Saturday, July 25, 2009

Online Dating Sites for Seniors?

7/25/09: I'm updating this post from two weeks ago with new information -- see end of post.


I hear and read both delightful and icky stories from readers who are using online dating sites. Have you met people this way? Has it worked for you? What are the highs and lows of this new world of dating opportunity?

I hear from readers that both men and women notoriously post outdated photos on their profiles, understate age and weight, overstate financial stability and looks, and so on. At the other end of the happiness bell curve, I hear from readers who instantly (or after 3 dates) had great sex and/or found a love connection with someone they met this way.

Let's get specific -- which sites do you use, or have you used, and what have your dates been like? Which ones have a lot of single seniors to choose from? What are the pros and cons of the sites you've used? Inspiring stories, funny stories, worst-date stories -- I welcome them all. I'd like to hear from single seniors and elders so that the information is targeted to my readers, and please name the site.

I'm also looking for a volunteer posse who would like to report back on an ongoing basis as you look for matches, email, meet, and date (or not). Email me if you'd like to be one of my confidential reporters.

Note: Please don't comment here in order to advertise a site you operate or work for. Instead, if you're affiliated with an online dating site, please email me with all pertinent info rather than commenting here. I promise I'll respond and look into what your site offers.


Update: "Granny B" is a 69-year-old widow "looking for one last Love." she writes a funny and informative blog titled GrannyBoogies on the highway of life chronicling her adventures in online dating. Although at first she didn't identify the sites she's using, instead giving them pet names like "Silvermatch" and "fishyfishy," her July 24 post -- "Granny's adventures in cyber date land or somewhere out there..." -- tells which six online dating sites she has used: e-harmony, Senior Match, Plenty of Fish, Senior Friend Finder, BBW and Cupid. She shares wisdom and caveats, such as this:

Beware of guys who are "legally separated" and don't post a photo of themselves. Watch out for profile names (you usually don't use your real name for your profile, I am Granny Boogies, Granny B and NVHeart on my profiles). If you find a profile name like 694U or Buttlover, you might want to take a pass. You also might want to skip the profiles without any personal information, where the answers are "just send me a message". Watch out for guys who take photos of themselves in their bathroom. Keep a sense of humor, remember men are both wonderful and strange. Use common sense, first dates in a public place and let someone know where you are. Yes, we are grownups so let's use our grownup smarts.

7 comments:

  1. Hey Joan, I look forward to hearing what you find. I personally found my partner online when I was 55 and that was six years ago and we're still very together.
    I hope you're well,
    Sue

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Joan,

    I concur with your advice completely. It was surprising to me at first how many men wanted to cam naked. Not something I want to indulge in. Looking for a face to face friendship that can develop into something more, is difficult to find. It's a different world than the one I grew up in for sure. Men my age (70) are looking for women in their 50's or younger it seems. Barbara

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Joan,

    I am thrilled to hear that you enjoy my musing. I wrote the latest post with your readers in mind which is why I dropped the faux names for the various dating sites. I am learning as I go and am very happy to share what I learn. Your male readers need to keep in mind that there are as many scams waiting out in cyber land for them as there are for women.

    So I continue on my adventure...been listening to Rod Stewart's Great American Songbook. "Where is that someone to watch over me?"

    Light & Love
    Granny B
    http://grannyboogiesonthehighwayoflife.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. BraveHeartMiamiAugust 21, 2009

    I'm divorced at 53 and in the dating pool and have met quite a few ladies online through match.com, plentyoffish.com, and okcupid.com. Had a couple of decent relationships result... Maybe I'll send you a story about one of my crazier experiences one day ...

    ReplyDelete
  5. BraveHeartMiami, we'd all love to read your stories!

    -- Joan

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hi Joan,

    I would love to be in contact with MiamiBraveHeart or any of your readers who would be willing to share stories. I have more comments about my adventures in my new post. I am at a point where I am finding the "process" of online dating as interesting as the contacts. Maybe this weekend I will get on the net and see what I can find in terms of any academic studies/papers re online dating. By the way, check out the new granny.

    Light & Love

    Granny B
    http://grannyboogiesonthehighwayoflife.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. My first husband, Bob, died at the age of 49 of sudden cardiac arrest on the 4th of July. I was alone for 23 years, dating off and on, but never finding the "right" one.

    Finally in my 60s, I placed an ad on Yahoo Classifieds and had several interesting emails, but the one that stood out was from a gentlemen about a half hour from my home. We emailed back and forth and finally decided to meet in person at his home.

    Things went well, and after a year, we married in a family service at his home. Walter was a retired Navy Captain, 35 years of service, and was a caring and loving individual.

    We both suffered health problems which we dealt with, but Walter passed 12/27/05 at the age of 84. He was laid to rest at Arlington National Cemetery in a full honored military funeral. When the time comes, I will be with him.

    It is possible late in life to meet the "right" person. I did and I miss him every day.

    ReplyDelete

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