50 Shades of Grey Hair

If you've been awake on this planet, you've heard of the success of Fifty Shades of Grey. It's the Number 1 best seller on Amazon, where it sports 3,639 reader reviews at this moment.*

The big deal about this book is that it's erotica, BDSM erotica at that, and it's being read by a mainstream female audience -- everyone from teens through their moms and, yes, grandmoms of our age, too. Many start reading it because everyone else seems to reading it, and we like to be shocked.

I didn't read the whole book, but I did read quite a bit during a very long airport wait at JFK, where I found a mile-high display of all three Shades of Grey books. How did the author, E L James, come out with three books so fast? From the quality of the writing, I'd say she wrote them quickly, didn't rewrite, and didn't have an editor. Otherwise, how could she repeat herself all these ways, as an Amazon reviewer points out:

Ana bites her lip 35 times, Christian's lips "quirk up" 16 times, Christian "cocks his head to one side" 17 times, characters "purse" their lips 15 times, and characters raise their eyebrows a whopping 50 times. Add to that 80 references to Ana's anthropomorphic "subconscious" (which also rolls its eyes and purses its lips, by the way), 58 references to Ana's "inner goddess," and 92 repetitions of Ana saying some form of "oh crap" (which, depending on the severity of the circumstances, can be intensified to "holy crap," "double crap," or the ultimate "triple crap")...Characters "murmur" 199 times and "whisper" 195 times (doesn't anyone just talk?), "clamber" on/in/out of things 21 times, and "smirk" 34 times. Finally, in a remarkable bit of symmetry, our hero and heroine exchange 124 "grins" and 124 "frowns"... which, by the way, seems an awful lot of frowning for a woman who experiences "intense," "body-shattering," "delicious," "violent," "all-consuming," "turbulent," "agonizing" and "exhausting" orgasms on just about every page.

Readers recognize the bad writing -- more than 1,000 reader reviews are only 1-star -- but what the heck, it is sexy (of course "sexy" is in the eyes of the beholder). Anastasia gets lots of orgasms, and isn't it a fantasy of women at any age to have an extraordinarily handsome, insanely rich lover who gives us endless orgasms -- and, by the way, has inner turmoil that we're convinced only we can fix by offering him our special brand of devotion?

Our age group is reading this book, too, and not just women. I enjoyed the reader review from "a male senior citizen, a semi-retired gynecologist," whose "arthritis flared up just reading about Ana's sexual gymnastics." He had to take Viagra to stiffen his resolve to keep reading.

If you're interested in BDSM erotica, there are plenty of well-written books you can read, with the sex you're looking for plus skillful, non-repetetive writing and unpredictable characters and plots. For example, try the Sleeping Beauty Novels, a trilogy by Anne Rice writing as A.N. Roquelaure, or check out the many BDSM erotica anthologies from Cleis Press. If it isn't specifically BDSM but simply well-written erotica you're looking for, both Cleis and Seal Press do a great job. Starting with an anthology can introduce you to writers whom you particularly enjoy, and from there you can explore what else these writers have written.

What would Fifty Shades of Grey look like if it featured a woman our age, instead of a college student? We could title it Fifty Shades of Grey Hair, and our heroine would be a woman of, say, 68, who has left a long, boring marriage and goes to San Francisco or New York City to discover her hitherto hidden sexual kinks. She hooks up with a dom who is maybe 72 and in the best of health and vigor, who uses plenty of lube while he introduces her to his special brands of toys, fingers, tongue, and penis, to bring her to the ultimate heights every few pages. I say "every few pages" instead of "every page," because we need longer foreplay these days.

Or maybe she doesn't find a dom -- maybe she's the domme, exploring her personal power in ways she has only fantasized.

You see how much fun this could be? Fifty Shades of Grey Hair wouldn't suffer in any way by being about senior sex. In fact, by featuring savvy, sexy seniors, we wouldn't need any of the lip chewing and we could be more inventive with our reactions than "oh, crap." What do you think?

(If you love the idea of senior erotica, I'm editing an anthology right now titled Still Naked: Erotica for Seniors, with Seal Press. I'll let you know when it's published!)


*I can't help comparing: my Naked at Our Age has  20 Amazon reviews--all raves except for one that found it offensive because too much of it is "about how to give yourself an orgasm." Here I thought that would be a useful part of a senior sex self-help sex guide....

Naked at Our Age wins AASECT book award

"Dear Ms. Price," the email began. "It is my honor to notify you that your book, Naked at Our Age, was selected by the AASECT Awards Committee as the 2012 Book Award winner."

The email listed the AASECT members who had nominated and endorsed my book, and continued,

This award is presented to the author(s) of a book that makes a significant contribution to AASECTs vision of sexual health and to the clinical and educational standards of the field. The nominated book can be written for a professional audience or for a general audience and must have been published in English in 2011.

AASECT is The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists, the primary professional organization of this field. As the website explains,

In addition to sexuality educators, sexuality counselors and sex therapists, AASECT members include physicians, nurses, social workers, psychologists, allied health professionals, clergy members, lawyers, sociologists, marriage and family counselors and therapists, family planning specialists and researchers, as well as students in relevant professional disciplines. These individuals share an interest in promoting understanding of human sexuality and healthy sexual behavior..

