Sunday, September 06, 2009

I love your emails -- most of the time

I love the thoughtful emails you write me. You share your experiences, opinions, questions, and reflections on aging and sexuality.

Often I write back asking for permission to post your comments here on this blog and/or in my upcoming book, so it would be handy if you could let me know in the first email if that's okay with you. I am always looking for ways to help others with the information I learn, and your emails often trigger a new topic or a new perspective on an older topic.

I also love seeing new comments pop up on this blog directly from you. (See these instructions for how to comment if this is new to you.) Your comments are valuable to my other readers as well as to me.

One kind of email I don't respond to, though, is the "you're hot, want to have sex or trade naked photos?" or the masturbatory fantasies that sometimes float into my inbox. I don't mean the spam that we all get and delete quickly -- I mean emails from people who demonstrate that they have read this blog, they like the discussions (especially about younger men/older women). It always surprises me that as seriously and respectfully as we talk about senior sex here, that still happens.

I guess it shouldn't surprise me. After all, if I'm discussing sexuality so openly -- even reviewing vibrators from a senior perspective, for goodness sake -- I can see how some readers might take that as an invitation to offer their services.

Robert used to tell me I was too trusting: I always believe people are sincere and doing the best they can to communicate unless someone proves otherwise in an obvious way. He used to worry about some of the emails I received. I just worry about whether I should answer them and explain why their approach will not help them find a relationship, or decline to answer.

1 comment:

  1. I think you should ignore the emails in question. You don't have time to answer every email you get in person, right? Why spend time on the unwanted propositions? The people writing them likely already know they're not appropriate, and just want some attention. I think if you respond at all, some people will interpret this as interest on your part, ironic as that may be.

    My mentor used to say to me "don't engage" when I would complain about unwanted attention of all kinds, not just necessarily sexual in nature. I don't think we have to respond to everyone who attempts to communicate with us.

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