Friday, February 26, 2010

Want to pee standing up, ladies?

When Sex Toys at Babeland. offered reviewers a sample of the Go Girl, I jumped up and volunteered. I remember as a child envying little boys who could pee outside without dripping all over themselves, as I did if I crouched in the bushes. (This only got worse as I matured, I found.)

I grew up thinking it would be fun to have a penis, so much easier to take hikes and bicycle rides. The opportunity for poison oak/ivy was also much less with a penis to pee with, and you didn't need a toilet paper substitute like that old, linty tissue in your pocket.

Plus boys could just turn around and take 10 seconds, and they were done, while I had to find a safe, private spot, take down my pants, and end up peeing on my sock,  rolled-down pant leg, or thigh.

As an adult, I could be found frequently hovering over public restroom toilets, not daring to sit even with the slim paper protection of the seat covers. I developed my quadriceps nicely through aerobics and step classes, but gosh, wouldn't it be nice if I could just stand up and pee?

Other than that, my genital configuration has always suited me just fine -- although I sometimes said to Robert, admiring his splendid, masculine attributes, "I don't know how you get any work done. If I had one of those, I'd play with it all day."

Back to my new toy. The Go Girl is not a penis substitute, but it is designed to let my woman parts pee standing up. It's a very flexible (too flexible, but we'll get to that in a moment), rubbery, silicone thing with a sort of ear trumpet shape -- a big cup-like shape at one end and a spout at the other.

I have to admit I haven't mastered the Go Girl yet, but I'm having so much fun with it that I couldn't delay my review just because I'm a klutz. I had the sense to get in the shower for my first time, and all went well.

The second time, I made several mistakes:

1. I didn't pay enough attention to the instruction page, which explains how to hold and how not to hold it. I was holding it wrong and it fit loosely, no "seal" which is supposed to happen at the back. 
2. I thought I had mastered it enough to stand facing the toilet and aim. 
3. I needed to pee really badly. I didn't think about that translating to the amount of pee trying to pass through the narrow spout.

OK, do I need to spell it out? The rush was too great for the Go Girl's small spout, the thing collapsed, and I splashed all over the place. Fortunately, I was home, so no public restroom was sacrificed to my experiment.

Hey, it's a novelty item. It's not meant to save the world. But it is fun, and maybe I'll master it well enough to take it with me on a hike or a visit to a truly scary public restroom. Not yet, though. Recommended for the fun factor, and a cool, inexpensive ($12) gift for a woman who enjoys the great outdoors, even those parts that don't have rest rooms. 


Thank you, Babeland., for the opportunity to review the Go Girl!





4 comments:

  1. Wow, Joan. I would have to say that may be the most unusual gadget I have ever seen. I look forward to a follow up blog once you have mastered it and let us know what you think.

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  2. This is the second time I've read that the flow was too strong for the Go Girl to hold it! Doesn't sound like it would work for me, then.

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  3. I love these! I remember being at an outdoor event and having to show drunken women how to use them, it was hilarious. Particularly when one girl tipped it the wrong way and soaked herself... oops :P

    But once practiced they are unbelievably easy to use. Its all a matter of getting over the performance anxiety and pacing yourself.

    Thank you for this article x

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  4. Hi Joan, ive been looking for this kind of thing, since one of my relative need this thing.she cant pee normally i mean she cant seat to toilet bowl.due to her accident. thanks a lot for the reviews.

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