Do you see why I'm thrilled by this award? These are the people I learn from at conferences and through their books and websites. These are the people who showed me the diversity of sexuality education and how much it's needed at all points of our lifelong journey. These are the people who have chosen sexuality education as their life's work.

And they have chosen Naked at Our Age as the best sexuality book of the year!

As proud as I am, I know it's not just my book. It's compelling because of your concerns and questions that comprise the 135 candid reader stories. It's a solid guidebook to solutions for age-related sex problems because of the 45 experts -- most AASECT members themselves -- who graciously provided the answers to your questions. I'm also grateful to those of you who reviewed Naked at Our Age on your blogs, in publications, and on Amazon, so that potential readers learned about it.

I'll receive this award personally at the AASECT conference in Austin next month -- where I'll also present a session on blogging about sexuality.

Thank you for making this book what it is, and for recognizing it with this honor.

Vaginal dryness and senior sex orgy? Reader Q

Here's a reader question that will intrigue you! My response follows.

Q: I have recently started to have a physical relationship with a more mature woman. She happens to be 12 years my senior. I normally use lubricant because she is normally dry, regardless of how much foreplay we engage in. She has approached me about engaging in a small orgy. We were wondering if there would be any issues with a few men?

My response:

 By “any issues,” I can’t tell if you’re asking whether her vaginal dryness might be exacerbated by having intercourse with more than one man, or whether you’re concerned that enacting this fantasy might be emotionally problematic for her, for you, or for your relationship. Since I’m not sure which you’re asking, I’ll answer both.

It’s completely normal for women to need lubricant for sex as they age. A woman can be extremely aroused and still not lubricate the way she used to. You’re right to use lubricant, as you’ve discovered already. Prolonged intercourse – whether with one man or “a few” – will require frequent application of lubricant.

Besides the dryness, though, she may find the group sex she’s considering physically uncomfortable sooner than she expects because of the thinning of her vaginal walls. If you plan to go ahead with this scene, be sure everyone understands that not every sex act has to culminate in intercourse, and make sure the other men involved agree not to push that part of it.

For everyone’s health and safety, be sure that condoms and dental dams (or the female condom, which works for both uses) are within easy reach and used with every interaction. Don’t forego this because the other men insist that they are “safe.” Your sexual health and your partner’s are your own responsibility. (Please read the FAQ, “Six Basic Facts Seniors Need to Know about STIs”)

I can’t tell from your question whether your partner has had sex with multiple partners before and wants to do it again, or whether this is a fantasy of hers that you’d like to help her indulge. Don’t go into it lightly. Talk a lot first. Try roleplaying, just the two of you, pretending you have a third (or fourth) by “talking dirty” about what you’re fantasizing is going on. That may help you each understand what you’re imagining and wanting from expanding your relationship.

I could write pages about the issues to think about and talk about, how to negotiate what’s okay and what’s off limits, how to choose and invite new partners, how to test your fantasy in stages, how to make sure your partner (or any of you) can stop or leave if it doesn’t turn out to be right after all, how to care for each other afterwards.

As you see, I’m not moralizing – if you both really want this and it fits with your own beliefs, go into it thoughtfully and with plenty of dialogue and preparation.

If I’ve left you worried, frightened, or dismayed, then maybe this would be too big a step for your relationship to handle.


This question and my response were first published on the Safer Sex for Seniors website where this question was originally submitted -- direct link to this Q &A here. Here's what I wrote about this site when it first went live.


I'd love to know what my readers think about this topic and my response. Please comment!

"Outstanding Self-Help Book" says ASJA about Naked at Our Age

Photo by Dorri Olds

 I wrote in an earlier post that Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex won the outstanding service (which means self-help) book award from the American Society of Journalists and Authors (ASJA), the nation's professional organization of independent nonfiction writers.

Last night, I received the award in person at the ASJA conference in New York City.The award was introduced with these quotes from the judges:

Naked At Our Age: it's a disarming title, so appropriate to a topic that's often ignored -- senior sex. Forget "don't ask, don't tell." Joan reached out to older men and women, straight and gay. Boy, did they ask, and wow! did Joan tell.

 Joan is a recognized sexuality expert*, so of course her book provides educational and heartfelt advice about sex (including some very personal and moving reflections). 

If you're thinking, "been there, read that," think again. Joan isn't afraid of opening the reader's mind about how to think and talk about sex. The book is comprehensive -- if you've ever thought about it (even in your best dreams), you'll read about it here. Prepare to be educated, surprised, or sometimes shocked.

We're pleased to honor Joan with this ASJA award.

Photo by Mark Bennington

*The big laugh of the evening came when the presenter misread "expert" as "subject," saying "Joan is a recognized sexuality subject" -- which sent everyone into gales of laughter, including me! Photographer Mark Bennington captured my reaction!

Then I gave a short acceptance speech, which I'd love to share with you here:

It is a profound honor to receive this award from my ASJA peers – the writers I read, respect, and sometimes envy!  

