Monday, March 23, 2015

Private Gym: Kegels for men -- with penis weights!

I've stressed the importance of pelvic floor (AKA Kegel) exercises for both male and female anatomies, but I admit that I haven't given as much focus to male bodies. Now there's a complete exercise program for male pelvic muscle training -- Private Gym -- including weight training for the penis!

Stronger pelvic muscles give you more blood flow to the penis, stronger and more rigid erections, better urinary and rectal control, and stronger orgasms and ejaculatory force. Like any other muscles, they respond to strength training. Private Gym offers both a "basic" ($59.99) and a "complete" ($99.99) training program, both with free shipping.

Both include a DVD, an instruction manual, and a book, Male Pelvic Fitness: Optimizing Sexual & Urinary Health. The book presents a ton of anatomical and sexual function information, plus cool factoids that you can throw out at a sex-positive dinner party, such as what "phallocarps" are and which animal ejaculates 4-5 gallons of semen.

This program lets you learn and practice the step-by-stem program with a follow-along DVD. It's very well done, with clear illustrations and explanations. (I would have preferred it without the background music, though, which I found repetitive and distracting.)

The difference between the programs? The basic gives you a 4-week, progressive, step-by-step program.  It's good, especially for pelvic floor training beginners.

However, I recommend the complete program, which includes the basic plus additional exercises and 4 weeks of resistance training, which you do with the included weights. (Only the complete program includes the weights.)

Yes, weights. You put the weighted ring on your penis and perform the squeeze-release exercises (both slow and rapid) along with the DVD. As your pelvic muscles strengthen, you can add the additional weight which attaches magnetically. You'll need a rigid erection (with or without medication) in order to use the weights. (You don't need a rigid erection for the basic program.)

I know, penis weights may seem like a gimmick. But they're not, I assure you. Don't take my word for it -- here's what my 57-year-old male tester had to say:

It’s great. It takes you through the things you can do to build up those muscles. This program with your choice of a male or female voice tells you exactly how, when, and for how long, and gives you a signal that makes it so much easier. It’s like the reason you hire a fitness trainer – sure, you can lift weights on your own, but a trainer helps you.

 The book is great because it talks about why you’re doing this and gives background information, in easy to understand terms.  

When you get more advanced, you can use the weight system. The weights are comfortable, easy to slip on, and they work.  

The whole program is well thought out, and very easy and comfortable to use. It’s a great system. I think it would benefit just about anybody. 

I was having trouble with getting erections. Using this program, my erections became as firm on their own as when I was using Viagra! 

Thank you, Private Gym, for sending me this program for my tester and me to review. This is a powerful tool, especially the complete program, because the weights can make a huge difference.

Because the Private Gym folks know how this program will benefit our age group, they are offering readers of this blog a whopping 25% discount. Just type the coupon code Joan25 in the coupon box when you order. I hope you try it. Stick with the program and let us know how it goes.






Friday, March 20, 2015

Womanizer Clitoral Stimulator: Clitoral suction!



The Womanizer from LoveHoney.com is a sex toy that sucks your clitoris -- and that's a rock-your-world sensation!


Let's get this part out of the way first, though -- this is the ugliest, tackiest looking sex toy that has ever graced my nightstand. It looks like a design by sixth graders assigned to figure out what a girly ear thermometer might look like. It's a garish shade of fuschia, with animal print decoration. The "+" button is a fake jewel.

And the name --  Womanizer. Seriously?

And yet... it's wonderful! This magical sex toy isn't quite a vibrator, although it does vibrate. The essence of its power is suction. Position it so that the silicone attachment surrounds the nub of the clitoris, turn it on, and waves of gentle suction tug around the clitoris. It's an exquisite feeling. And yes, the rhythmic suction does lead to orgasm. Oh yes, it does.

This might be a deal breaker for you: it's very expensive, about $200. (Yes, it should be less ugly for that price.) But if the idea of having your clitoris gently and rhythmically sucked for as long as you want makes you squirm, save up for it. It's worth it. And if you don't love it, LoveHoney.com is that rare sex toy retailer that offers your money back, whatever your reason for returning it, as long as it's within the first year. Read their return policy here.

The Womanizer charges via USB, so there are no cords to wrestle with while you're using it.  It comes in a hard case in an unattractive shade of bubble gum pink.

The silicone part that nibbles and sucks your clitoris comes off for easy cleaning, and there's an extra in the case in case you need it. One caveat -- the manual says that you can use silicone lubricant, but you cannot. The tip, which is the part you need lubed, is silicone, so use  water-based lubricant with it.


Bottom line -- Give me that clitoral suction sensation -- I love it. I can get past ugly by closing my eyes.

Thank you, LoveHoney.com, for sending me the Womanizer.




Sunday, March 15, 2015

SensaVox and Lula Noir Kegel Balls reviewed by David Pittle

ElectraStim SensaVox and Lula Noir Kegel Balls:
 Electro-Stimulation Sex Toys

Guest post by David M. Pittle, Ph.D., M.Div

Erotic Electro-stimulation is the new wave of sex toy. It takes the TENs unit that physicians, chiropractors,  and physical therapists have used for many years and with some modification, applies that to the exquisite nerve-endings of our erogenous areas.

