If you've read Better Than I Ever Expected, you know the story of my relationship with Robert. From the details you've read, you probably know the two of us very well!
It is our great delight to tell you that on May 24, 2006, we married.
With great joy,
(Photo by Robert's son, Mitch Rice -- thank you, Mitch!)
Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
1. Don’t date until you’re really ready—go out with friends, go dancing for the pleasures of physical touching, have friends of both genders to whom you can talk honestly and deeply.
2. Engage in activities you really enjoy where you’ll meet other people (friends or potential dates) who also like your favorite activities, like hiking, book discussion groups, and dancing.
3. Try online dating. Some people have great luck with it. Others don’t. Keep in mind that people often describe themselves inaccurately and sometimes even lie about their age, their looks, their finances, and their emotional stability.
4. Meet new people for coffee or a walk in a public place. Don’t go on a “date” before getting to know him/her.
5. When you do go out on a real first date, be sure a friend knows where you’re going and with whom. Call your buddy when you get home.
6. When you’re ready to have sex again, use condoms every time. Don’t believe someone who tells you, “I’m safe, we don’t need to use condoms.” If she/he’s willing to go to bed with you without protection, then how many other people has she/he done this with? It’s a hassle, sure, but it’s a myth that only young people are at risk for HIV or other STDs.
I was interviewed by Jennifer Margulis, author of Why Babies Do That and editor of Toddler: Real-life Stories of Those Fickle, Irrational, Urgent, Tiny People We Love. She turned the interview into a marvelous feature story for Healthy Life, a quarterly health supplement to the Greenfield Recorder which circulates to about 50,000 readers in Massachusetts and Vermont.
The article is not available online, but here are some excerpts:
Fitness writer and former high school English teacher Joan Price has finally found her calling. At 62, Price now identifies herself an “ageless sexuality advocate.” What’s that? A spokesperson for the sex life of aging Baby Boomers.
Her advocacy has come in the form of a 269-page book, just released from Seal Press, “Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty.” The book is divided into 15 chapters—everything from “Plug In, Turn On: The Quick Version of Everything You Need to Know about Sex Toys” to “When You or Your Partner Can’t.” Price also includes advice for spicing up long-term relationships, reentering the dating scene, fitness over 60, and other topics.
The book is a celebration of sex by a woman who writes frankly about her own sexual awakening over the years... “Juicy is an attitude,” Price writes in a chapter entitled, “It Ain’t Easy After Menopause,” “… based not on the flow of our vaginal secretions but on physical well-being, emotional state, mental attitude, and love of sex. Here’s to post-menopausal zest—and understanding lovers!”
The idea for the book came out of the relationship she was having with an understanding lover....
“I went looking for good sex books, both fiction and nonfiction, specifically aimed at my age group. I was surprised - and turned off! - by how few of these books existed, and how dry and unsexy most of them were,” she says. “Some were much too academic to bring into the bedroom, many were outdated, and some were supposed to be titillating but weren’t—at least to us.”
So Price decided to write the book she wanted to read.... And her book—which is full of exclamation points and positive affirmations about ageless sex—reads like it was written by a woman on a mission.
Price’s mission is to celebrate, enhance, and affirm the sex lives of women (and men) over 60.
...Of course, sex after 60 isn’t always easy, as Price is the first to admit. In Better Than I Ever Expected Price includes a chapter about when one partner or the other is not able to be sexually intimate. She also talks honestly about the changes wrought on women by menopause and on men by aging, gravity, and prostate dysfunction.
... “Our hormonally deprived bodies challenge us with less lubrication; thinner, less resilient vaginal tissues; and often less physical sensation,” she admits. “Our bodies are slower to respond, and we may have more trouble reaching orgasm.”
Some of Price’s solutions to our body’s changes? Lubricants, vibrators, a sense of humor, and a very patient, loving partner.
“Sexual response is in our brains more than our genitals,” Price insists. “My lover and I are as turned on by each other as a couple of teenagers, but with the juicy addition of decades of life experience, self-knowledge, communication skills, and a ense of humor.”
She says sex over 60 has made her both adventurous and accepting: “We’re willing to experiment and stretch our boundaries. Men will be relieved to learn how accepting most women are about men’s changes and how to have great sex even when some parts aren’t cooperating.”
Throughout the book Price includes quotes from women who took her survey—women in their 60s who are having great sex. It’s a pre-selected group, which Price herself points out. When she sent out a call for interviewees she stated she was looking for “sassy, sexy women, age 60+ to share feelings and experiences openly and anonymously” so any women who didn’t fit that description would not have responded.
...If you’re looking for great sex over 60 but not yet having it, this book might make you feel rather alienated and depressed (wow, all those folks out there getting their groove on, where’s mine?). But maybe, just maybe, it’ll get you into your first sex shop purchasing your first sex toy. After all, it’s never too late to start.
For more information about Price, visit: http://www.joanprice.com/.
Saturday, May 06, 2006
Anne Rodgers reviewed Five books on midlife sex for Cox News Service. Here's what she said about Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex after Sixty:
I found this book both uplifting and horrifying. Uplifting because of author Joan Price's frank optimism and practicality; horrifying because of the challenges to successful coupling that most of us are apparently going to face. In addition to the normal aches and pains associated with aging, Joan covers loss of libido, catastrophic illness, impotence, painful intercourse and the post-menopausal issues of vaginal dryness and thinning of the vaginal walls (which can result in tearing). Yikes!
While the glimpse into the future was daunting, I was again and again heartened by Joan's grace and courage as she delved into the particulars of traditionally awkward subjects, addressing each with the comforting light of acceptance and education. Her observations are interspersed with comments from women she interviewed on topics such as using sex toys, the challenge of finding a partner, spicing up a long-term relationship, solo sex and more. Of the six books, this is the most specific, the most upbeat and perhaps the most helpful.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
I love this article by lifestyle columnist Ann Marie McQueen in the Ottawa Sun today!