 Many of you longtime ASJA members knew me for decades as a health and fitness writer.  What happened to morph me from rah-rah-fitness-is-for-everyone to preaching and teaching the pleasures of older-age sexuality? 

Writing has always been an avenue – maybe call it a running path – for following my passion. I became a high school English teacher to be the teacher I always wished I had. Then in 1979, my daily fitness habit saved my life after a car crash – my heart was strong enough to go on automatic pilot while I waited for help, smashed and bloody – so I became a fitness writer and, once I could walk again, an aerobics instructor. 

So it was natural that when I fell in love at age 57 with a man who was 64, I turned my writing to senior sex. Our profound and spicy love affair became the inspiration for the book I wrote at age 61, Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty, to celebrate the delights of older-life sexuality. 

I started calling myself an advocate for ageless sexuality. The media called me “senior sexpert” and “wrinkly sex kitten” – I’m still trying to grow into that one. 

Many readers, however, wrote me to call me "wrong." They told me that they were not having great sex lives. 150 readers sent me their stories and their questions. I realized that finding answers for them needed to be my next book, my most important book. 

I didn’t know the answer to every question, but I knew the experts who did, and I assembled 45 of them to write tips and answer reader questions. The stories and the expert tips, along with my candid commentary, became Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex. 

This book means the world to me both professionally and personally. Robert, my lover who inspired my senior sex writing and who became my husband, died when Naked at Our Age was a book proposal. Writing it was my way to paw my way through grief and re-commit to my mission to help others through my writing. 

Not usually at a loss for words, I don’t know how to express how much this award means to me. Thank you.

Thank you, Dorri Olds and Mark Bennington for permission to use your photos here.

If you'd like to purchase Naked at Our Age from Amazon, here is the direct link.

Joan's Upcoming Events

I'd love to meet you in person! As events are scheduled, I'll post them here.

If you are interested in having me speak at your event or to your organization, please email me. See more information about my aging and sexuality talks here. (I also speak about fitness -- click here.)

Saturday, June 9, 2012, 4:45-5:45 pm. Synergy: innovation. sexuality. tradition, 44th annual conference of American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors & Therapists (AASECT), Austin, Texas. Joan Price, MA, presents "Blogging about Sex to Attract Clients and Media." This workshop will give participants the knowledge and tools to start blogging about their niche area of sexuality with the purpose of attracting new clients and, if desired, the media. Blogging is an easy way to attract potential clients, increase your credibility as a sex educator, position yourself as a media resource, claim your niche area of sexuality and get your news and views on the Internet for your audience to read. But what and how should you blog? Once your blog is running, how do you reach your audience? This session answers these questions and offers hands-on instructions for getting started.


Saturday, Sept. 22, 2012, Joan Price speaks as part of the daylong Sonoma County Book Festival, Santa Rosa, CA. The Sonoma County Book Festival is a free public event brought to you by The Literary Arts Guild. Our event transforms downtown Santa Rosa into the literary capital of Northern California. Thousands of book lovers return every year for a full day of fun under our welcoming white tents. Our rich programs present nationally acclaimed and locally treasured authors, who inspire and entertain festival attendees of all ages. Schedule details to come.


(schedule updated May 26, 2012)

Radio, TV, Internet Radio: Online Now

Morning Blend on TODAY'S TMJ4, Milwaukee, October 3, 2011.  We talk to author Joan Price about her new book, Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex. It addresses the real problems that people over 50, 60, and 70 encounter in trying to maintain the joy of sexuality. View the interview here.

KRON 4 TV's Henry Tenenbaum interviews Joan about how bodies, sex, and libido change, and asks Joan a dating question.

Ageless Sexuality. Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross interview Joan Price about how sex changes as you age, what we can look forward to, and making this a time for breaking rules and discovering your own sexual fluidity. Hear the lively and outrageous podcast here. 

Hot Sox: Sex and Aging. Sex educator Jamye Waxman interviews pro-aging sexpert Joan Price about a myriad of senior sex topics and and, yes, about her personal life -- you'll learn a lot! Read Jamye's summary and get links to the podcast here, or listen directly here.

Joyful, Authentic Living: The Joy of Ageless Sex. San Rafael, CA therapist David Pittle, PhD interviews Joan Price about senior sex stereotypes, educating doctors about senior sexuality, and more. Listen here, and see all Dr. Pittle's recent podcasts here.





Love Letters Live: Janet Gallin interviews Joan Price about her love story with artist Robert Rice: how they met, how Joan pursued Robert, and how they finally fell in love. Gallin's radio show, Love Letters Live, promotes the idea of writing love letters (and mailing them!) to support or thank someone, or set things straight. Hear her interview with Joan here.


The Lovely Truth About Aging and Sex. Hear Joan interviewed by Wendy Strgar at Care2.com.  Ever wonder about the twilight years of human sexuality? Listen as Joan Price, senior sexpert and author of Better Than I Ever Expected and Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex dispels the myths of aging sexuality and replaces the current medicalized notions of sexual dysfunction with a candid conversation about how sex lives and intimate relationships can change and heal us over time. Inspired by her own late life love affair, Joan offers a candid look at the challenges and surprises of re-discovering and connecting with your erotic self, which is ageless.