This is new territory for many people. If you’re new to Electro-stimulation, read my earlier post -- “EroticElectro-Stimulation—Reviews of ElectraStim Flick and Erostek ET232” -- for some background information.

Recently, Hella Walkington from ElectraStim, one of the premier providers of electro-stimulation, contacted me about doing an independent review of two new products: the Silicone Noir probes and the SensaVox Stimulator/Power Box. I enlisted my loyal cadre of testers, three men and three women, and we went into action.

 The SensaVox (pictured above) was a source of pleasure for all my testers. For male bodies, it can be used with penis bands and prostate stimulators. Each man tried the box with the penis rings, anal probe and sticky electrodes. Each woman used both probes and electrodes.

The results were amazing. All my testers praised the new Sensavox. Here’s what they loved:
  • The box has a wide variety of pulse patterns and intensities.
  • It has several new features like the Boost button which gives an extra burst of energy.
  • There are two channels so you can have one set of electrodes stimulating one location and a second set stimulating another. For example, an anal probe can be plugged into one channel while two electrodes can be attached to send pulses through the penis and perineum.
Aura probe
The SensaVox has a much greater range than the previously reviewed EM60. It begins with very gentle stimulation but goes up from there slowly until it enters the stratosphere. Even at its highest intense settings, it’s still a pleasurable kind of pulse form and pattern.

The probes are aesthetically pleasing, Matte black with unobtrusive holes for the small pin plugs, they are gentle and soft to the touch, perfect for the sensitive skin of the vulva or anus. The Aura Multi-Probe felt comfortable entering. It took a higher level of stimulation for the tester to experience pleasure. Reinserting with the leads perpendicular to the g-spot location afforded more sensation for the female-bodied testers.




The Silicone Noir Lula Electro Kegel Balls probe provided the peak of pleasure for the women who tested them. Lula consists of two small balls, one of which is tightly captured in an upper sphere of black silicone. There is a short neck and at the other end another enveloping sphere with another ball. The second ball is loose inside and it reacts to the pulses and patterns from the stimulator. With the moving balls providing vibrations, each of the women reported the absolute pleasure of this probe.

Lula is being used as a Kegel exerciser by many women. With the proper depth of insertion and combination of e-stim, Lula can aid in developing the pelvic floor muscles. 


These are just two of the five Silicone Noir probes available. In retrospect I wish I had requested the Silicone Noir Sirius Prostate Massager and the Silicone Noir Ovid G-Spot Dildo as well. They look like they are designed with pleasure in mind!

There is much to like in the ElectraStim line of products. They are user friendly in small ways:
  • They use the standard connector for cables to plug into the Stimulator/Power box. This connector has advantages over the less expensive but often used 3.5mm plug.
  • They use pin plugs at the electrode ends of the cable. This is less messy and, in the midst of passion, simpler than banana plugs or snap connectors. Sticky electrodes are less expensive if they come with pin plug connectors. 
  • I have found ElectraStim customer service to be very responsive. 
If you haven’t yet decided to try e-stim, you are missing a delightful option in your sex life. E-stim should be as ubiquitous as the vibrator. It provides a level of sexual stimulation that is hard to match in a simpler sex toy. While the cost of entry can be daunting, ElectraStim and others provide an entry level power unit for a reasonable price. The probes, penis bands, and sticky electrodes are comparable to other dildo prices.  If you have a little income to spare, you probably can’t do better than the SensaVox. But, if you need to watch the finances more closely, the EM-80 dual-channel or the EM-60 are also good options.

If you are loving yourself, give yourself a gift of the Sensavox. If you also have a partner to love, find the e-stim toys that will bring you together “magnetically.”



ElectraStim is offering our readers a 10% discount by using the code "BTIEE" at ElectraStim's website.





David M. Pittle, Ph.D., M.Div., is a therapist in San Rafael, CA, who has been helping people with sexual issues for over thirty years. Many of his clients are age 50-80, when good sex is important, and dissatisfaction may lead to loss of shared intimacy that can threaten the total relationship. David specializes in helping women who are not experiencing sexual satisfaction and men with non-medical and medically-related erectile dysfunction or other issues. Visit his website here.



Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Daring to Date Again by Ann Anderson Evans

portrait
3/11/15 update: This Sunday, March 15, I'll have the pleasure of being on a panel with Ann Anderson Evans called "Never Too Late to Date" at the Tucson Festival of Books. I'm moving this post, originally published 11/13/14, to the top so that you all know about Ann's book and our discussion of safer sex:

When a sixty-year-old, twice-divorced woman starts to date again, she's not pinning her hopes on an invitation to the prom. She is financially stable and professionally creditialed. She is a matriarch, a pillar of her church, a member of a choir. She has children and neighbors who might disapprove. She has a lot at stake.

So begins Daring to Date Again, a lusty memoir by Ann Anderson Evans about looking for romp-in-the-hay partners after 12 years of celibacy.

Evans is smart, sassy, articulate, and a darned good writer, pulling you right into her adventures. You’ll laugh, empathize, and sometimes worry as she jumps into bed with her Mr. Right-for-the-Moment parade. She wears her heart on her sleeve—or she wears nothing at all—and we share her adventures, her thoughts, her desires, and her evolution from repressed and unhappy to evolved, sexy, and joyful.

