I‘m often asked in media interviews for tips for great senior sex. Here's what has worked for me:
1. Communicate. Tell your partner what you're feeling, or not feeling, and describe what would make sex better or more comfortable for you. Your partner wants to understand and please you.
2. Take lots and lots of time. We need more time to become aroused and make the delicious journey to the crashing waves. Set aside a couple of hours so you have time for the full experience, from the first kiss to the afterglow cuddle.
3. Find positions and props that enhance your comfort. A special shaped pillow like the Wedge and a silky lubricant can make all the difference in comfort!
4. Explore erotic helpers. I wrote a whole chapter on sex toys in Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex after Sixty, including divulging my favorite.*
* I didn't go into more detail about my favorite in my Suddenly Senior column, but I'll tell you here -- it's the Eroscillator. Click on the photo below to visit the Eroscillator website. You'll have to read my book to learn just how this magical machine enhances our love life -- though if you ask, I'm likely to reveal more here!
I also talk in this column about how sexual expression can be an affirmation and celebration of life when dealing with a severe, even catastrophic, illness:
Many of you are familiar with the love story I tell in Better Than I Ever Expected about my romance with Robert.
Since the book was written, two major events in our lives happened: Robert and I got married, and Robert had six months of chemotherapy to treat his leukemia and lymphoma (happily now in remission).
Each chemotherapy treatment left Robert sick, depressed, and exhausted. Then, as he started to come back, he wanted to make love."I sought to be whole, not damaged by cancer and chemo, celebrating the source of life," he told me. "I needed to feel alive and well, not just a 'survivor.' I wanted to express myself completely through this body that felt violated."
I'd love to hear from other people who have had similar -- or different -- experiences.