Friday, February 03, 2006

Young People: Please Read This

I wrote Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty specifically for women of Boomer age and beyond, but I'm finding much interest from younger people, who enjoy the upbeat and sexy style and the window into their future. "Thanks for letting us know what to expect," they tell me.

The book isn't just about older age sexuality. It's about a lifetime of experiences from adolescence on. I describe highlights (and lowlights) of my whole sexual history, from my first experience 45 years ago to my current relationship, with a lot of wild times along the way. The point is that sex gets better and better with more experience, more self-knowledge, better communication skills, and a loving partner.

I offer this plea to young people: Help us change our society's view of older women as either sexless or ludicrous and icky for wanting sex. Realize that our bodies change, but we're still the same lusty and loving women that we were when we were your age.

Comments?

5 comments:

  1. Joan -
    I'm 25 years old and saw your book lying out at the book store... intrigued, I picked it up and thumbed through it. I ended up buying the thing after about 15 minutes of reading it.
    I really enjoy older women - I only wish more were more willing to show interest in us younger men!

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  2. Sean, when I was in my late forties or early fifties, I had a brief but glorious affair with a 29-year-old, 6'4" (I'm under 5' tall) bicycle racer. I enjoyed him because he was full of energy, communicative, and eager to learn how to please a woman. I know that many older women are interested in younger men, so please keep radiating your interest and don't be afraid to approach them.

    I'm hoping that some women will respond to you here. (And if any readers want me to play matchmaker, email me your contact info!)

    -- Joan

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  3. Joan, I admire and respect you on so many levels. I really believe that you are paving a path for so many women (and men). You are truly laying ground work here. The work that you do and the issues that you are speaking out on are so important, and I know that you are being heard and reaching people.

    Krista Rafanello, Senior Publicist
    Avalon Publishing Group
    www.avalonpub.com

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  4. Joan,
    I am a 32 year old single father who is interested in a woman who is 42 and is having issue with our age difference because of the way she has been treated in the past.
    She says she has been dumped for younger girls before and is afraid to let herself fall completely in love with me because she thinks i will do the same. is there any advice you can give me to get through to her and helo her understand that her age means nothing to me and that her heart means everything?

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  5. "Cueball," I think only time will reassure her that you're committed to her and that the age difference doesn't matter. You didn't say how long you've been together -- months? years?

    Ten years age difference really isn't very much, especially as you get older. Rather than try to convince her of anything, let your relationship develop, show her the love you have to give, and let her see that she lights up your world because of the person she is.

    I'm not sure how much power we really have to "let ourselves" fall in love with someone or not. It's possible she's just not as invested in the relationship as you are, I can't say from what you've told me.

    Love her, enjoy each other, be honest, and don't press her for more commitment than she's ready to give. If she admits that her past is interfering with her present, a counselor could help her tackle her obstacles.

    Tell us more if you wish....

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-- Joan