Evans finds many men who are interested in having no-strings sex with her, but towards the end of the book, she wonders whether true love even exists -- and if so, where is it hiding? I'm not ruining the book by telling you that she meets Terry -- a fellow professor and a bachelor at 63. They fall in love and marry. But that's not until the last chapter!

I enjoyed this well-written book, and I recommend it to you, whether you're exploring sexual possibilities yourself or you just want to share her escapades vicariously.

However! As a safer-sex advocate, I was concerned because there was no mention of safer sex or any discussions of condom use with the men Evans bedded. I questioned her -- no, they never used protection. Then I challenged her to explain her decision(s). She wrote this to me:

Joan chided me for not mentioning safe sex in Daring to Date Again. Logic suggests that simply interrogating a man regarding his sexual health is not sufficient protection, but that is what I relied upon. Why was I more concerned about cleaning the chopping block after cutting up chicken than about having unprotected sex? Why would I maintain the prophylactic habits of regular dental visits and colonoscopies, and yet have unprotected sex? Good question, Joan.

Indulgence was part of it. Pregnancy had been such a persistent worry when I was a young woman that having sex spontaneously was a joy. It was like winning the lottery.

Growing up in the 50s and 60s, I was taught either nothing or nonsense about sex. The bogus teachings were embedded in religion. “Chastity is the cement of civilization,” I read in the Christian Science scriptural companion, the Science & Health, when I was a student in a Christian Science college. I closed that book and have never reopened it.

The nonsense of the times I grew up in was also embedded in school. My only sex education was a couple of gender-divided classes in 7th grade that explained menstruation twinned with the unforgettable fact that when we brushed our teeth we should also be careful to brush our tongues. I was stunned when I got pregnant at 18. I thought I had to want to become pregnant in order to be so.

Between the church and school, I felt manipulated, demeaned, and endangered. Many of those who matured in the 60s rose up in mighty defiance of the bullying traditions of ignorance. In answering Joan’s challenge, I am surprised at my resurgence of anger when I think back.

Perhaps unconsciously, I placed barrier protection during sex in the basket which also included the bogus virtues of chastity, heterosexuality, sitting primly with your legs crossed, wearing a girdle, avoiding nudity, and virginity upon marriage. These virtues are so often ignored that they can only be seen as vacuous wishes. My failure to protect myself was a visceral, instinctive, and senseless act of defiance.

I take responsibility for my own actions, but it would have been helpful if the doctors (including gynecologists) had asked me if I was sexually active during that time. One general practitioner did ask me, and when I told him I had had sex with four men within the last two years he sidestepped the issue, saying, “I think you should talk to your gynecologist about that.”

I sympathize with the doctors. Discussions of sex with patients are probably minefields of religion, politics, family tradition, and personal history. But the medical profession has obviously given up the fight. How often do you see an ad for condoms displayed in your doctor’s office alongside the latest drug for depression or high blood pressure?

I felt embattled during my three years of promiscuity. Not one of the men I was involved with ever mentioned using a condom. If any of them had one in their pocket, they didn’t mention it. Joan might be better equipped to say whether men are just as likely as women to insist on condom use. In my experience, this has not been the case.

The problem of unprotected sex is far more pervasive than that of a single American raised before the Enlightenment. Our failure to identify and rectify the sociological, psychological, historical, and political reasons why people do not use condoms or other barriers has guaranteed that AIDS and other STDs continue worldwide. Saying the answer is education is simplistic. Why we don’t use them is baffling. The reason begins in the outside world of church, school, family, and government policy and all of these play themselves out in the bedroom.



Thank you, Ann, for your eloquent explanation. I can't help hoisting my 4'10" self up onto my soapbox again to remind my readers: Have all the fun you want, but please have it safely!


Ann Anderson Evans - Daring to Date AgainListen to Evans read an excerpt from Daring to Date Again here.

Thursday, March 05, 2015

Joan's Upcoming Events


I'd love to meet you in person! As events are scheduled, I'll post them here.

If you are interested in having me speak at your event or to your organization, please email me. See more information about my aging and sexuality talks here. (I also speak about fitness -- click here.)




CatalystCon East '15
Use code JOAN for $10 off reg
Friday, March 27 - Sunday, March 29, 2015: Elders Panel: “How Did We Get Here?" CatalystCon East, Hilton Crystal City Hotel, Arlington, VA, moderated by Joan Price. Carol Queen, Robert Morgan Lawrence, and Terri Clark are lively and influential sex educators who have been activists for sexual expression and acceptance since the sixties and seventies. They’ll discuss these topics and more:
  • How we were expected to behave and hide when we were young, and what happened to those who didn’t; 
  • What sexual awareness/ activism was like in the sixties and seventies; 
  • Why the sexual liberation and feminist movements were so important then and still are now; 
  • Why the younger generation(s) need to understand what our pioneers accomplished for us; 
  • What generational riffs we see now and how we can bridge the gap together. 
  • Learn about the history behind your sexual liberation, which would not have happened without the trailblazing efforts of people like our panelists.

