Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Sex Toys for Older Men

Oh, no! I was writing the Sex Toys chapter of my new book, Naked at Our Age, filled with wonderful stories and lively, helpful tips, when I realized that all the advice addressed women! I knew better than that. Sex toys can be wonderful pleasure assists for men, too, especially men our age.

I contacted the best person for the job -- Charlie Glickman, PhD, Education Program Manager at Good Vibrations. Within a day, he had written "Sex Toys for Older Men" and sent it to me. What a guy. He knows his toys, and he knows the needs they fill.

We agreed that this information is too important to keep it under wraps until Naked at Our Age comes out in Spring 2011, so we're rushing it out to those of you who can use it. "Sex Toys for Older Men" was published first in Good Vibrations Magazine, then here, with Charlie's permission.

Sex Toys for Older Men
By Dr. Charlie Glickman

We’ve been getting some inquiries lately about sex toys for older men. I think it’s great when guys start exploring their sex toy options, and there are plenty to choose from.

One of the most common questions I hear from older men is “can a cock ring make my erection harder?” And the answer is “sort of.” Cock rings work by trapping blood in the penis, so they sometimes make one’s erection firmer or a bit larger while wearing it. Many men like the squeezing sensation that cock rings provide and they can also make orgasms more intense. Some men find that rings make them take longer to orgasm and others find that the extra sensations make it happen sooner, so you’ll need to experiment. Cock rings can be worn during solo sex or with a partner- if you want to use it during penetrative sex, you may need to move the snaps to the side so they don’t irritate your partner. And it’s worth noting that if you’re concerned about erection difficulties, it’s worth getting checked out by a sex-positive doctor first. With some medical conditions, cock rings can actually cause damage! Please read our info and safety tips here.

Sleeves are another great way to explore different ways to play, on your own or with a partner. If you tried one years ago and were disappointed, you should know that the technology has improved a lot. Some are pre-lubricated and disposable (great for traveling), others are high-tech with inner workings that are designed for maximum pleasure. There are silicone models, which are easy to clean, and elastomer versions, which are less expensive. Using a sleeve with a partner is a great way to add a little fun, especially when health issues or other concerns limit the kinds of sex they can do. Plus, it can be lots of fun for partners to watch you pleasure yourself and put on a show for them.

Let’s not forget how much fun prostate play can be! While some men have concerns about anal play, I always point out that where your nerve endings are has nothing to do with sexual orientation. And lots of guys have discovered that prostate massage feels great and can even help an reduce the size of an enlarged prostate. We have lots of prostate toys like the Aneros, the Naughty Boy, and the Pro Touch. If you’re curious, check out our info in exploring anal play and prostate play basics.

Although some folks have the idea that sex toys are just for women, I think it’s great when men let go of that and discover how many options they have. After all, that opens up plenty of new possibilities for you to experience pleasure, so don’t hold yourself back. You may be surprised at how much you enjoy them.

- Charlie Glickman, PhD, is the Education Program Manager at Good Vibrations (www.goodvibes.com). He offers workshops and classes on a wide range of sexuality topics including sex-positivity, sex & shame, sexual diversity and practices.


  1. How do I measure for a cock/ball ring?

    1. Most are stretchy; the others are adjustable with snaps. Check out "cock rings" in the Good Vibrations link above, and you'll see the variety. You put them around your penis and testicles while you're soft - then blood can flow to the penis but not as easily away from it.


My readers and I appreciate your thoughtful comments. Please share your views! Comments are moderated, so yours won't appear until I've seen it. Thank you in advance for commenting!

Some people have reported problems commenting. If this happens to you, please email your comment (with the name under which you want it posted) to joan@joanprice.com, and I'll post it for you.

Retailers please note: I delete comments that attempt to hijack my readers to a commercial site. If you'd like to advertise, contact me at joan@joanprice.com and I'll be happy to send you information.

Authors, therapists and sex educators who have helpful information for readers are welcome to post links to their sites.

-- Joan