Growing Bolder: It's Not About Age; It's About Attitude. Part of Growing Bolder is being able to talk about anything. Even sex! When Joan Price wrote "Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex," she knew she might get some raised eyebrows. Even Joan admits that many of us were raised to not talk about intimacy at any age, and certainly not over the age of 50. But she's determined to battle against what she calls ageism -- and wants to battle stereotypes that people over 50 are asexual or even uninterested in sexual relationships, and make it less taboo to talk about our needs. Do men have an easier time than women? Does body image play a role in misconceptions about relationships after 50? Joan talks about the power of touch, what it takes to change our own minds (and then change the minds of others) why she thinks that sex can be be better at 60 than at 20! Hear Joan's interview here.

Psychotherapist Dr. Diana Wiley interviewed Joan on Love, Lust, and Laughter twice. Hear the first interview here and the second here.


WebTalkRadio: Have you ever worried about how aging will affect your sexuality? Ageless sexuality advocate Joan Price addresses the challenges of older age sex with Laurie Handlers on Sex and Happiness.  Laurie asks Joan about body image, lack of lubrication, using sex toys alone and with a partner, grief, and more. Hear this revealing, hour-long interview here.


BlogTalkRadio. Dr. Veronica Anderson hosts "Sex And The Senior Citizen." Baby boomers are not through revolutionizing our society. Now, as they start to become seniors, they are taking along their expectations of an active, fulfilling sex life. Having grown up with The Pill, today's seniors have a different mindset about sex from their parents: intimacy, romance, even recreation. And that other pill (the little blue one) doesn't hurt either. Even nursing homes are now adopting policies so they don't "interrupt" their patients' private moments. Now 40% of men between 75 and 85 consider themselves sexually active. Guests include Joan Price, author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty. Listen to the podcast here.

Recently completed events:




..Wednesday, May 9, 2012, 12:30-3 pm. Joan Price talks about healthy later life sexuality, hosted by Aging Explorers, Osher Lifelong Learning Institute (OLLI) of San Francisco State University, downtown campus, 835 Market St., Room 609, San Francisco, CA. Joan Price's talks and books delight audiences, who enjoy her sassy attitude and straight‐talking style. With irresistible enthusiasm she tackles all the outdated expectations and promotes new ways to celebrate sexuality throughout the later years. We can learn a lot from the shared stories she presents in her book, and follows up with tips from sex therapists, health professionals, counselors, sex educators, and other knowledgeable experts. Her book Naked at Our Age is an entertaining and indispensable guide to handling and understanding the issues of senior sex and relationships. Sheila Malkind, Director of the Legacy Film Festival on Aging, will present the 5‐min film, Backseat Bingo, "a poignant and humorous animated documentary about the romantic lives of Senior Citizens."  Free to OLLI members, $5 or sliding scale for nonmembers, no one turned away for lack of funds.


Wednesday, April 25, 2012, 7-8:30 pm. Join Best Sex Writing 2012 editor Rachel Kramer Bussel and contributors Ellen Friedrichs, Lynn Harris, Amanda Marcotte, Joan Price, and Rachel Rabbit White reading from their essays about sexuality at Housing Works Bookstore Cafe, 126 Crosby St, New York, NY 10012. Free -- and free cupcakes!


Saturday, April 28, 2012, 10:45-11:45, Joan Price moderates a panel on Writing About Sex for the American Society of Journalists and Authors annual conference, Roosevelt Hotel, New York City. Whether you write sexual self-help, sex-related nonfiction or erotica, countless online markets and print publishers welcome your sex-themed writing. Successful sex writers share the game rules for pitching, crafting, publishing, and promoting sex-based articles and books. Learn what online article and print book editors are looking for, how to approach them, and how to deliver sex that sells. Joan Price, Moderator; Rae Francoeur, Steph Auteri, Rachel Kramer Bussel. This premier writing conference is open to established writers and new writers, with two days of public sessions. Learn more here. Read about the award Joan will receive at this conference here.

Saturday, April 28, 2012, 7 pm – Free reading at Bluestockings, 172 Allen Street between Stanton and Rivington, New York City. Senior sex activists Joan Price (www.joanprice.com), author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, and Rae Francoeur (http://raefrancoeur.com), author of Free Fall: A Late-in-Life Love Affair, share their enthusiasm and expertise about sex in later life. Joan’s Naked at Our Age is a candid, straight-talking book addressing senior sexuality in all its colors– the changes, the challenges, the disappointments, and the surprises, as well as the delights and the love stories. Joan’s book gives real-life people over fifty– coupled and single, straight and gay– a voice to tell stories of their past and present sex lives, ask questions, and get straightforward advice and information from experts. Joan is also the author ofBetter Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty. Rae’s erotic memoir, Free Fall, violates society’s taboos. Women who write explicitly about their own sexual encounters, especially with such literary flair and psychological insight, push back against the norms. At the same time, they remind society of the value and significance of mindful sexuality.