Sunday, April 26, 2015, 9:45-10:45 am, Let’s Talk about (Senior) Sex! The Ethical Society of St. Louis, 9001 Clayton Rd., Saint Louis, MO 63117-1003.  Joan Price, author of the new The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life, shares tips and new information to put a zing in your sex life, partnered or solo. Yes, there are challenges to satisfying sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond – but for every problem, there is a solution -- with the right information, creativity, and a sense of humor. Sponsored by Sex Positive St. Louis (SEX+STL), a community resource for people in the St. Louis metro area.



Monday, April 27, 2015, 6-8 pm, Brown Lounge, George Warren Brown School of Social Work, Washington University in St. Louis, MO,  Joan Price talks to students and AASECT members about senior sex. Sponsored by Sex Positive St. Louis (SEX+STL), a community resource for people in the St. Louis metro area.



Senior-Planet-Exploration-Center-InteriorWednesday, April 29, 2015, 6-8 pm, Sex at Our Age: Myths, truths, and tips you can use tomorrow morning, partnered or solo, at Senior Planet, 127 W 25th St, New York, NY 10001, between 5th and 6th Ave. You’ll learn, you’ll laugh, you’ll leave saying, "I didn't know that!" Bonus: everything you wanted to know about sex toys.

April - May 2015: More events in New York City -- check back here, or email Joan to let you know when NYC events are finalized.


June 2015: Two free sex and aging workshops with Joan Price at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, 612-721-6088. Schedule and dates coming soon.


Woodhull's Sexual Freedom Summit 2015August 13-16, 2015: Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit in Alexandria, VA. The Sexual Freedom Summit features human rights activists, sexuality educators and researchers, professionals from the legal and medical fields, authors, sexual freedom movement leaders and organizational partners all working toward the time when sexual freedom is fully recognized as a fundamental human right. Joan presents  "Let’s Talk about Senior Sex!" on Saturday, 8/15.


September 8-9, 2015: Joan Price is the keynote speaker for the inaugural conference Let’s Talk About Sex at the Pullman Melbourne on the Park, 192 Wellington Parade, Melbourne VIC 3002,  Australia. Sponsored by Alzheimer’s Australia Vic and Council of the Aged. The inaugural Let’s Talk About Sex Conference aims to challenge many of the assumptions, taboos and stereotypes when it comes to older people and sexual intimacy. The failure to acknowledge sexuality and ageing has left many older people deprived of their right to a satisfying and fulfilling sex life.



(schedule updated March 19, 2015)





TV, Internet interviews: Online Now


Huffington Post Live panel: How Women Post-50 Embrace Their Bare Sexuality, June 3, 2014.


Huffington Post Live panel: Great Sex after 50


Huffington Post Live panel: How old is too old for sex?






Have More Sex And Improve Your Sexless Marriage With These Tips from Joan Price via Huffington Post. This was part of a panel discussion that aired live on April 2, 2013.





Sex Out Loud with Tristan Taormino, Mar. 1, 2013. Tristen and Joan discuss sex and aging, the challenges of menopause, losing a partner, erotica, and much more. Listen here.


Savage Love podcast with Dan Savage, Feb. 26, 2013. Dan and Joan discuss advice for a woman whose aging and relationship challenges stop her from enjoying sex with her husband. Listen here.



KRON 4 TV's Henry Tenenbaum interviews Joan about how bodies, sex, and libido change, and asks Joan a dating question.






Ageless Sexuality. Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross interview Joan Price about how sex changes as you age, what we can look forward to, and making this a time for breaking rules and discovering your own sexual fluidity. Hear the lively and outrageous podcast here


Morning Blend on TODAY'S TMJ4, Milwaukee, October 3, 2011.  View the interview here.


 "Sex After 60" on the Colin McEnroe Show on NPR's WNPR, Connecticut, with guests Joan Price and Dr. Rafael Wurzel. Hear the podcast here.




Recently completed events:


Sunday, March 15, 2015, 2:30-3:30 pm:  "Never Too Late to Date" at the Tucson Festival of Books, Student Union, Catalina room. Newly single and terrified of dating again? Afraid you forgot how to flirt? Not looking forward to going to a bar and getting picked up (or picking up) someone? Wondering whether you should try online dating, or can you still put a personal ad in the local rag?Ann Anderson Evans, author of Daring to Date Again, and Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age and The Ultimate Guide to Sex after Fifty, offer advice, insights and personal stories for people young and old looking to rekindle their love lives.


Tuesday, February 3, 2015, 7 pm: Valentine's Day Lovefest with Joan Price at Copperfield's Books, 138 North Main Street, Sebastopol, CA 95472. Joan reads excerpts from The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty and sends you home with tips you can use right now to enhance your sexual pleasure, partnered or solo.


Thursday, February 5, 2015, 6:30 pm: Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty Book Party at Good Vibrations, 1620 Polk Street, San Francisco, CA 94109. Joan reads excerpts from The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty. Come meet Joan in person and learn how to enjoy your sexuality for the rest of your life!


