowitz is fascinated by how the camera captures spirit, beauty and style in a magical instant. She especially enjoys photographing the female figure--a subject of art through the ages--to create images that capture and preserve a bit of a woman's inner life. In her day job, Ruth is the chef and owner of Ruthy's Real Meals, a high quality, organic and locally sourced meal delivery service in Sonoma County, CA.


  1. Fantastic post and photos, Joan. You really DO get better with age, because you BELIEVE that you'll get better.

  2. Holy smokin' Joan! Your message is important. Thank you for setting a beautiful example.

  3. what a wonderful way to celebrate you on your birthday! may you have many more marvelous ones!!

  4. You look wonderful in those photos. It must be nice being the subject of a beautifully done boudoir photoshoot. I've enjoyed getting in front of a camera in lingerie in the past but had been getting more self-conscious about doing so more recently, and am not good at taking the photos by myself. Your words offer encouragement. I should be less harsh on myself about my aging out of shape physique. I know I won't be getting any younger putting it off, but have felt discouraged. Your post is a very positive one.

  5. GORGEOUS PHOTOGRAPHS! I'm inspired!!

  6. Applause! and a big grin - beautiful, simply beautiful.

  7. Great photos! And bold plan!

  8. I love this post and I'm sharing with my fans and friends online.

    Have I told you how happy I am that you are in my world lately?

    Much love and admiration.

    Catherine Toyooka

  9. Joan, what a wonderful post in celebration of your birthday. Hope the birthday was as much fun as the photo shoot. You look marvelous! What's even better is your marvelous attitude. Love, Sally

  10. Wow, I love mature women who haven't given up on their beauty & sexuality.
    I wish more women your age would think like you do because there is nothing sexier than an older woman who loves to look and feel sexy.

  11. apologies but im having very naughty thoughts at those pictures. you look delicious to me.

    women get better with age

  12. so beautiful and vivacious. It must have felt so liberating and joyful to feel free open and sexy in allowing your feminine essence and sensuality shine. I believe all women are beautiful at any age if they believe it and allow it to exude and radiate from their inner being, thank you for such a wonderful open hearted and fun sharing of yourself Joan woohoo sexy mama!

  13. Where do you BUY that lingerie in a big size???

  14. Anonymous, I suggest you find a local lingerie specialty store and ask about lingerie in your size. You probably won't want to order online since you can't try it on for fit. Let us know what you find!

    1. Try the chains started by Chystal at Curvy Girl in San Jose. Great Classes here, too; great lady. And interesting Internet storm kicked up here:

  15. Wow! I do feel beautiful but I'm nervous and feel observed by my partner when I'm naked... I know, cause he told me so, he liked me more when I was younger, really hurt me that comment.
    My respect for you. I would like to feel confident and sexy as you are!

  16. HOT! You are one gorgeous woman. The photos of you in lingerie inspired this 60+ guy to think frisky thoughts!

  17. I think you could actually do more playboy-esque type poses, these seem very safe. Dancing has obvioulsy done your body good all these years, which is a true testament to keeping active and exercising regularly. You have now made me look forward to being 60! (in about 20 years...) Excellent work here!!

  18. Anonymous, I did the lingerie shoot for my own body acceptance and to empower my sense of my sensual nature, not to titillate others. I don't get feelings of empowerment from either viewing or mimicking "playboy-esque" poses. I do thank you for your compliments, though.

  19. Ronald MessierAugust 15, 2013

    I love the pics of you wearing lingerie. You look so wonderful in these pics. I too have naughty ideas when looking at them.

  20. Ray Garland . Joan , I love looking at a positive , alive older woman . I happen to admire strech marks , Wrinkles , A little celulite, ect ... They are the story of your life, the rite of passage and not something to be ashamed of . Keep up your positive self image . More men should accept the beauty of the experianced woman .They should also look in the mirror at them selves and see that they have also changed from the youth that they aspire to be in thier minds . We all change and it should be celebrated and not be dicouraging . Live for what tomorrow brings . We dont have that many tommorows left , so enjoy the ones God give us .

  21. Joan,
    how did I miss these pics on your blog? You are WOW beautiful; hair, wrinkles? I'm 66; what I see is an age appropriate hotty. 68, 69, no matter. If I could get a hall pass I'd run off with you!
    as to Anonymous Jan. 17. "feel observed by my partner when I'm naked..., he (said he) liked me more when I was younger, really hurt me that comment."

    Don't take it personally. We guys are stupid. Heck, we liked OURSELVES when we were a bit younger! That's the point.
    Watch Moonstruck and what the character Olympia Dukakis plays, how she tells the men in her life: "Death is coming. We are all gonna die. Deal with it."

    Google Eros and Thanatos: One million hits. Next time he something stupid about aging, make him read 1,000,000 links.
    Ignore what the dumb ass ...and love him. It's not about you. I love my wife's wrinkles. Mine? Not so much.

  22. I love the photos, love your attitude, and the enjoyment that shines through every shot. Thanks!

  23. My wife has just turned 60yrs. young and we went to Greece to celebrate it !!. I had many playboy type photos taken of her and she looks sensational. She really enjoyed it and the attention of the Male photographer whom complimented her all the time !! recommend it to all !!

  24. AnonymousJune 06, 2014

    Let me tell you how fantastic you look. I had my first sexual experience with a woman in her 40's when I was 18. I'm in my 40's now and only date women over 60. Older women are the best!!!


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