Thursday, May 3, 2012, 5:30 to 7 pm. SFSU Center for Research & Education on Gender and Sexuality, 835 Market St, Suite 517, San Francisco, CA 94103. Please join us for wine and cheese and a panel conversation on Senior Sexuality with noted author and presenter Joan Price of Naked at Our Age fame, noted sex educator Charlie Glickman from Good Vibrations and Dr. Jason Petersen from Advanced Male Medical Center.

March 30 - April 1, 2012, Joan Price speaks about "Senior Sex Out Loud" at MOMENTUM, Washington, DC. Geared toward anyone interested in intelligent conversations about the influence of new media on sexuality, MOMENTUM provides a safe place to listen, discuss and learn about sexualities and gender without the fear of reprisal or shaming. It is a space for acceptance and appreciation of diversity, including for those in the LGBTQ, sex-work, BDSM and non-monogamous communities.


Sunday, April 1, 2012, 6-8:30 pm, workshop: Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Women and Men Talk Out Loud about Sex and Aging, at Secret Pleasures, 1510 U Street NW, Washington, D.C. 20009 . We’re talking about senior sex—the challenges, the pleasures, and all the questions we didn’t think we could ask out loud. What arouses us now, when the old ways aren’t working like they used to? What do we wish we understood and could communicate better about our changing bodies, desires, and responses? How do we spice up our sexual repertoire? In this eye opening, interactive, mixed-gender workshop, you’ll get to voice your questions and get answers. Joan Price, author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty and Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, guides the conversation and discovery, and offers tips for putting the zest back into later-life sexuality. For couples and singles, men and women. $20 in advance, $25 at the door, (202)664-1476.



Sun., Feb. 26, 2012, 1:30-5 pm, How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? in Marin County, CA. You’re ready to connect for dating, sex, love, companionship – but dating as a senior feels awkward ) and weird. What are the guidelines? How do you navigate online dating, write a cool profile, avoid the pitfalls, and evade the weirdos? When do you bring up safer sex, your personal sexual issues, or sex at all? Whether you’re widowed, divorced, or a longtime single, you’ll find this interactive workshop illuminating and fun, and you’ll get to find out how other single seniors meet and mate (or try to). All genders and orientations welcome.  Joan Price, author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty and Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex – and a widow trying to figure out how to date at her age – leads this workshop. Location is a lovely, private home in Novato -- you'll get the address after you preregister by emailing Joan. $35 prepaid by check or PayPal; $45 at the door.  Free gifts: books, Blossom Organics lubricant, and more--including a flattering photo of you for your online profile, if you wish! Bring a notebook, your online profile if you have one, and a sense of humor.



Sun., March 4, 2012, 12:30-4 pm, How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? at Gaia’s Garden, 1899 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa, CA 95401. You’re ready to connect for dating, sex, love, companionship – but dating as a senior feels awkward and weird. What are the guidelines? How do you navigate online dating, write a cool profile, avoid the pitfalls, and evade the weirdos? When do you bring up safer sex, your personal sexual issues, or sex at all? Whether you’re widowed, divorced, or a longtime single, you’ll find this interactive workshop illuminating and fun, and you’ll get to find out how other single seniors meet and mate (or try to). All genders and orientations welcome. Thirty million Americans age 55 and older are single, so welcome to the club with no rules! Joan Price, author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty and Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex – and a widow trying to figure out how to date at her age – leads this workshop. Singles only, $30 prepaid, $35 at the door, Gaia’s Garden's homemade soup, salad, and bread included.   Free gifts: books, Blossom Organics lubricant, and more--including a flattering photo of you for your online profile, if you wish! Get details and register by emailing Joan. Bring a notebook, your online profile if you have one, and a sense of humor.




Thurs., Feb. 9, 2012, 6-9 pm. Osmosis Day Spa Sanctuary in Freestone, CA, hosts a Sex and Romance event with food, wine, and Joan Price sharing Tips for Better Sex -- Whether You're Partnered or Not! at 7 pm and 8 pm. How can you make sex better, whether you’re in a relationship or solo? Learn tips for all ages from teens to seniors from senior sexpert Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex and Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty. Joan’s upbeat, candid, often humorous talk will send you home with new ideas and new things to try! $20 for the evening of finger foods, wine, tea and the ever-popular Cedar Enzyme foot baths plus a little sex-ed for grown-ups. Call (707) 823-8231 to RSVP, spaces limited. Details here.


Sat., February 11- Sun., February 12, 2012, Joan Price,, author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty and Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, returns to Kama Sutra Closet, 451 E. Main Street, #6, Ventura CA 93001, on Sat., Feb. 11, for two senior sex seminars. Each seminar: $10 in advance/ $15 at the door. Then on Sunday, she offers personal consultations by appointment. Call 888-801-8952 to reserve your space for workshop or consultation. Email Joan with your questions.
Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Talking Out Loud About Sex, Aging and Relationships, 10-12:30: What do we wish we understood and could communicate better with our partners about our changing bodies, desires, and responses? What arouses us now, when the old ways aren’t working like they used to? How do we spice up our sexual repertoire? Joan offers tips for putting the zest back into later-life sexuality.

