Tuesday, February 15, 2011

"How do I know what I want? " Choosing your first sex toy

Joan surrounded by toys at Good Vibrations
On another site, a woman of our age wrote,

I went into an adult sex shop for the first time and I was so confused that all I could do was make a quick lap around the store and get out of there as fast as I could. How in the world do I know what I want?

 I answered there, and am repeating myself here in case more of you have this question. Being a sex toy reviewer at ease with toys, including handling them in a store, I don't want to forget that many women (and men!) our age are not accustomed to sex toy shops or even to sex toys in general! Here's what I said, and I welcome your comments: 

Sexuality shops can be intimidating first time around! Thre are so many types/sizes/shapes/functions of sex toys these days that it's understandable that you'd be intimidated. Once you get to know what you like, you'll appreciate the variety. Until then, though, educate yourself in these ways:

1. Read some "first timer" articles such as "Why to use and how to choose vibrators" from A Woman's Touch.

2, Figure out what kind of vibrator you want: clitoral? vaginal? both? strong? mild? Does noise matter? Shape? Size? Do you want waterproof?

3. Then read reviews of various vibrators that fit your specifications. Of course I recommend my own plentiful reviews because they're written from a senior perspective. You can find them here. (Keep scrolling down to "older posts," because I've written many of them!")

4. Once you've found a few that entice you, read more reviews by Googling the name of the toy + "reviews" and you'll learn more. Different reviewers have different likes and dislikes, so once you find a reviewer whose choices (and reasons for choices) you like, keep following that reviewer.

Now you're ready to return to that sex shop -- or shop online -- and you'll feel much more at ease! A good, woman-friendly sex shop has staff ready to assist, so try to get past the shyness and ask questions. Believe me, you'll never come up with a question they haven't heard many times before!

Hope this is helpful,


  1. I agree with doing online research, but I'd have to recommend touching, feeling and handling toys too - ie in a shop.

    Sometimes sizes of toys can surprise, or texture. And you need to know the vibrations are strong enough to work for you.

    If there's a female owned/run/managed shop near you, definitely go there. They are a growing breed and really keen to make sure you make the right choice for you.


  2. I agree, Amy, and I should have said that myself. Thank you for adding good information to this discussion.


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