Women write to me that after a long period of celibacy, they find someone they want to have sex with again. Often they didn't think they would discover love/lust again after so many years. Their elation dims when they discover that they've become too tight for intercourse, or it's too painful.
There are several reasons that vaginal pain can happen (which I discuss in my new book, Naked at Our Age, coming in June 2011). With age, especially if you're sexually inactive, the vaginal tissues thin and there's less blood flow to the genitals. Without vaginal penetration and/or regular orgasms and internal stimulation, the pelvic floor can lose its ability to relax, and in its contracted state, the vaginal opening feels too tight to admit a penis or a larger-than-slim sex toy. If this is your situation, please download this Vaginal Renewal program from the wonderful folks at A Woman's Touch sexuality resource center, and put it into action for the sake of your sexual health and future joy.
Part of this program is at least one orgasm a week (you don't need a partner for that!) and internal massage using vibration. Yes, really. Internal massage with vibration brings blood flow to the vagina and helps strengthen the tissues. If you're so tight that insertion hurts, vaginal dilators will help. These are more wands than dildos, starting very slim and progressing in graduated sizes as your body adapts and is able to accept more.
It used to be a hassle to even find vaginal dilators, but now there are two different styles that are easily obtainable and will fill your needs:
The Berman Vibrating Dilator Set is a set of four graduated dilators that fit like nesting dolls over a base with a dial to control vibration, from very mild to moderately intense. You can start with the slimmest, which tapers from 12/16" to 14/16", and build up over time to 1-1/8", 1.25", and 1.5". You get all four sizes in one package for $46. It also comes with a stretchy, nubby sleeve that is supposed to increase sensation. (The sleeve didn't do anythng for me, but you might like it.) Thank you, Good Vibrations, for sending me this set for review.Both brands do the job very well. If you need super slim, the Oasis has the thinnest. If you don't have a problem with tightness and you like a fuller feeling, the Berman set has the thickest.
Using dilators is a process for your own sexual health and the health of a relationship you might have now or in the future--and it can be extrememly pleasurable, besides! For optimal pleasure, pair your dilator with a clitoral massager (see an array of reviews in my other sex toy posts here).
Posts
3 comments:
I bought the Berman from Good Vibrations -- it did help me dilate passively but when I used the two larger attachments as vibrators it was WAY TOO LOUD, like a two-stroke engine! I sent it bsck for replacement but GV sent it right back to me with a smug little note saying I was wrong. So beware the Berman and GV customer service. I won't order from them ever again.
Anonymous, did GV say you were wrong about it being noisy, or wrong about that being a defect? It is loud. I hope you'll tell me what the note said. I know that GV would want to know that their customer service was unsatisfactory, so please give me more details, either here or privately to joan@joanprice.com. Thank you.
On this toy, the attachments stack on top of each other to make it bigger. If you use it with all the attachments on properly, the vibration will transmit though the attachments better and the noise of the toy will actually be a little quieter then with the attachments off. However if you use the 2 biggest attachments by themselves without the smaller ones under them, the hollow space will cause an echo and the toy will be VERY loud. Hopefully stacking all the attachments together as intended will solve the problem! Either way, we'll make sure Anonymous is satisfied.
Post a Comment