How the Heck Do I Date at This Age?, 2-5 pm. What are the guidelines for dating at our age? How do we navigate online dating, write a cool profile, avoid the pitfalls, and evade the weirdos? When do you bring up safer sex, your personal sexual issues, or sex at all? All genders and orientations welcome. Bring a notebook, your online profile if you have one, and a sense of humor.


Sun., December 18, 2011, 1-4 pm, How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? at Gaia’s Garden, 1899 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa, CA 95401. You’re ready to connect for dating, sex, love, companionship – but dating as a senior feels awkward and weird. What are the guidelines? How do you navigate online dating, write a cool profile, avoid the pitfalls, and evade the weirdos? When do you bring up safer sex, your personal sexual issues, or sex at all? Whether you’re widowed, divorced, or a longtime single, you’ll find this interactive workshop illuminating and fun, and you’ll get to find out how other single seniors meet and mate (or try to). All genders and orientations welcome. Thirty million Americans age 55 and older are single, so welcome to the club with no rules! Joan Price, author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty and Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex – and a widow trying to figure out how to date at her age – leads this workshop. Singles only, $25 prepaid, $30 at the door, Gaia’s Garden's homemade soup, salad, and bread included. Get details and register by emailing Joan. Bring a notebook and a sense of humor.

Saturday, Oct. 29, 2011, Ventura, CA: Full day of Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex with Joan Price at Kama Sutra Closet, 451 E. Main Street, #6, Ventura, 10-3, hosted by Kama Sutra Closet. During the day Joan will be Shattering the 5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging, conducting a workshop: "Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Women and Men Talk Out Loud about Sex & Aging," and answering audience questions. Singles mixer at end of event, if you want! Lunch included. $35. Reserve your spot here.

September 30, 2011, 9 am-4 pm: ASSECT workshop: Joan Price, Ellen Barnard, and Myrtle Wilhite present Senior Sex: Challenges and Opportunities. We'll learn about the particular issues faced by seniors (60+) regarding sexual health, pleasure and satisfaction, and share strategies on ways to support and enhance rewarding intimacy for everyone as they age. Included is a physician’s view of medications used for various chronic diseases in older folks, highlighting the ones that are likely to result in the fewest sexual side effects. Open to Wisconsin AASECT chapter members and other professionals, by preregistration only. Lunch included. Contact Ellen Barnard for details.

September 30, 2011, 6:30-7:30, A Room Of One's Own , 307 W Johnson St., Madison,Wisconsin. Senior sex talk, reading, Q and A with Joan Price. A Room of One's Own Feminist Bookstore has been a fixture in downtown Madison, Wisconsin since 1975!

October 1, 2011, Madison, and October 2, 2011, Milwaukee, 11 am-1 pm, A Woman's Touch: How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? You’re ready to connect for dating, sex, love, companionship – but dating as a senior feels awkward and downright weird. What are the guidelines? How do you navigate online dating and avoid the pitfalls that send potential dates running in the other direction? When do you bring up safer sex, your personal sexual issues, or sex at all? Whether you’re widowed, divorced, or a longtime single, you’ll find this interactive workshop illuminating and fun, and you’ll get to find out how other single seniors meet and mate (or try to). All genders and orientations welcome; sense of humor helpful. Thirty million Americans age 55 and older are single, so welcome to the club with no rules! Joan Price, author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty and Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex – and a widow trying to figure out how to date at her age – leads this workshop. Singles only, $25.

October 1, 2011, Madison, and October 2, 2011, Milwaukee, 2-4 pm, A Woman's Touch: Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Talking Out Loud About Sex, Aging and Relationships: What do we wish we understood and could communicate better with our partners about our changing bodies, desires, and responses? We’re talking about senior sex—the challenges, the pleasures, and all the questions we didn’t think we could ask out loud. What arouses us now, when the old ways aren’t working like they used to? How do we spice up our sexual repertoire? In this eye opening, interactive, mixed-gender workshop especially for couples, you’ll get to voice your questions and get answers. Joan Price, author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty and Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, guides the conversation and discovery, and offers tips for putting the zest back into later-life sexuality. Couples and singles, $25.

Sunday, Sept. 11, 2011, 2:30-5 pm. What I Learned about Book Publicity since 2005. Redwood Writers, Flamingo Hotel, 2777 Fourth Street, Santa Rosa, CA 95405. "I'm convinced that book publicity and self-promotion in this new world has to be targeted at the Internet first,” Joan says. “That’s the fastest, easiest, and most efficient and far-reaching way to get in front of readers, and it doesn’t cost a thing--except, of course, time.” Joan shares her tips for using the Internet wisely and productively for your own book publicity and author promotion. $5/members; $8/non-members.

Tuesday, August 16, 7 pm. The Center for Sex and Culture, 1349 Mission St. between 9th /10th St. (corner of Grace St.). What do boomers and seniors really want to know about later-life sex? What are their challenges, questions, and misconceptions? Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex and Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty, shares the most common, most unusual, and most entertaining questions she hears as she writes and speaks about ageless sexuality – and her answers. Join in by emailing your own questions to Joan and she’ll include them in her talk. "Senior Singles Mixer/ Discussion" follows Joan's talk.