Friday, February 6, 2015, 7 pm: Joan Price at Book Passage, 51 Tamal Vista Blvd, Corte Madera, CA 94925. “Sex changes with aging, but for every problem, there is a solution,” says Joan Price, “senior sexpert” for the over-fifty population. The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty delivers solid, practical information in a friendly, accessible style to help all genders and orientations, partnered or unpartnered, enjoy their sexuality for the rest of their lives. View Book Passage's Jan-Feb 2015 newsletter here.



Sunday, 2/15, 3-5 pm: Let’s Talk about (Senior) Sex! at Gaia’s Garden, 1899 Mendocino Avenue, Santa Rosa, CA 95401, winner of best vegetarian restaurant in Sonoma County from the North Bay Bohemian for four years in a row. Joan Price, author of the new The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life, shares tips and new information to put a zing in your sex life, partnered or solo. Yes, there are challenges to satisfying sex after 50, 60, 70 and beyond – but for every problem, there is a solution -- with the right information, creativity, and a sense of humor. No charge for Joan’s talk, but Gaia’s Garden requests $5 minimum in purchases: have lunch before or dinner afterwards, or enjoy desserts, wine, beer, coffee, tea, cacao, and more. Joan’s books will be available for sale before and after her talk. Bring your questions!


Sunday, October 5, 2014, 10:30 am. Joan Price shares “The Five Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging” at the Oakmont Symposium, East Recreation Center, 7902 Oakmont Drive, Santa Rosa, CA. Open to Oakmont residents and invited guests. Audio of this presentation available here.


Friday, October 17 - Sunday, October 19, 2014free sex and aging workshops with Joan Price at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, 612-721-6088.
  • Fri, Oct. 17, 7:00 - 8:30 pm,  Ask Me, I’ll Tell You: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex.
  • Sat, Oct 18, 7:00 - 8:30 pm, Lusting, Dating and Mating for all ages! This one is not just for the over-50 crowd. Mixer follows!
  • Sun, Oct 19, 6:30 - 8:30 pm, Talking About Senior Sex (a presentation for medical professionals).



Thursday, Sept. 11 - Sunday, Sept. 14, 2014CatalystCon West at Westin Los Angeles Airport, 5400 West Century Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90045. In Senior Sex: Lusting, Dating, and Mating, Joan Price shares what Boomers, seniors, and elders tell and ask her. She interweaves her own personal stories, from finding love in later life, to dealing with grief, learning how to date all over again, and re-emerging as a sexual being. For levity, Joan shares some of the oddest dating stories she’s been told. You don’t have to be a senior to learn from and enjoy this presentation!


Sunday, Sept. 14, 6-8 pm: The 5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging at The Pleasure Chest LA, 7733 Santa Monica Blvd, West Hollywood, CA 90046. Joan Price, author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, shatters the myths and shares the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. She’ll answer those questions, too—in the candid, upbeat manner that led the media to dub her “senior sexpert.” Free!


Friday, Sept. 19 - Saturday, Sept. 20, 2014, 4th Annual Sexuality, Intimacy & Aging Conference at Widener University, Chester, PA. In Sure, Ask Me Anything: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, Joan Price shares the questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. A medical issue that interferes with sexual enjoyment? Boredom with a partner? Dating woes? How to choose sex toys that work with arthritic wrists and slow arousal? Most questions are deeply moving pleas for help about issues that often are not shared with their doctors, therapists, or even life partners. Conference presented by the  Sexuality and Aging Consortium.


Saturday, Sept. 20, 2014, 7-10 pmHow the Heck Do I Date at This Age? at BSA, 1 Scout Way, Doylestown PA 18901. Lusting, dating and mating, OH MY! Whether you’re widowed, divorced, recently unpartnered, or a longtime single, you’ll find this interactive workshop illuminating and fun, and you’ll get to find out how other singles over 50 meet and mate (or try to). Singles only, all genders and orientations welcome. Bring a notebook, a printout of your online profile if you have one, your questions, and a sense of humor. Free gifts for all attendees! $40, or bring a friend for $60 total. Presented by Susan Duval Seminars. Registration and more info here.


Sunday, Sept. 21, 2014, 2-5 pmSex after 50! A Women's Workshop at BSA, 1 Scout Way, Doylestown PA 18901. Yes, we all want it! Sex after age 50, 60, 70 and beyond has its challenges, but it can be SIZZLING and satisfying when you have the right information and strategies. We'll address the challenges and celebrate the joys, sharing experiences and learning from each other in a spirit of candor, acceptance, safety, creativity, and humor. Take home new tools, techniques, and attitudes for satisfying, joyful sex. In addition, Joan will share the 5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging, sharing the most common questions that people ask her. She’ll answer her answers in the candid, upbeat manner that led the media to dub her the “Senior Sexpert”! Learn about favorite sex toys for women our age -- Joan has tested them all! Women only, all orientations welcome. Free gifts for all. Bring a notebook, your questions, a spirit of curiosity, and a sense of humor.  $40, or bring a friend for $60 total. Presented by Susan Duval Seminars. Registration and more info here.

