Thursday, November 06, 2008

Lovemaking Tips for Seniors: Funny or Insulting?

A reader sent these Lovemaking Tips for Seniors to me -- I don't know where they came from, though if you know, tell me -- I believe in crediting the author always. Please read them and my question to you at the end:

Lovemaking tips for seniors

1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

6. Keep the polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.

8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.

10. Don't even think about trying it twice.

(This was sent [JP's note: in the original e-mail] in large type so you can read it.)

Now tell me -- are these tips funny? Are they insulting -- one more example of how our society stereotypes and ridicules seniors who are enthusiastic about sex? You tell me.

In my view they're clever, yes. But knowing how devastating it is to elders who lose their sexual ability without losing their emotional need for sex and intimacy, the tone is cruel. Or am I just a fuddy-duddy with no sense of humor about sex and aging? Educate me, readers. And please put your age on your comment so I see if the reactions are different for older readers.

12 comments:

  1. Funny (well, some of them) and not insulting in my opinion, and I am a man nearing 60 with no sex life worth mentioning.

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  2. Yes, moderately funny, and not insulting in my opinion. I am a man nearing 60 with no sex life worth mentioning.

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  3. Well, they are funny, but you have to not take them seriously. Certainly they exaggerate issues all of us face. I think that's what humor does. The older we get, the thicker the skin needs to be to let the negativity roll off. As (I believe) Bette Davis said: "Old age ain't for sissies" But that doesn't mean we can't have fun!

    We're talking all things romance at the Dr. Romance blog.

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  4. The down side of having a free society is that anyone can say just about anything they want to about any group of people. Even though this means we might have to hear stuff like this, I wouldn't trade freedom of speech for a bunch of sticky rules about what's okay to say and not okay to say.

    The upside of a free society is that we don't have to pay a lot of attention to insulting jokes and comments, and we don't have to live by them.

    I think not taking it personally is good advice. I also like that Bette Davis quote, "Old age ain't for sissies."

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  5. I agree, we must have a sense of humor on this ride we are all taking. I believe this time in my life is one of the most exciting I've ever had. Most important to remember ~ enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

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  6. The tips are humorous, however, I just turned 70, and after becoming a widow 2 years ago and being celibate for the last 17 yrs of my marriage, I am now enjoying the best sex of my LIFE!!!

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  7. I think this list is insulting and humiliating. At 60, I'm struggling to recover from a terrible divorce and find a partner to help bring color back into my life. This includes trying to feel sexy despite my age, and I don't doze, don't wear dentures, and don't forget people's names. The only item I found mildly amusing was the "Turn off all the lights!" one--I think a lot of us can relate to that. (I'll admit I'm having a bad self-esteem day, but even on a good day I would find this list not-funny.)

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  8. Thanks for your comments, everyone. I must admit that Eve's feelings are the closest to mine. When we are portrayed as wrinkly, feeble-bodied and feeble-minded dolts who can't remember why we're even trying to have sex, it insults those of us trying to get society to recognize our wisdom, strength, and, yes, sexuality.

    Keep those comments coming!

    -- Joan

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  9. I think it all depends on how much sense of humour you bring to the list when you read it. If my wife did not make fun of me, I dont know if I would ever laugh hard! lighten up - these are funny!

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  10. I'm 26 and I think they're offensive. They're too blatant to be funny. Well, except for 8. That's funny. And possibly 9.

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  11. In reading through these again six months after posting them, I still don't find them funny. My skin isn't thicker as I age, it's thinner -- both literally (I bump my arm lightly into a table corner and start to bleed) and figuratively.

    I'm glad I posted these "tips" to get your reactions, though!

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  12. Okay, guys, some of us think they're funny and others find them offensive. So be it

    But can we agree that it's okay to make fun of ourselves, even if some people will laugh and others will cringe?

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