Saturday, July 30, 2011, 4-5 pm, Book Passage, 51 Tamal Vista Blvd, Corte Madera, CA 94925. Joan Price discusses Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex ($16.95). Price presents a candid book addressing senior sexuality in all its colors—the challenges, the disappointments, and the surprises, as well as the delights and the love stories. This work gives real-life people over 50 straightforward advice from experts. Bonus: Single seniors, come to the Book Passage cafe after Joan's Naked at Our Age talk for a mixer! (When Joan spoke at Book Passage in 2006, they had to set up chairs in the hallway, so get there early!)

Tuesday, July 26, 2011, 7 pm., Copperfield's Books, Sebastopol, CA. Joan Price is talking out loud about a subject that is often ignored or ridiculed in our society: later-life sexuality. Naked at Our Age is a candid, straight-talking book addressing senior sexuality in all its colors—the challenges, the disappointments, and the surprises, as well as the delights and the love stories. Naked at Our Age gives real-life people over fifty a voice to tell stories of their past and present sex lives, ask questions, and get straightforward advice and information from experts. No topic related to elder sexuality is off-limits.


Friday, July 15, 2011, 12:30-1:30 pm, 211 Sutter St., San Francisco. "Orgasm Is . . . Not Just for Younguns! Tips and Tools for Savvy Seniors." Senior sexpert Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, shares candid information and tips for recharging your sex life after 50, 60, and beyond. Whether you’re single or partnered, male or female, gay or straight, you’ll leave with a new understanding of your changes and ideas for recapturing the sizzle that you can put into practice immediately! Part of the Project “Orgasm Is ________” lunchtime series from OneTaste to celebrate the release of Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm by OneTaste’s founder, Nicole Daedone, June 22-July 18. Location is a pop-up bookstore at the site that was formerly Loehmann's, near Union Square.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011, 7 pm., Barnes and Noble, 82nd and Broadway, New York City. Joan Price is talking out loud about a subject that is often ignored or ridiculed in our society: later-life sexuality. Joan shatters the myths about senior sex and reads from Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex. More details here.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011, 1:30-3 pm, Hudson Guild, 119 Ninth Ave, New York City. "Let's Talk about Sexuality at Our Age!" Joan Price and Rae Francoeur share their enthusiasm and expertise about sex in later life. Joan is the author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex. Rae is the author of Free Fall: A Late-in-Life Love Affair. 




Thursday, July 7, 2011, 7-9 pm, Babeland - SoHo, 43 Mercer St., New York, NY 10013. "Let's Talk about Senior Sex!" Joan Price and Rae Francoeur share their enthusiasm and expertise about sex in later life. Joan is the author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex. Rae is the author of Free Fall: A Late-in-Life Love Affair. (Yes, this is the same topic as our Hudson Guild event, but since we're talking at Babeland, it will be racier, with sex toy recommendations and more!)



Saturday, July 9, 2011, 3-4 pm. Joan speaks at her 50th Ithaca High School reunion, at the pavilion at Stewart Park, Ithaca, New York. Talking Out Loud about Sex -- Yes, at Our Age with Joan (Kassman) Price. Who imagined that our shy and diminutive Joanie Kassman (now Joan Price) would be known at age 67 as a "senior sexpert"! “You didn’t vote for me as class treasurer, so I had to get your attention somehow,” says Joan, who is the author of two books on sex and aging: Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty and Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex. Enjoy her lively discussion – guaranteed to entertain as well as inform.

Sunday, July 10, 2011, 3-4 pm, Buffalo Street Books, in DeWitt Mall on Buffalo St between Cayuga and Tioga, Ithaca, NY. Joan Price, Ithaca native and author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty and Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, shatters the “5 Biggest Myths about Sex after Fifty” and shares the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders asked her while she was researching her new book.

Sunday, June 19, 2011, 3-5 pm, workshop: Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Women and Men Talk Out Loud about Sex and Aging. Good Vibrations, 1620 Polk Street (at Sacramento Street), San Francisco, CA 94109. We’re talking about senior sex—the challenges, the pleasures, and all the questions we didn’t think we could ask out loud. What arouses us now, when the old ways aren’t working like they used to? What do we wish we understood and could communicate better about our changing bodies, desires, and responses? How do we spice up our sexual repertoire? In this eye opening, interactive, mixed-gender workshop, you’ll get to voice your questions and get answers. Joan Price, author of Better Than I Ever Expected: Straight Talk about Sex After Sixty and Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, guides the conversation and discovery, and offers tips for putting the zest back into later-life sexuality. For couples and singles, men and women.  $25 in advance, $30 at the door. (415) 345-0400 or http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/154492.