Sunday, August 3, 2014, 1:00 - 4:00 pm, How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? in Sebastopol, CA. You’re ready to connect for dating, sex, love, companionship – but dating as a senior feels awkward and weird. What are the guidelines? How do you navigate online dating, write a cool profile, avoid the pitfalls, and evade the creeps and weirdos? When do you bring up safer sex, your personal sexual issues, or sex at all? Whether you’re widowed, divorced, or a longtime single, you’ll find this interactive workshop illuminating and fun, and you’ll get to find out how other single seniors meet and mate (or try to). All genders and orientations welcome. Free gifts: Blossom Organics and Überlube lubricants, condoms, and more. Bring a notebook, a printout of your online profile if you have one, your questions, and a sense of humor. Bonus hour 4:00 - 5:00: Joan will help you revise your online dating profile. Cost: $40 prepaid by check or PayPal by July 28; $45 July 29-Aug 2.  Location is a private home in Sebastopol -- you'll get the address after you preregister.

Sunday, August 10, 2014, 1:00 - 4:00 pm, Women’s Workshop: Sex after 50 in Sebastopol, CA. Yes, sex after age 50, 60, 70 and beyond has its challenges, but it can be sizzling and satisfying when you have the right information and strategies. We'll address the challenges and celebrate the joys, sharing experiences and learning from each other in a spirit of candor, acceptance, safety, creativity, and humor. Take home new tools, techniques, and attitudes for satisfying, joyful sex—with or without a partner. Learn about favorite sex toys for women our age – Joan has tested them all! Women only, all orientations welcome. Free gifts: Blossom Organics and Überlube lubricants, and more. Bring a notebook, your questions, a spirit of curiosity, and a sense of humor. Bonus hour 4:00 - 5:00: Joan will be available for private consultations. Cost: $40 prepaid by check or PayPal by Aug. 4; $45 Aug. 5 - 9. Location is a private home in Sebastopol -- you'll get the address after you preregister.


Thursday, June 19 - Saturday, June 21, 2014free sex and aging workshops with Joan Price at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, 612-721-6088. Schedule:
  • Thurs., June 19th, 6:30 - 8:30 pm, Talking About Senior Sex (a presentation for medical professionals)
  • Fri., June 20th, 6:30 - 8:30 pm, Ask Me, I’ll Tell You: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex
  • Sat., June 21st, 6:30 - 8:30 pm, Lusting, Dating and Mating After Fifty

April 11-13, 2014Full Circle - the Art & Heart of Aging, a weekend festival in Burlington, VT. Full Circle is all about busting wide open the myths about aging and celebrating the journey to elderhood. The festival includes dance, theatre, art, comedy, music, and film as well as physical activities and interactive experiences, discussions, and workshops. .


April 23, 2014, Pleasure Chest New York - Upper East Side, 1150 2nd Ave, NY, NY 10065,  6-8 pm. Sex after 50 with Joan Price. Yes, sex after 50 has its challenges, but it can also be hot and joyful. We'll celebrate the joys and tackle the problems of older-age sexuality, sharing experiences and learning from each other in a spirit of candor, acceptance, and plenty of humor. Take home new tools, techniques, and attitudes to help you experience sizzling and satisfying sex --with or without a partner! If you are 50 and above--or you plan to be--here’s everything you wanted to know. (All genders &orientations welcome.) Free!

November 1, 2013, "Getting Your Mojo Back: Sex Tips for Women over 50." Is your sex life dull, predictable, unsatisfying, nonexistent? Yes, sex after fifty has its challenges, but it can also sizzle. Joan Price offers new information, tools, and tips that help women over fifty maintain or regain a healthy, satisfying sex life – with or without a partner.presented by Joan Price and Remi Newman, Women's Night Out, Kaiser Permanente, 401 Bicentennial Way, Santa Rosa, CA Medical Building East, Conference Rooms E-3, E-4, E-5.


Nov. 8, 2013, 7 - 9 pm,  How the Heck Do I Date at This Age? at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, (612) 721-6088. You’re ready to connect for dating, sex, love, companionship – but dating at our age feels awkward and downright weird. What are the guidelines? Joan Price helps you navigate online dating, evade the creeps and weirdos, and avoid the pitfalls that send potential dates running in the other direction. When do you bring up safer sex, your personal sexual issues, or sex at all? Whether you’re newly solo or a longtime single, you’ll find this interactive workshop illuminating and fun, and you’ll get to find out how other single Boomers and seniors meet and mate (or try to). All genders and orientations welcome; sense of humor helpful. Free!

Nov. 10, 2013, 2-4 pm, Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Talking Out Loud about Sex and Aging, at Smitten Kitten, 3010 Lyndale Ave S., Minneapolis, MN 55408, (612) 721-6088. We’re talking about senior sex—the challenges, the pleasures, and all the questions we didn't think we could ask out loud. What arouses us now, when the old ways aren't working like they used to? What do we wish we understood and could communicate better about our changing bodies and responses? How do we spice up our sexual repertoire? What if we don't have a partner? What if we don't feel desire for sex anymore? In this eye opening, interactive, mixed-gender workshop, you’ll get to voice your questions and get answers. Joan Price guides the conversation and discovery, and offers tips for putting the zest back into later-life sexuality. For singles and couples, all genders and orientations. Free!


