This blog has welcomed thousands of new readers since I first posted these tips in April 2006, so I'm posting them again for your pleasure. If you'd like a pretty, print-worthy, colorful page of these tips in .pdf format, email me and I'll send them to you.
1. Slo-o-o-w-w down. Yes, it takes longer to warm us up. Fortunately, one of the best things about mid-life and later-life sex is the absence of urgency for our partners, also. They enjoy slow sex as much as we do! Make sex play last hours... or days.
2. Kiss and kiss. Kiss sweetly, passionately, quickly, slowly, contentedly, hungrily, lightly, sloppily. All kinds of kisses help you bond with your partner, warm up, and enjoy the moment.
3. Appreciate, decorate, and celebrate your own and your partner's bodies. Jewelry, lingerie, feathers, fringe, silk, velvet, massage oil, candlelight--whatever looks good, feels good,
4. Do sexy things together long before you hit the sheets. Dance together. Visit lingerie or sex toy shops. Leave sexy notes in each other's pockets. Give each other little gifts.
5. Do sexy things on your own to get yourself in the mood. Wear sexy lingerie under your everyday clothes. Work out. Swim. Dance. Fantasize. Write in your journal all the sexy things you want to do together. Spend some time humming with your vibrator.
6. Make love during high energy times. Midnight sex after a romantic meal may work for young folks, but we're more likely to feel full, bloated, and ready to sleep. Instead, make sex dates in the morning or afternoon. (Why do you think they call it "afternoon delight"?)
7. Explore sex toys and other erotic helpers. Our hormonally challenged bodies may need extra help to reach orgasm these days. Lucky for us that sex toys are easy to find, fun to try, and wow, do they work!
8. Use a silky lubricant. We don't have the natural moisture we used to, but there are many different lubricants that feel great and bring back the joy of friction. When your partner applies it, it becomes an erotic part of sex play.
9. Enjoy quality snuggle time before, during, and afterwards. Holding each other, feeling the warmth and texture of each other's skin, is one of the sweetest and sexiest parts of making love.
10. Laugh a lot. Play silly games, invent special words, tease each other, rediscover your childhood together. Laughter is bonding, joyful, ageless--and sexy.
(These tips are copyright 2006 by Joan Price and may not be reprinted without permission from Joan Price. Thank you!)
4 comments:
I am a 26 year-old student in the aging track at Columbia University's graduate school of Social Work and I am hoping you will allow me to reprint your brilliant "ten tips for hot sex after 60." I am hoping to use them in a flyer I am putting together as an assignment for my Aging: Issues, Policies, Research and Programs class. Your list is so full of simple but crucial concepts for understanding and enriching sexuality as people age.
I also wanted to tell you how inspiring your web site has been to me. Your book looks wonderful!
Thank you, Liz! It's wonderful to see that this information is valued by the academic community. I look forward to hearing how it is received by your class.
-- Joan
These are great ideas, but once again the presumption that “hot sex” is for couples only is very apparent.
I don’t think it’s very realistic or fair to imply that when we’re over 60 we’ll of course have, or necessarily even want, a partner. In fact it’s not realistic or fair to assume this about people of any age.
The article doesn’t specify whether the couple is a man and woman, or two people of the same gender, which is good. I think it would mean a lot to readers who don’t have partners if another article followed this one with hot tips for solo sex, emphasizing how good that can be too.
This article could more accurately be called “Hot Tips for Couples Over 60.” Then it wouldn’t be supporting the Western cultural misconception that good sex is only about pairs of humans.
Heck, use lots of silky lubricant is good no matter how old you are! I'm 25, and my bottle of lube is probably one of my most prized sex possessions (along with my silicone dildos and my Hitachi Magic Wand). From your comment, you make it sound like younger folks can always make all the lubrication they need... and that's simply not true. Adding some lube is always a good thing if sex is hurting for whatever reason... go slow at first, use more lube is the mantra of people who practice anal sex, and it's a good mantra for vaginal penetration as well.
Post a Comment