Saturday, June 4, 4:30-5:30. Senior Sex at Gaia’s Garden, 1899 Mendocino Avenue, Santa Rosa, CA 95401. No, we won’t be doing it – we’ll be talking about it with Joan Price, local author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex. Joan will shatter the “5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging” and share the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. Yes, she’ll answer those questions, too -- in the candid, upbeat manner that led the media to dub her “senior sexpert.” (The Bohemian also called her a “wrinkly sex kitten,” but you be the judge of that!) Then you’ll have time to buy a personally autographed copy of Naked at Our Age. And we’re giving things away! Samples of Blossom Organics lubricant free to all post-menopausal women! The first 20 people who purchase Naked at Our Age or Better Than I Ever Expected from Joan get a free book of erotica from Cleis Press – many titles available! Enjoy a wholesome and delicious meal at Gaia’s Garden, voted the Best Vegetarian Restaurant by readers of The Bohemian. Stay for live music by the String Rays at 7:00.

(schedule updated 2/14/12)

Dr. Joycelyn Elders speaks at Momentum 2012

I've been promising you more tasty morsels from the Momentum conference since I wrote Part 1. Momentum was full of amazing people and ideas from start to finish -- and afterwards, because I couldn't stop thinking about what I had learned and the people I had met.

The high point had to be Dr. Joycelyn Elders -- former Surgeon General of the United States under Clinton, 1993-1994. She was born in 1933, making her a vibrant 78 now.

I met her shortly before my "Senior Sex Out Loud" speech. Dr. Elders exited the elevator and sat down across from me, where I was making last minute changes to my notes for my talk that was about to happen. I introduced myself to her and told her about my upcoming speech.

"That sounds very interesting," she said. "I think I'll follow you to the room." I don't usually get stage fright -- I love interacting with audiences! -- but I admit my hands shook and my toes tingled at the thought of Dr. Elders -- a role model for talking out loud about sex with a "bring it on!" approach to controversy! -- would be in my audience. (Read about my speech here.)

Dr. Elders, if you remember, was fired for advocating that schools teach children about masturbation in answer to a reporter's question.

Later that afternoon, Dr. Elders was part of the closing plenary. I wish you could have been there! Some of her memorable quotes:

• "80% of men masturbate. 70% of women masturbate. And the rest lie."

• “95% of Americans didn’t wait until marriage. We need to teach them to be responsible, rather than telling them, ‘Don’t have sex.’” 

• "The best contraceptive in the world is a good education."

• “The vows of abstinence break far more easily than latex condoms!” 

• [about sex-positive activism:] “When you’re dancing with a bear, you can’t get tired and sit down.”

• "We're sexual beings from the day we're born until the day we die."

• "If you think babies aren't sexual beings, you've never changed a baby boy's diaper."

• "When I am 95 I will still be a sexual person."

Although her speech at Momentum was not recorded, this video of a speech she gave in 2006 is similar and will show you her intelligence and sassy style.

Safer Sex for Seniors

I've been shouting about this for six years, and now we've got a Safer Sex for Seniors website, a video, a poster, and an advertising campaign to encourage/ inform/ bludgeon our age group to use condoms!

The campaign launched today with this video and a website filled with FAQ about safer sex for seniors written by thirteen sex educators-- most members of the Sexuality and Aging Consortium. (I wrote two of these:  Tips for the Condom Conversation and 10 Tips for Hot Solo Sex.)

I think the video is entertaining enough to get people to watch and share it (though I wish some non-heterosexual couples had been depicted). Will the message get through? Certainly if people click to http://safersex4seniors.org/ it will.

Help me pass the word, will you?

Momentum 2012: Part 1

That hardest part about writing about the Momentum conference in Washington, DC, is figuring out what to leave out so I don't write 20,000 words.

Dr. Joycelyn Elders

I want to quote all the bon mots, tell you about the presenters and their topics, rave about the exhibitors, describe the awe I felt meeting and learning from the amazing Joycelyn Elders, former Surgeon General under Clinton (yes, the one who was fired for advocating teaching young people about masturbation) -- and eagerly describe my own presentation and the response I got.

I'll start with that, and write more posts later.

I spoke on the topic "Senior Sex Out Loud."If you worry (as I often do) that we have a long way to go before senior sex is accepted as normal and wonderful, a sex-positive conference like Momentum is the place to recharge!  I've been speaking for years, and the Momentum audience was the most enthusiastic ever in my career. They not only applauded, they cheered!

The loudest cheers came when I removed some of my clothing.

I'd better explain that.

I had been recounting some of the highlights of my 6-year journey as an advocate for ageless sexuality, and I was telling the audience some of the things I'd been called. When I got to "wrinkly sex kitten," people laughed, as I did, and I added, "I'm still trying to grow into that one... not the wrinkly part -- I've got that down -- but the 'sex kitten' part. But I'm trying!" With that I removed my polka dot jacket and presented the rest of my speech in a red camisole.

I then explained, "I'm not doing this to show off. It doesn't matter what my body looks like. What matters is that this is the body I live in. It gives me pleasure. I  own it."

I talked about much more than body image, of course. No, we didn't make a video. But I'd love to come to your area and give this talk for you live! Contact me if you want to talk about that.

Instead of trying to pack in far too much information in one post, I'll call this one Part 1 and write again soon about more of Momentum.


If you work in any area of sexuality, I hope you'll make a point of going to Momentum next year. I'll be there for sure.

See my interview with the organizers of Momentum here.