Last night I presented my "Straight Talk about Sex after Sixty" workshop at Good Vibrations in Berkeley. Despite a horrible storm, ten women arrived, shed their soggy raincoats and their inhibitions, and spent two hours in a circle sharing questions, stories and concerns. Soon these women who hadn't known each other's names an hour before were revealing intimate details about their libidos (or lack of such) and relationships in the spirit of women's community that is one of the great joys of this work I'm doing.
Some of the women had never been inside a sexuality shop before, and they were pleasantly surprised at the friendliness, frankness, and accessibility of the store and the wonderful people who work there. Besides talking, we laughed as we turned on vibrators and ran them over the delicate and responsive skin of our wrists, spread lubricant over our hands, and tried lying on the wedge pillow!
The evaluations were very positive and appreciative of the openness, warmth, and personal sharing that took place, including my own personal disclosures. (There's nothing I won't answer!) The one recurring criticism was "not enough time" -- I'll have to rethink whether two hours is enough.
My next workshop is in Chicago, details here:
Sunday, March 5, 7– 9 pm, Straight Talk about Sex after Sixty workshop at Early to Bed, 5232 N Sheridan Rd, Chicago, IL, 773-271-1219, toll-free 866-585-2BED. $20.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
I had two very different experiences on Sunday, Feb. 12.
1. I read Louise Raflin's petulant plea to Boomers to hush up about their sex lives in the San Francisco Chronicle Magazine.
2. I spoke to a full house at Book Passage in Corte Madera, CA, talking about and reading from my book, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty. The women and men in the audience displayed an attitude that was far from the "it's-all-about-me" egocentrism that Rafkin condescendingly described. They were thoughtful, communicative, vibrant, funny, and passionate.
"Could they please stop writing about it?" Rafkin begs. Not a chance. We've only just begun.
Friday, February 10, 2006
I was interviewed about love in later life by Jill Kramer for the Pacific Sun (Marin County, CA), Feb. 10, 2006, under the title "Tips for Older Lovers":
I think later-life love is the best. We come to each other with decades of adult life experience, including many relationships that may have helped us grow to the next stage when that person doesn't fit any more -- so then we're ready for someone who can match us at that next level of growth. So I think it's natural for us to grow into and grow out of relationships until we get to the point where we really know who we are and what we're looking for and what we have to give.
It's harder when you're older to find the right person. And it's hard to hold out for someone who's got everything you're looking for. So sometimes people get into relationships that are only partially fulfilling because they figure, "Well, I'm not going to do any better." Yeah, you are! Don't settle! Do the things you love to do and look around at who else is doing them. Be yourself, don't put on any kind of an act. Be the person you hope to find.
Martha Cornog reviewed Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk About Sex After Sixty, along with other new books about sexuality and older women, in "The Go-Go Golden Libido" in Library Journal, February 1, 2006:
Our third senior sexpert, health writer Price focuses on a smaller number of women of the 1960s “love generation” who are still having happy and wonderful sex. Drawing on data from emailed questionnaires and telephone interviews, the author shares personal stories and a wealth of insightful information about having good sex; dating; staying sexy; coping with hormonal, physical, and medical problems (including vaginal atrophy); and keeping erotic warmth alive in a long-term arriage. Many of these women have been adventurous and continue to be—their stories are not for the monogamy-at-all-costs crowd. Yet this is the book's strength: reassuring senior-aged women who feel abandoned by the numerous “coupled through life” books (and perhaps distanced from “vanilla” friends) that they are not freakish or alone. One quibble: it could've been more inclusive about safe(r) sex, though there's an excellent reading list and even footnotes.
Friday, February 03, 2006
I wrote Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty specifically for women of Boomer age and beyond, but I'm finding much interest from younger people, who enjoy the upbeat and sexy style and the window into their future. "Thanks for letting us know what to expect," they tell me.
The book isn't just about older age sexuality. It's about a lifetime of experiences from adolescence on. I describe highlights (and lowlights) of my whole sexual history, from my first experience 45 years ago to my current relationship, with a lot of wild times along the way. The point is that sex gets better and better with more experience, more self-knowledge, better communication skills, and a loving partner.
I offer this plea to young people: Help us change our society's view of older women as either sexless or ludicrous and icky for wanting sex. Realize that our bodies change, but we're still the same lusty and loving women that we were when we were your age.