Online dating -- it works for many of us, not so well for others. Sometimes you just have to laugh at the profiles some people post. Lucky for us, two women, Tonya and Michele, who aren't yet 50 but are close enough to love this blog, assemble the funniest lines from men's online dating profiles. Their "WTF Dating Profiles" are posted weekly at http://alanandmichele.com/, which is otherwise a site for "adult product reviews," FYI.
Here's a sampling of their finds and their commentary -- do read them all when you need to laugh.
“Last girlfriends from here weren’t good so I’m doing things very differnt this time. This time I’m looking for a very honest girl who is really down to earth.”
T&M: This makes us wonder what he was looking for before. A compulsive liar who was a space cadet?
“I guess I am a middle aged man looking for a long term relationship, but until I find it I am looking for whatever I can get. Not really into the one night stand thing but it has been too long.”
T&M: Well that’s comforting. If he doesn’t like you he’ll still screw you since it’s been so long since he got laid.
“I am a man! A real man, I burp I fart and if it itches I scratch it!!!”
T&M: How fascinating. We’re wondering how many dates that gets him?
“I don’t mind a woman who has no goals since I don’t have any either.”
T&M: Now what lady *wouldn’t* want this guy? He’s 38 years old, so you could spend the rest of your life going nowhere with him.
I'm sure Tonya & Michele have a lot to do viewing men's profiles and choosing their weekly picks without roaming into our age group to help us choose, so let's help each other. If you're over 50 and you've viewed either men's or women's (let's not leave out the other half of the population) profiles online, share your favorite line from your least-favorite non-match. Use the "comments" below or email me and I'll post it for you. (No fair identifying either the profile's handle or the name of the site, ok?)