November 15, 2013, 8:30 pm. Naughty November Nights: An Erotic Literary Soiree. Join us for an evening of erotic poems and stories by local authors. Get ready to be teased, titillated and tempted.  Gaia’s Garden, 1899 Mendocino Avenue, Santa Rosa. Featuring Joan Price, Jennie Orvino, Bill Noble, Ruth Hoppe, Pink Lady, Ray Hoey, Michael Larrain, Arnoldo Levine, Daingerous Dollie, Feral Fox, and a special musical performance by Violet Streak.


September 27- 29, 2013, “The 5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging” at CatalystCon West at the Warner Center Marriott, 21850 Oxnard Street, Woodland Hills, CA 91367. Joan Price shatters the myths and shares the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. Joan shares the concerns that older adults raise about their changing sexuality, the challenges that they face, and the misconceptions that hamper their sexual enjoyment. Throughout the session, you’ll learn tips and strategies for working with older adults and ways to address this age group about their sexual issues.

June 8, 2013, 3:30-5:30, "Sex and Aging Out Loud" at the annual conference of American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors & Therapists (AASECT), Hilton Miami Downtown, Miami, Florida. Presenter: Joan Price, MA. This session focuses on the challenges, delights, and shudders that come with writing and speaking about “senior sex.” Participants will discuss concerns that Boomers, seniors, and elders raise about their changing sexuality: the questions they ask, the challenges they face, and the misconceptions that hamper their sexual enjoyment. Throughout the workshop the presenter will offer tips and strategies for older adults and ways to address this age group about their sexual issues.


June 18, 2013, 11 am - 12:30 pm, Joan Price talks about senior sex to clinicians, Department of Psychiatry Grand Rounds, Kaiser Permanente Santa Rosa. What did her Naked at Our Age  interviewees, age 50-80+, express about their changing sexual needs, problems, and fears? Joan will identify the five major sexual concerns that seniors may be reluctant to share with their medical providers, yet that impact their health and quality of life. We'll formulate practical questions that will elicit essential sexual information, and discuss resources.

May 30, 2013Audies Awards Gala, New York City. The Audible.com audiobook edition of Naked at Our Age, read by Suzanne Toren, is a finalist for an Audie (the Oscars of audiobooks) in the Personal Development category!

May 18, 2013 10 am -12:30 pm, “Ask Me, I'll Tell You: Women and Men Talk Out Loud about Sex and Aging for couples and singles. At Kama Sutra Closet,  451 E. Main Street, #6, Ventura, CA 93001. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]

May 18, 2013, 1-4 pm, “Never Too Late! 5 Best Tips for Dating at Our Age” for singles. At Kama Sutra Closet,  451 E. Main Street, #6, Ventura, CA 93001. Joan Price gives us the new rules of dating at our age and tips for finding that special person. Her upbeat presentation will make you laugh and send you home with new hope -- and a new plan!


May 19, 2013, 2-4:30 pm : “Sex after 50” at The Pleasure Chest, 7733 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA 90046. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]

May 20, 2013, 9-10:30 am: staff training at The Pleasure Chest, 7733 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA 90046.

May 20, 2013, 6-8 pm: “The Five Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging” at The Pleasure Chest, 7733 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA 90046. : Joan Price shatters the myths and shares the most common questions that Boomers, seniors, and elders ask her. You’ll be surprised! Yes, she’ll answer those questions, too -- in the candid, upbeat manner that led the media to dub her “senior sexpert.”


May 5, 2013, 4 pm,  Center for Sex and Culture1349 Mission St., San Francisco CA (between 9th and 10th ). What would it look like if talented writers over age 50 wrote erotica featuring steamy, sexy characters who were also over 50? Ageless Erotica is a ground-breaking anthology of erotic short stories and memoir essays presenting women and men, couples and singles, straight and gay, who are over 50, 60, 70, and beyond – all enjoying and sharing their erotic moments. Contributors Dale Chase, Linda Poelzl, Dorothy Freed, Donna George Storey, and Susan St. Aubin join Joan Price, Ageless Erotica editor, reading excerpts and discussing the idea of "senior erotica."




Apr. 23, 2013, 6-8 pm: Sex after 50. Workshop with Joan Price at The Pleasure Chest, 156 Seventh Avenue South, New York, NY 10014. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]


Apr. 24, 2013, 6-7:30 pm. “The 5 Biggest Myths about Sex and Aging.” Joan Price speaks at Senior Planet Exploration Center, 127 W. 25th Street, New York, NY 10001, between 6th and 7th Avenues. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.] 


April 27, 2013, Joan Price is a panelist in "So You Want to Write for Huffington Post" at Fire Up Your Writing Career, April 25-27, 2013, the annual conference of  the American Society of Journalists and Authors, Roosevelt Hotel, New York City.


Apr. 27, 2013, 7 pm, Bluestockings bookstore, fair trade cafe, and activist center, 172 Allen Street between Stanton and Rivington, New York, NY 10002. What happens when writers over 50 write steamy senior erotica? Ageless Erotica is a ground-breaking anthology of erotic short stories and memoir essays featuring sexy characters over 50, 60, 70 and beyond – straight, gay, partnered, solo -- written by well-seasoned erotica writers. D.L. King, Tsaurah Litzky, Rae Padilla Francoeur, Audrienne Roberts Womack, Erobintica (Robin Sampson), Nancy Weber, Erica Manfred, and Joan Price read excerpts from Ageless Erotica and discuss the idea of “senior erotica.” Free!

