I just got an email from Dean, who describes himself as "a very active 70 year old" from Kansas. He asks this:
Joan: I have had sex with ladies 40 to 74 in the last ten years. However I am diabetic and take pills for high blood pressure, so due to those two items I am as you guessed, impotent to the Nth degree. I have had and given oral sex to several partners but I feel like they feel that this isn't normal. My question, I guess, is, does granny really like this or is it that she feels, well, that's all he can do? Can you come up with a ball park figure in percentages of the lassies that do and don't get excited about oral sex? I have known ladies that were extremely sexual but would have nothing to do with oral. Is this very much the way granny thinks? Joan, I love the ladies and they like me, but what's a relationship without a little pandering?
Dean, I imagine our readers will have plenty to say, but let me start out by saying that calling a woman with whom you want to have sex "Granny" or "Lassie" just isn't sexy! I don't know how you interact with these women, or what you call them during pillow talk, but your wording here makes me wonder!
As far as whether older women like oral sex, there's no percentage I can give you. I can tell you that the better the man is at giving oral sex -- the more he tunes in to the sounds and movements that show him what she likes -- the better she'll enjoy it. That means not developing a one-technique-fits-all approach, but gathering many skills and the most important skill: being attentive to her cues and responding to them.
I'd like to recommend a book to you, Dean, and to every man who wants to understand better what a women enjoys during oral sex: She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman by Ian Kerner. This book is clever, practical, and full of tips and techniques guaranteed to help any man become a better lover!
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Well, a couple years back I met a diabetic man in his late 50s who was seperated from his wife. He was impotent from the diabetes but his wife wanted him back and he had TWO girlfriends who loved him. Decorum prevented me from asking what his secret was, but I strongly suspect it was a proficiency at oral sex.
ReplyDeleteI am now in my fifties, but I have had plenty of granny sex. I prefer contemporary women or younger, but for casual or convenient relations I enjoy the maturity, safety and honesty of older women.
ReplyDeleteIn my anecdotal experience, older women raised before the sexual revolution have less probability of performing or enjoy doing oral sex. Now, some older women definitely do like to do it. But they are in the minority.
A lot have repressed feelings. Many are diffident about technique. Some older women are repulsed by it. Some have had gauche or abusive husbands that forced oral on them.
A few of my granny friends had had straight husbands not interested, so they were eager to try it out. A couple were embarrassed by oral-genital contact, but paradoxically derived a great deal of satisfaction from anal intercourse.
In oral, like all sex, in addition to the sensuality there is a power exchange involved. Who is in power during the act of fellatio I don't know. (Scant women, uptight and upright, disdain cunnilingus.)
Older women who apprehend the full physical and psychological pleasure of oral will enjoy it, and do it. And "enjoy," is probably the key word. Because if there is no enjoyment, it's not going to be good for either party.
Some grannies are as oral and tactile as a dead fish. Others love to please, and would rather perform oral than receive pleasure.
Women in general, and grannies are like snowflakes - all are constructed and wired different. Psychologist Dr. Toni Grant used to say, "You don't have to sleep with someone to know what they are like in bed." And I thought in the main that was true.
But it has been my experience that some church going, salt of the earth, conservative, socially moral grannies turned out to be ravenous, don't-spill-a-drop nymphos.
Now these are a rare species. And I'd like to think that their comfort and lack of inhibition owes to me being a semi-nice guy with insight and caring.
Having said that, I have been aghast when hearing the stories of several wonderful older women who have been physically and verbally abused earlier in life. Domestic violence is very real, and I was naive to it.
Women are the superior sex. They are more loving and compassionate. If you give a woman attention and love, she will give you back a lot more in return. That's their nature.
Love begets love, and sometimes one gets lucky and the sex is really good. Even with grannies.
My wife of 46 years and I are both over 65, and enjoy both cunilingus and fellatio along with vagnial sex. Neither of us has any real desire to explore anal conections after all these years, and frankly, I am neither firm enough nor big enough
ReplyDeleteto make that practical.
I almost always go down on her during a session, and she absolutely loves my (left hand) manipulations of her clit ... the "express route" to her orgasms it seems.
Once she "gets there" a time or two, I am usually so hot that penetration, slow and then faster sex and a climax follow. If however my "mind is not quite into it" and a climax eludes me, my lover climbs on top and gives me fantastic head, which drives me up the wall until I come,and she drinks in every last drop with a huge grin on her face!
I can't imagine much more fun, ... except maybe when we find a moderately "risky" place to make love, like in the car on an old gravel road to farmland, or on our lakeside dock at 2:00 AM ... followed by wonderful skinny dip!
Heck Yes, Oral Sex in Both Directions is a Big part of the fun for us.
My wife and I, both in our 60's have intercourse about once every two or three weeks. I very much enjoy going down on her, although for reasons I'm not sure, she will only enjoy it for a while, asking me to stop and penetrate her. She did surprise me the other week though and gave me head - something she hadn't done in 20 years. Although I haven't persuaded her to do that again, and can't get her to masturbate me with enthusiasm (something I'd really enjoy), when we have straight sex, she will caress my scrotum and play with my testicles until I orgasm, and to me that's heaven... so I can't complain.
ReplyDeleteBoth of are in our sixties. At times penetration comes difficult either for non-erection or for her dryness of vigina. She likes me going down and as ever she enjoys the finest orgasm licking her clit.Once she get heated up she loves masturbating me. Yes, "Granny" likes it!!
ReplyDeleteWe're in our early 70s and and enjoy oral sex. My wife has, over the years, developed a willingness and enthusiasim for giving BJs. I have always loved giving her oral sex.
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