Ageless Sex Advice
Author touting the benefits of nookie after 60 during stop at local adult shop
By Ann Marie McQueen, Ottawa Sun
After I suggest to California author Joan Price she seems to have landed the world's greatest sixtysomething man -- scratch that, the greatest man of any age -- she launches right into the nitty-gritty.
They're out there, says the author of Better Than I Expected:Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty, who is coming to Ottawa this weekend to give two workshops on the topic at downtown sex shop Venus Envy.
The men she speaks of, like her Robert, came of age in the 1960s too, and many of them want to be with their female contemporaries, want to find ways to make sex good with them, no matter what their aging bodies say about it, says Price.
She gathers steam as she describes such men, who will listen as women say things like, "let's see what we can do about my thinning vaginal tissues, about my lack of lubrication."
She stops suddenly.
"This may be too frank for you."
"No, no,"I say, realizing I had starting chuckling out loud right about the time Price said "thinning vaginal tissues."
"You all right?"she says once more, sweetly, before forging ahead " -- what can we do about my slow arousal, what can we do about the time it takes to reach orgasm?"
If you are below 50, and before you start going 'ewwww' at the priceless Price, it might be time to think about where your own life is headed. That's right. Straight to 60, and beyond. Might be time to pay attention. And ditch the attitude, such as the kind embodied in Louise Rafkin's article for the San Francisco Chronicle magazine, headlined "Now that Baby Boomers have discovered there's sex after 60, could they please stop writing about it?"
It's not very likely Price is going to do anything of the kind. In fact, she's made it her mission to speak on it as much, and as frankly, as possible.
"If you want to be a sexual person, you've gotta really make a commitment to it, you've really gotta say, 'I'm gonna love my wrinkles, I'm gonna love my sags, I'm gonna love my partner's wrinkles and sags and we're gonna find ways to rejuvenate the relationship,' " she said.
While the one-time English teacher, fitness professional and author was penning Better, Gail Sheehy would be building on the success of her book Passages 30 years ago with Sex and the Seasoned Woman, which was all over the morning TV shows, Internet and newspapers when it came out in January.
Fitting, really, considering Price blames the media for the dim light cast on aging women.
"It has never portrayed the older woman as sexy, understanding herself, self-confident, self-knowledgeable, self-affirming and that that's a good thing," says the California-based Price.
If women are shown as sexual when they are older, it's either perceived as ground-breaking (Diane Keaton in Something's Gotta Give) or predatory and pathetic (a turn by actress Holland Taylor on Boston Legal's predecessor The Practice). They are invisible in magazines, says Price, who is determined to build on the current wave of awareness.
"I want it to seem normal for one," she says, "and I want people who have not come out of the woodwork to talk about it, and they are."
Price's perky, inspirational book offers not academic theories but practical expertise. It is filled with concrete tips -- say, instructions for how to use a vibrator -- and she's-been there-anecdotes about everything from exercise, to hormone replacement therapy.
She's even delighting in holding her Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty workshops in new-generation adult stores like Venus Envy. Drawing people who've never visited them, helping them realize the sex-related treasures they hold, is another of Price's goals.
"They are places filled with joy and laughter, and the attitude that sensuality and sexuality are great pleasures for us," she said. "And they are just showing us ways we can enhance those pleasures."
Price will give two workshops this weekend, each from 6:30-8:30 p.m. Saturday's is open to women and men, while Sunday's is limited to women. The cost is $25. For information, call the store at 789-4646.
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
In an article titled "Check the Expiry Date" in the Ottawa Xpress, Sylvie Hill wrote about Better Than I Ever Expected:
I always wanted a book of nude photographs of older ladies to help me grow accustomed to what I'll become. I haven't found that book, but I have checked out Joan Price's Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty (Seal Press, 2006). Price is priceless... As a collection of testimonials about sex from gay, straight, married and single 60-plussers, the book'll whip your skull over yonder toward the future, and alert you to some sizzling possibilities!
Monday, May 01, 2006
Good Vibrations has posted a terrific review of Better Than I Ever Expected:
The best sex of your life is yet to be- if Joan Price has her way! She offers upbeat, comprehensive, explicit advice for [post]menopausal women about body image, changing physiology, cultural expectations, relationships, partner sex, masturbation, and sex toys. Acknowledging in a chapter heading that “It Ain’t Easy After Menopause,” she addresses the complications of hot flashes, HRT, and painful intercourse on the way to becoming a sexually seasoned woman. By including her own and other women’s personal perspectives, Price has written the book that we’ve been waiting for. Heterosexual focus.
I love the review, but I question "heterosexual focus." Although I happen to be heterosexual, as are many--but not all--of the women I interviewed, I also include the lesbian perspective, and most of the tips and techniques are not orientation-specific at all. Just wanted to make that point!
Thank you, Good Vibes, for the enthusiastic review!
Are you a couple in love who met each other after age 40? I'm seeking interviews for a national magazine article.
The editor was intrigued by my story of meeting the love of my life when I was 57 and Robert was 64, five years ago. She wonders if there are other similar stories out there -- I'm sure they are many! Do you have a story of meeting your love at midlife or later, and would you be happy to be interviewed about your meeting, your romance, and your current relationship? (No intimate details necessary for this article.)
If so, please email me directly so I know how to contact you.
I hope you'll also post a comment here, because I have many single readers who tell me they think it's too late to meet someone and fall in love again. That's what I thought when I was single and seeking love in my fifties. Let's show my readers that it's never too late!
(Do you want to comment, but you don't know how it works? Please read this.)