April 14, 2013, 2 pm - 5 pm: Sex after Fifty: A Workshop for Women at Good Vibrations, 1620 Polk Street (at Sacramento Street) San Francisco, CA 94109. [see recent listing for details of this workshop.]

March 15-17, 2013: Joan Price speaks on Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex at CatalystConEast at Crystal City Marriott at Reagan Airport,1999 Jefferson Davis Highway, Arlington, Virginia 22202. Joan Price shares her spicy and often humorous experiences as an advocate for senior sexuality. She talks frankly about the most interesting, surprising, and provocative questions and concerns that seniors raise about their sexuality, along with the special challenges and satisfactions of blogging/talking/writing about senior sex.





Friday, February 27, 2015

Female Desire Pill, interview with Ellen Barnard

2/27/15 update: I interviewed Ellen Barnard about the female desire pill on 2/2/14. I'm bringing this post to the top because of the attention that "Nothing Is Wrong With Your Sex Drive" (published today in the New York Times) is getting. 

I plan to write more about this myself, and there's a good section already in The Ultimate Guide to Sex After 50: How to Maintain – or Regain! – a Spicy, Satisfying Sex Life which I hope you'll want to read. -- Joan 




Desire in a pill? 
(originally published 2/2/14)

Researchers are working on drugs to treat low desire in women. Could a desire pill really work? Do we even want it? 

To learn more, I interviewed one of the top sex educators, Ellen Barnard, co-owner of A Woman’s Touch Sexuality Resource Center.


JP: What’s the state of current research into a female desire drug?

EB: A variety of drugs are being investigated in clinical trials, most in phase 2 trials. No drug has been approved for the treatment of low desire for women, also known as Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD).  See this summary of the current state of the research.

JP: How are these drugs supposed to work?

EB: Some of these drugs work on brain chemicals; some are sex hormone-based (testosterone); others primarily work to increase physical arousal through an increase in blood to the clitoris. Most of the medications that are being investigated are designed to either overcome inhibition or lack of motivation, or flood the person with such strong physical sensations that she cannot ignore them easily. Or they manipulate the reward system of the brain in ways that increase the drive toward that sexual jackpot.

The question is whether a drug that pushes a woman into being more interested in sex is safe, healthy, or would even be effective over the long term. Many of the drugs being investigated have a variety of side effects, and some are quite undesirable. Testosterone can cause excess hair growth, acne, lowering of the voice, and a decrease in good cholesterol, for example. Other drugs show the potential for abuse, either by the woman herself or by a partner who hopes to have a more willing lover.

JP:  Why is sexual desire so complicated for women and seemingly so easy for men?

EB: It isn't, actually. Men have troubles with desire too, and their issues have many of the same origins as women's do. However, we live in a culture that reinforces men for a high interest in sex, and generally does not see a high interest in sex to be a positive thing in women, unless a woman is less interested in sex than her partner, and that lower interest causes tension between them or distress in her. But even with culture condoning high desire for men, approximately 20% experience low desire. For more info, here isa good overview

JP: How does female desire work?

EB: Desire is the cognitive recognition of sexual interest. So it's an idea, not a physiologic process, though it results in a combination of brain and body responses. Desire may be first recognized as a thought, or it may be a thought in response to a physical feeling. Many women believe that we should feel something first, that sex starts with a twinge in the vulva or elsewhere in the body, that she interprets as sexual interest and then allows to blossom into more sexual interest and then maybe into sexual activity. If physiologic signal is not as obvious because of aging, health, or stress, she may no longer get the signal, and so she does not notice the thought.

Women who have experienced sex as painful have a feedback loop that tells them that sex will hurt, and so they shut off any thought of sex to avoid the pain. If a woman is able to get rid of the pain, she will still have to convince her subconscious that sex is safe. Once she does that, her thoughts of sexual interest often become more frequent.

The same would be true of relationship health. For a woman in a healthy, rewarding relationship, the thought of sex is a safe thought and is likely to mean that she will experience pleasure if she acts on that thought, so she pursues sexual activity. Sex requires the feeling of safety. When there is tension, distrust, fear, anger, etc., the mind does not perceive sex as safe or pleasurable, so will not express desire.

When you think about how complicated desire is for women (and men as well), you can see that it's pretty complicated to consider a medication to address the root causes of most of these issues.

JP: What’s the bottom line?

EB: The bottom line is that drugs do best when there is a single, knowable cause for a symptom and the drug directly addresses that cause by reducing or removing it. Sexual desire is complicated, varies a lot from person to person, and has many moving parts. The idea that a drug could be developed to change desire is pretty far-fetched once you understand it that way, and one of our biggest fears is that you end up with a drug that has pretty wide effects and some nasty, unintended side effects.

We would prefer to address desire issues in ways that give individuals more control and more understanding of their mind and body connections so that they can do their own problem-solving and not be reliant on a pill or a doctor. Most people can increase their experience of desire through a combination of getting healthy, having a good body image, having a safe and trusting intimate relationship, getting enough sleep, lowering stress and distractions, reducing pain, and learning how to have pleasurable sexual experiences on a regular basis.