Friday, March 14, 2008

Are religion and sexuality compatible?

Are religion and sexuality compatible? They are for Susan, age 43, who recently wrote me about her sexual “discoveries and awakenings” and the role of religion in her life:

Although I am one of the 40-somethings, I am thoroughly enjoying your book. Even at 43, I have discovered joys of sex with my husband that I never dreamed of before! Your book is inspiring me to look beyond my own stretch marks and dimpled backside and focus on the positive. My husband has always complimented me on how I look, but now that I am more experienced and more excited about the joys I am discovering, he now thinks I'm really sensual!

We attend a class at our church dealing with marriage, and our pastor's lectures on marital sex are also sparking my interest once again. My husband is thrilled, as am I!

I am finding it sad that I cannot talk about my discoveries and awakenings with anybody else. It seems that our culture has made women believe that sex is just for men, that women are tired of it, and they just don't want to be bothered by it any longer. Our pastor has made it clear that sex is meant for pleasure for both men and women. But the women I know would really balk at the idea that they can truly enjoy sex.

I have only one friend (who, by the way, is a Bible study leader) who comes right out and says that married women should be the sexiest women of all, and that we should relish, cherish, and grow our sexual relationship as a gift from the Lord. I hope that more women discover this.

The teeny-bopper twigs that pass for sexy in the media are ridiculous. I am so much more wise, experienced, and fulfilled now than I ever have been.

Thank you for your book. It is as affirming to me as I know it is to the target audience.

Susan, what a wonderful message! I am thrilled that you are enjoying my book so much, and I love your assertion that sex and deep religious conviction can be completely compatible. We hear so much about the role of religion in controlling women’s sexual expression that it is powerful and refreshing to read your viewpoint and that of your Bible-study-leader friend.

For my readers: Do your religious beliefs and background support or battle your sexuality? I’d love to hear from you.

No comments:

Post a Comment

My readers and I appreciate your thoughtful comments. Please share your views! Comments are moderated, so yours won't appear until I've seen it. Thank you in advance for commenting!

Some people have reported problems commenting. If this happens to you, please email your comment (with the name under which you want it posted) to, and I'll post it for you.

Retailers please note: I delete comments that attempt to hijack my readers to a commercial site. If you'd like to advertise, contact me at and I'll be happy to send you information.

Authors, therapists and sex educators who have helpful information for readers are welcome to post links to their sites.

-- Joan