Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Mini-tongue? I don't think so!


What a great idea -- a sex toy that replicates a tongue. The Mini-Tongue looks a little like a giant tongue, pink, squishy, a little nubby -- and I suppose a tongue could move like it moves. But there the resemblance ends.

The problem is that it's really weak. It has three speeds, but the "low" is barely there, "medium" is "low" (a little wiggling), and "high" is "medium" (light flicking). Pressing the tongue harder made it slow down rather than intensify.

OK, real tongues are soft and gentle, and that's great. but this isn't a real tongue -- it's a vibrator. Since it's not attached to a loving face -- no lips to kiss, no eyes to gaze into mine -- then it should do what a vibrator does well: vibrate.  

The Mini-Tongue has an optional bullet attachment in case you like some insertion. That's a good thing -- the bullet is much stronger than the tongue. In fact, with the bullet inserted, that was all I felt.

Usually, if I try a sex toy that doesn't work for me, I look for ways it might work for others. Maybe, in the case of a particular rabbit, the dimensions are wrong for me, but might be dandy for someone else. Or maybe a vibrator just isn't strong enough for me, but most women don't need the launching power I do.

But I can't find anything good to say about the Mini-Tongue, except that this sorry attempt at replicating a tongue makes me laugh. I'm sorry, but I can't recommend it unless you're looking for a way to entertain a party. For example, if you stand it up on a hard surface and turn it on, it walks around in a circle. Now that's fun!

Thank you, TabuToys adult toys, for providing the Mini-Tongue for me to sample. It just doesn't suit my taste, so to speak. But TabuToys is a cool site for sex toys, so I hope my readers will explore other toys there.

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