Thursday, August 10, 2006

60+ Singles Searching

pds62 said...
I just found your site today and have only had a chance to read a portion of all the information on it. My question to you is this: if on-line dating has proven unsatisfactory, what are some other ways to meet men over the age of 60 who are looking to get back in the "dating world"?


That's such an important topic, pds62 -- thank you for offering it.

I wouldn't say that online dating doesn't work -- several of the women who share their experiences in Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty tell how they found their soulmates that way, and others say they at least found a temporary partner, an appealing fling, or a good friend. I've noticed a bunch of new books out specifically on online dating -- I hope our readers will let us know if some are really helpful.

The problem with online dating is that (a) you have to email a lot of frogs before you kiss your prince or princess and (b) most people lie in their profiles and emails, or at least try to make themselves appear more desirable (physically, socially, emotionally, and/or financially) than they are.

So it's up to you to be prepared for lots of emails, lots of phone conversations, lots of disappointing first dates. But he's out there, somewhere, and he's looking for you, too! Give yourself every chance to be where he might look.

My first recommendation for finding a compatible potential partner, though, is to get out there and fill your social life with activities you love. I met Robert in my own contemporary line dancing class! Do you like to dance? There are dance venues galore, including lessons and mixers. Do you like to hike? There are many outdoor-oriented groups, some aimed at singles specifically. Would you rather read? Look at your local bookstore's author event calendar -- and don't be shy about approaching the unaccompanied men in the audience who are as interested in that author as you are.

I welcome suggestions from my readers!

For a hilarious look at dating after 50, I recommend Rescue Me, He’s Wearing a Moose Hat (And 40 Other Dates After 50) by Sherry Halperin (Seal Press, 2005). As I read the book I kept laughing hysterically at her witty descriptions of her doomed dates -- a great read.

Thanks again for the topic, pds62!

-- Joan

4 comments:

  1. Thanks so much for your reply! I'm going to keep trying.

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  2. As a 60+ male, I find it equally difficult to meet or even correspond with ladies of a similar age on line. It seems to me that the ladies have a much greater choice than the men these days

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  3. I'm a very active widow, just turning 66, and I've met some very nice men on the Internet..they don't all lie! I am in the early stages of dating one of them. Coincidentally, I just met a 62 year old who loves to dance at a mixer this weekend. Try both venues...It's a numbers game.
    By the way. I'm reading your new book and love it!

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  4. Charlie, would you explain what you mean by "ladies have a much greater choice than the men these days"? I'm always hearing from women who are looking for men -- what has your experience been looking for women?

    Bobbie, glad you're enjoying my book! That's great that you're having success meeting men both online and at dances. Can you tell us more about your experiences? You say "it's a numbers game," and that's true -- but I wonder if you're also radiating some special quality or approaching men in some appealing way that draws them to you?

    -- Joan

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